


Keep The Bad Things Out of My Mind

by thanksgodforgravity



Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, I love this trio, Slow Burn, awkward wolfie and kala are my thing, just a lot of feelings about wolfie's mother, just think about them being friends since they were teens im, kala is actually hermione granger and they're ron and harry, meeting as children, mentions of domestic abuse, nothing but respect for MY golden trio, this is not a love triangle don't worry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-05-17 06:37:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 61,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14827248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thanksgodforgravity/pseuds/thanksgodforgravity
Summary: September 2000: Kala Dandekar meets Wolfgang Bogdanow and Felix Berner. From that day on, they become an inseparable trio.Families, school, first hangovers, enemies, adulthood and heartbreaks; they go through everything together. And, as the years pass, Wolfgang and Kala realize there is much more than a simple friendship between them.





	1. October 1999

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! First of all, I want to apoligize for leaving my first story Chronicle Of a Blossomed Love in standby, I love it very much but I'm trying to figure out how to give it a decent finale.  
> This is my new story mainly focused on the Kala/Wolfgang/Felix friendship set in an Alternate Universe where they meet as teens and quickly become inseparable friends for the rest of their lives.  
> It's a Kalagang story but I am afraid it's a bit of a slow burn so please, forgive me. Good news is that I've already written 5 chapters of this story!  
> As usual, I want to apologize in advance for any mistake!
> 
> (This first chapter is 100% focused on Wolfgang and Felix)

_Part One: 1999 - 2001_

_"Getting through to you_  
 _is what I'm aiming for,_  
 _Won't you hear me now_  
 _like you've done before._ "

 

“Nobody’s named Wolfgang.”  
At eleven years old and with an arrogant smirk on his face, Felix Berner sounded sure of his statement. The boy in front of him was indifferent to what might have sounded as an insult and simply stared back, not muttering a word. Not even after his new _friend_ decided to call him Wolfie, treating him as if they’ve known each other for years.  
Not that Wolfgang could complain, Felix was the first student of his new school to talk to him without using the words “Commie” or “Idiot”, he was the first one that showed the slightest interest in him.  
“What are you in for?” He was curious and outgoing, everything that Wolfgang was not.  
“Fighting”  
Felix paused and thought about it for a second; it definitely sounded more exciting than selling cigarettes to other students so he smiled at him proudly and simply said, “Cool”.  
They were the only ones in the detention room and Felix quickly started talking about his biggest hero Conan The Barbarian; Wolfgang was amused by his interest and listened to him rambling about the greatness of his favorite fictional character with a smile on his face, careful not to give away the fact that he had never seen that movie in his life.  
  
Soon enough, the duo was inseparable despite their different personalities: Felix could talk for hours about everything and nothing, Wolfgang was quiet and rarely talked about his own life; Felix was already interested in girls, Wolfgang didn't think about them as anything other than classmates; Felix liked to provoke everyone, Wolfgang tried to avoid punches and insults but somehow he was always found by them, forcing him to fight back; Felix had a vast knowledge in American movies, Wolfgang pretended he did.

Unfortunately for Wolfgang, the truth came out on a Tuesday morning when they decided to skip school — again — to finally watch Conan together at Felix’s house; the boy was so in awe of the legendary hero that couldn’t help his excited comments, confusing his friend with his reaction over something he had, supposedly, seen many times.  
When the power went off and the television screen suddenly turned black, Wolfgang didn’t waste time to ask Felix about the ending of the movie.  
“I thought you'd already seen it?” His friend asked him, his eyebrow raised in suspicion.  
Wolfgang realized his mistake and tried to fix it with the first thing that came to mind: “Yes… but I forgot how it ends…”, he realized how stupid it sounded the minute the words came out of his mouth.  
The damage was done though and Felix wasn’t easily foolished, “I might look dumb but I’m actually quite smart so tell me the truth Wolfie”.  
With a shameful sigh, Wolfgang told him the exact reason why he lied to him: “I was afra -” he took a deep breath, “I was afraid you would thought I wasn’t cool enough or interesting or -”, Felix’s laughter interrupted him and he felt his face burn with embarrassment.  
“You really thought that?! It doesn’t make any sense!” He kept laughing for a few minutes until he noticed Wolfgang was staring at the floor, waiting for the earth to shallow him.  
“I would have forced you to watch it the same day we met dummy! Nothing more!” Felix playfully shoved him, trying to ease the tension a little.  
Wolfgang finally looked at him and with a small smile on his lips, he said:  
“Really? So, we’re still friends?”  
“Of course we are! Friends until the very end, Wolfie.”  
  
One week later, Felix kept his promise to Wolfgang in a series of bad events that tried his loyalty.  
  
Everything started on Monday, while they were walking to the new Comic Book store in the neighbourhood they found themselves in front of a group of boys not that very fond of Wolfgang, that soon started insulting and shoving him.  
“You better go.” Wolfgang immediately told him but Felix refused until he was pushed away.  
So Felix walked away… just to return with a pole, ready to beat everyone with it.  
“No one will remember if we are good men or bad! Only that two stood against many!” He shouted at these boys running away, proud of himself and feeling like Arnold Schwarzenegger himself.  
Wolfgang soon burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation, not quite believing his best friend channeled his inner Conan to defend him and scare their enemies away.  
Unfortunately, that was only the beginning of a terrible week.  
On Thursday, their Science professor reminded them of their uncompleted project about volcanoes, warning them to hand it over the day after unless they wanted a bad grade.  
It was the end of October but they were already walking on a thin line scholastically speaking so they decided to spend the whole afternoon focusing on it.  
“We can go to your home right after school.” During a break, Wolfgang tried to figure out how to start and finish an essay — and “a decent graphic representation”, Herr Wagner requested, whatever that meant. — about underwater volcanoes in less than a day.  
“Mi casa is not available today, we’ll just have to go over yours.” Felix, quite focused on eating his chocolate bar, completely missed his friend’s terrified look on his face.  
“No!” Wolfgang answered abruptly, startling Felix.  
“I mean… My mother won’t be home and I don’t think she will let us stay alone.” Felix had never met Wolfgang’s parents and he didn’t know a single thing about them; what he knew by now, though,was that Wolfgang didn’t know how to lie.  
“I don’t know why you’re lying to me Wolfie but it’s either your house or the public library,” Their neighbourhood’s public library was known for its poor maintenance and lack of books so the choice was quite simple to Felix and Wolfgang couldn’t do anything but accept the situation.  
“Alright. I’ll see you at four outside the park at three and we’ll go to my house together.” His voice was low, his tone defeated and Felix wondered all morning what exactly was Wolfgang trying to hide from him.  
They walked towards Wolfgang’s house in complete silence, Felix tried to ease the tension as usual with his silly jokes, playfully shoving his friend as he always did but he got nothing more than one-word replies and a shrug of the shoulders.  
When they finally made it to his apartment, Felix was more confused than before.The building looked as if it could fall at the slightest shake, yes, and most of the staircase's windows were broken, but when Wolfgang opened the door they walked in and found a small living room and the smell of gingerbread lingering in the air.  
“Hello!” A woman came out of the kitchen holding a tray of sweets. She was gorgeous, her blonde hair was braided and thick eyebrows framed her eyes making you instantly stare at the deep blue of them.  
She had a strong Russian accent and she was way too young to be Wolfgang’s mother, Felix thought.

“Hello I’m Felix, Mrs. Bogdanow” He held out his hand formally and she shook it smiling fondly at him, “Yes, Wolf told me a lot about you. Please, call me Sofia.”  
He stared at her while she kissed Wolfgang’s head in greeting and went back to the kitchen, promising to come back with more cookies and beverages; she was certainly a young woman but the lines on her face showed the hardness of a difficult life, these lines however seemed to soften every time she looked at her son and every time he returned her affectionate gestures with a small smile of his own.  
There was no doubt of their tight bond and, not for the first time that day, Felix couldn’t help but wonder why Wolfgang was so secretive about his life at home.  
Once Sofia came back with the sweets she promised they sat on the living room table and started eating with her, she was lively and genuinely interested on their school project, offering her help and giving them her best advices. Felix, used to his parents' complete indifference about anything related to him, was more than eager to talk wit her.  
“Did you like going to school Mrs. Bog- Sofia?” Felix quickly corrected himself before finishing the question. Despite what his professors usually said, he was a well-behaved young man and using her given name seemed strange.   “Yes, I did. very much.”  
“And did you went to university?” “No, Felix, I did not.” She was already growing quite fond of the boy and enjoyed his curiosity, Wolfgang did not though and rolled his eyes at his friend’s incapability of staying quiet for more than a minute.  
“Why not?”, instead of answering him immediately, she paused for a while and looked at her hands, “Well, I got pregnant.”  
By then, Wolfgang had decided that they’d talked enough and abruptly stood up, “We have to start now or we will never finish before seven”. He left to go to his room and pick up the supplies they needed for the practical part of their project.  
“My Wolf probably seems a little evasive and cold most of the times but he has an heart of gold,” Her eyes were still staring at her hands and her voice was soft and low; as if she was trying to apologize for her son’s personality, as if she was the one to blame for it.  
“I know.” Felix simply answered, the knowledge that there was so much about his best friend’s life that he didn’t know suddenly hits him and, definitely for the first time in his life, he didn’t know what to say. In that moment she looked at him and he could see the desolation in her eyes, her clear feelings struck him as a forceful wave and he felt the need to take a deep breath. Suddenly, Sofia stood up, the mask conceling her emotions was back on her face, and she stared at the clock, “Oh! I forgot to buy food for tonight, will you mind staying alone for a while?”, at that very moment Wolfgang came out of his room and answered instead of Felix, “Don’t worry Mama.”  
She smiled, whispered something in Russian to Wolfgang and left.  
  
Wolfgang’s attitude did not change while working on the project, he seemed anxious to finish it as quickly as possible and constantly checked the time.  
“Don’t worry Wolfie, I don’t think my parents would mind me staying here for dinner,” Felix tried to ease his friend’s nerves but his statement only made the situation worse.  
Wolfgang had always been the better student between the two but Felix had never seen him focused so much on something and deep down he knew he wasn’t that worried about not finishing the project before the due date. There was something else and he soon found out what; at exactly half past five in the afternoon, Felix Berner found out the root of Wolfgang’s insecurities and problems: Anton Bogdanow.  
They heard keys clinking outside the apartment door and Wolfgang startled, visibly nervous. Felix didn’t notice his friend’s reaction though, and was about to casually remark that his mother seemed to be back when an old man opened the door.  
He was drunk, looked like a mess and was barely able to walk.  
“I think you should go.” Wolfgang’s voice was low and serious.  
Felix didn’t have the time to say he wasn’t going anywhere, “Oh so you have finally made a friend. About fucking time.” the man came closer to the boys. He stank of cheap alchool and even cheaper perfume, spit coming out of his mouth with every word.  
Wolfgang put himself in front of his friend and raised his chin up, “He was leaving, Anton. Leave him alone.”, he tried to sound strong and brave but his hands were trembling and sweat was wetting his temples.  
Felix had never been more uncomfortable in his entire life; his own family was far from perfect but their flaw was hypocrisy, not violence.  
“Go.” Wolfgang muttered, pushing him towards the door, “I’m not leaving you.”, Felix replied despite his fear.  
Anton violently grabbed Wolfgang’s arm, pulling him closer, “I don’t remember giving my permission to invite strangers in my fucking house”.

“You’re never here”, the boy answered defiantly. Felix paled, Wolfgang didn’t even blink.  
Anton smirked at his son, a cold terrifying smirk, and pushed him to the ground; Wolfgang winced and he laughed at him. “You like to act like a big man, uh?” his derisive laughter was filled with maliciousness and his dark blue eyes lightened up with amusement when Wolfgang clutched his arm in pain.  
Felix was paralyzed, his eyes moved from his best friend and the man; anger, fear, disgust and worry overwhelmed him so much he felt like he was about to throw up.  
“Well, you’re nothing but a little bitch, just like your mother.” Anton kicked him; once, twice and Wolfgang did nothing more than close his eyes and count the seconds. Waiting for it to end.  
It did end eventually, thanks to Felix and the glass bottle he crashed on Anton’s head.  
Anton fell to the floor and Felix managed to help Wolfgang get up, “Conan, what is best in life?” he suddenly screamed. Wolfgang looked at him and smiled, grateful, “To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you!”  
And they left. Together.  
  
  
“You should stay with me tonight Wolfgang,” They were standing near a drinking fountain in the park, trying to soothe the bruises on Wolfgang’s skin with water.  
“Thank you but I can’t.” “But-” “No.”  
Wolfgang had always been stubborn but this time, this time his stubbornness was born out of loyalty and a need to protect, “I can’t leave my mother with him.”  
“You can’t defend her Wolfie,” Felix whispered, he knew it must have sounded harsh but that’s the hard truth and they both knew it.  
“I know, but I can help her after it.” Wolfgang’s eyes were filled with unshed tears and he sat down on the grass, too emotionally exhausted to care about the physical pain.  
“Did you ever tried to ask for help?” Felix hesitated before asking, not sure what he was allowed to know, “Yes but police doesn’t give a fuck. And he has made it clear what would happen if I tried to do anything”.   
They stayed quiet for a minutes until Wolfgang broke the silence, “You can’t tell anyo-” “I won’t, don’t worry.”, Felix quickly reassured him. They both knew that silence was not the right way to confront the situation but they were also aware things could have turned much worse. For all of them.  
“Thank you Felix. What you did today meant very much to me.” His voice was thick with emotion and he closes his eyes to stop himself from crying.  
“Friends until the very end, Wolfie.” He hugged him tightly and that was the moment Wolfgang Bogdanow knew he hadn’t found a friend in a detention class, but a brother.  
  
Months passed, and the two boys grew even closer. After managing to pass their classes with barely decent grades, they spent the summer holidays playing pranks, watching movies and the occasional small theft from a minimarket. They also started hanging out occasionally with a young boy named Ismail, a misfit just like them, and together they spent the most amazing summer of their life. Finding every occasion to stay out of their homes as long as possible.

But with the start of the new school year things were bound to change and the arrival of a new student was the beginning of it all.


	2. September 2000

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kala moves from Frankfurt to Berlin and has her first day of school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very short but I promise the next one is coming soon!

To say that Kala Dandekar was nervous is an understatement; staring at the wall in front of her bed, she twirled her curls around her finger absently, over-analyzing every little thing that could go wrong that day and all the possible solutions.

“If you blush too much you could blame it on the cold, perhaps,” she reassured herself. She had been thinking about the first day at her new school ever since her father told her they were moving to Berlin, she was a creature of habit and not knowing what to expect was becoming unbearable.

“It’s weird when you talk to yourself.” her younger sister teased her from her side of the room. At only ten years old, Daya had the cockiness of a teenager, much to Kala’s annoyance. Kala glared at her and ignored her comment. Instead, she kneeled in front of her idol of Lord Ganesha and started praying.

Ever since her very first Ganesh Chaturthati, four years before, she had felt connected to the God more than she ever and, of consequence, she got closer to her family’s religion. As the child of immigrant parents she tried constantly not to lose her family’s culture, some things proved more difficult to preserve ㇐ She usually couldn’t hide her frown every time her mother talked about some stranger’s arranged marriage ㇐ but her connection with religion felt genuine. It gave her strength and it offered her comfort, all things she needed that day.

 

They sat down to have breakfast in their kitchen, the only part of the house that was entirely free of boxes, and started eating in silence. “Well someone is awfully quiet this morning, what’s going on my girls?” Sanyam Dandekar, always the attentive father, asked them.

“I’m just enjoying my food, Kala is internally freaking out over her first day at school.” Daya said wincing as her sister kicked her under the table. The statement was true but Kala didn’t want her parents to know how much these changes were affecting her: they had moved from Frankfurt just three weeks before in the hope of opening a successful restaurant in the capital and her father knew how much it had troubled her to leave her life behind.

Most importantly, he knew how difficult it was for her to get comfortable with strangers and be herself. Daya had always been the more confident of the two and Sanyam didn’t worry much about her, knowing she would be probably inviting new friends over their house by the end of the week, but Kala was another matter entirely.

“Oh darling,” her mother caressed her hair and looked at her with pity, something that Kala hated since she was a little child.

Fighting the urge to roll her eyes, Kala reassured her parents, and herself,  “It’s completely normal to worry about new beginnings, alright?”.

“I’m sure you will do great _Beti_ , you’re amazing. Besides, first days are hard for everyone and who says otherwise is a liar,” Sanyam smiled widely at his oldest daughter, he knew the best thing he could do in that moment was compliment her without making her feel more vulnerable than she already felt.

“Thank you, Dad.” Kala smiled at her father, grateful once more of his calming presence.

Breakfast continued smoothly and no one said anything else about the topic, something which Kala was thankful for, and instead focused on the newest gossip regarding their distant cousin’s divorce.

“Divorce shouldn’t even be an option, you either work on your marital problems or learn to live with them.” It was no secret that her mother Priya was the most conservative of her parents, often stating opinions that Kala didn’t exactly agreed with. “We do not know what was going on inside their marriage darling, some things are simply too hard to ignore.” Sanyam told his wife.

Before her mother could say anything about their family slow loss of moral values, Kala quickly drank the rest of her orange juice and got up from the table. “I have to finish getting ready for school, sorry.” and with that, she ran back to her room.

Her nerves had reached the level in which she tried to came up with an excuse to not go to school and she had to move constantly, otherwise the panic would overwhelm her. She was still moving around her room  when her sister came to tell her it was time to go, and with a last deep breath, she left the safety of her home.

 

Her morning classes were… uneventful, to say the least. She was introduced by her teacher and then promptly ignored by all her classmates; no questions about where she came from, no one approached her to introduce themselves or help her out around the school and no one invited her to seat with them during lunch break.

So there she was sitting on a table alone, eating her salad and pretending to read her Maths notes. She tried very hard not to look around her and let herself get sad at the view of everyone apparently belonging in a group of friends. “You’re the new girl, of course you don’t have friends.” she thought, quickly replacing her sad frown with a casual smile, “Get a grip, Kala.”. She had to scold herself more than once during her first day of school because she was very determined not to let herself down over something that was normal and bound to change soon.

She was about to finish her orange when a loud feminine laugh distracted her and slowly turning her head she looked at the direction it had come from. A very pretty girl was laughing loudly and chatting in spanish with her friends, throwing her long brown hair back and trying to contain herself by putting an hand in front of her mouth. Kala couldn’t help the sudden pang of jealousy that hit her; that girl was no older than thirteen years old but lacking the common awkwardness of the age, instead she looked like she owned the room with her cute small face and her big dark eyes. Kala had never felt the urge to befriend someone more.

 

Once she got home, Kala closed the door of her room and dramatically threw herself on the bed. She stared at the ceiling until she eventually fell asleep, trying not to think about her very disappointing day. At half past five, her mother gently woke her up and started asking her questions and making assumptions.

Her monosyllabic answers should have been a clear sign of her current mood but Priya didn’t seem to notice it and kept talking, completely obvious to her daughter’s discomfort. “Mom, what’s for dinner?” Kala abruptly interrupted, not particularly caring if she was being rude.

Priya was taken aback but calmly answered, “Dum Aloo, darling. Is everything alright?” “Yes, mom. I’m just tired and I want to sleep for a little while.” Not wanting to worry her mother, Kala tried her best to smile and convince everything was fine.

Knowing she had to keep her façade even through dinner, Kala asked Priya to leave her alone so as to get ready for her family’s eventual interrogation. Things had not been different in Frankfurt, her family’s constant curiosity had always been part of her life but back then she actually had a decent life and rarely felt the need to lie.

She missed her old friends very much and the memory of her goodbye to them stung harder than usual that day.

 

Her week went by with the same routine: she went to school, tried not to get affected by her classmates’ indifference and then promptly lied about it to her parents at home. She tried to socialize with small steps such as asking for a pen, helping someone out during a particularly hard exercise and laughing at dumb jokes. Nothing seemed to work however, her timid smiles and her natural ability of being a good student were less than alluring to her classmates.

Everything seemed bound to stay the same until one day someone sat next to her during English class.

 “Hey” the boy smiled at her while he took his pencil case out of his backpack.

“Hi” she said, not really looking at him. She was surprised to see him there, she had noticed the boy during their shared classes but he had always seemed to hang out only with his very limited group of friends. They stayed in silence for most of the lesson until the professor assigned an exercise and he needed her help, of course.

Kala, kind girl she was, helped him to finish the whole exercise while actually trying to teach him something, “This is why in some sentences you have to use the Simple Past. Got it?”. He was looking at her with the clear look of someone that had not heard a word of what she had just said, “You’re the new girl, right?” he asked, catching her completely off guard.

“Yes.” she answered, almost wary of the sudden interest.

“Where are you from?” he noticed her shyness and smiled at her trying to ease her nerves.

The boy was a natural smooth talker, showing no sign of timidity.

“Frankfurt.”

“Oh I thought you were from India or something, that’s not nearly as interesting”, the minute he said it he immediately apologized, “Shit, that was not nice. Sorry. Bet Frankfurt is lovely this time of the year. I guess.” Kala was incredibly embarrassed but laughed despite it, “It actually is, and I am in fact from India. My family moved here when I was three years old.”

“That’s so cool. So you speak Indian?”, the boy smiled enthusiastically at her, growing more curious about her cultural background.

“Yes, I speak Hindi.” she put emphasis on the word Hindi, subtly correcting him again. Kala couldn’t deny to herself that she was glad of being the center of the conservation for once.

“Oh sorry.”, his pale skin grew red the moment he realized he had made another mistake, “I’ve always been interested in other countries culture, everything is always the same shit around here. Fucking exhausting if you ask me.”

Kala stayed quiet, not entirely sure what she was supposed to reply to his statement. She might have been born in India but she had spent most of her life in Germany therefore she didn’t think she had the necessary experience to compare the two countries.

“You know, I would have come to talk you sooner but I never seemed to convince my friend. He’s a bit shy, let’s say that.” He told her quietly, grinning as if sharing a very embarrassing secret with her. “And why are you here now?”

“He’s not at school today, thought it was the best chance to come and introduce myself.” Kala smiled at him, his confidence reminding her fondly of her younger sister.

“I’m Kala.” she offered him her hand and he grabbed it, shaking it more animately than needed.

“I’m Felix, would you like to have lunch with me and my friend Ismail?”, his smile was so sincere and hopeful that she couldn’t help but accept his offer without even thinking about it.

After all, he was the only one who had showed the slightest interest in her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... the special was Something uh? Thank god for fanfiction!


	3. October 2000

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kala and Wolfgang finally meet and, unfortunately, it's not friendship at first sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, if you think the characters are a little OOC, remember that they're 12 years old and 12 years old are the actual worst. 
> 
> (also remember that I wrote this before the Special so Wolfie's mom name is not the same as the show)

“Could you buy the chocolate cookies I like, please?”

Wolfgang was sitting on the couch that morning, eating his cereal in front of the tv. It was a rare occasion for him to have time to have breakfast in the morning, he usually prefered fifteen more minutes of sleep and an apple on his way to school.

That morning however, his father woke the entire house when he arrived home completely drunk after four days of absence. Stumbling through the furniture, Anton had not cared about all the noise he made nor that it was five in the morning.

The man had quickly passed out on his bed without harassing anyone, thus Wolfgang and his mother had the opportunity of having a peaceful breakfast together, knowing that he was going to be unconscious for most of the day.

“You’ve just recovered from your stomach ache, darling.” Sofia told him. He had been sick for the past three days, his stomach suffering the consequences of his last “Candy Marathon” ㇐ an entire afternoon spent eating various types of sweets with no parental supervision whatsoever㇐ with Felix.

“I’m better now Mama! I haven’t thrown up anything in the last-” he quickly checked the time on the living room’s clock, “eight hours! I swear, I’m completely fine.” he smiled widely at her, knowing she rarely said no to him when he smiled like that.

Sofia raised an eyebrow at that and said, “Oh really? If you’re so fine then you can go to school today.”

At that, Wolfgang’s face changed completely and he touched his belly dramatically, “Actually, Mama… I’m not sure I completely recovered.”

Sofia laughed wholeheartedly and ruffled his hair, “Nice try Wolf.”, he pouted and was about to say something to convince her to let him miss school that day when his father made his presence known unexpectedly and they straightened their backs.

Anton moved through the living room towards the bathroom without even sparing a glance at them and the jovial mood between mother and son finished abruptly.

His mother smiled softly at him and whispered, “I’ll pick you up at school today, we buy your cookies and go to the zoo. Alright?”

Wolfgang simply nodded and focused back on the tv. He definitely didn’t want to stay home that day.

 

“Wolfie! There you are!” Felix ran to him the moment he stepped inside the classroom. “Wow, you look like shit.”

“Thank you, Felix.” he rolled his eyes and went to their usual seats.

They were discussing the next time they were going to the movies when Ismail greeted them, “Wolfgang, nice to have you back with us.”

The two boys had a somewhat special… friendship. They didn’t trusted each other yet, both their personalities prevented that, but there was mutual admiration. “I was gone three days, I hope you didn’t miss me too much.” Wolfgang smirked at him and Ismail laughed softly, “You wish, Bogdanow.”

Right in that moment, the school bell rang announcing the official start of the lesson and their Science professor entered the room. Ismail muttered something about their next break and left to sit at his table.

Wolfgang immediately noticed that he wasn’t sitting at his usual spot and frowned, “Ismail sitting next to a girl? Since when?”.  

Felix turned to look at the his same direction and shrugged, “Oh that’s our new friend.” He said it with such a casual tone that Wolfgang’s eyes widen in surprise. “Our new what?”

Before Felix could answer their professor told them to keep quiet for the rest of his class and, therefore he didn’t have the chance to tell Wolfgang what he had missed, leaving his friend to stare  at the mysterious girl for the rest of the class.

 

With class finally over, “forty-five minutes of pure scientific torture” according to Felix, it was the right time for Wolfgang to ask more about the girl but before he could open his mouth, she was approaching them.

“Hi, Felix.” She smiled shyly, avoiding eye contact with Wolfgang.

“Hey, Kala! How did your German assignment went yesterday?” The two started talking animatedly, with the confidence of two long time friends. Only when Felix looked at Wolfgang he realized his friend was incredibly confused.

“Where are my manners?!  Kala this is Wolfgang, Wolfgang this is Kala.” He introduced them with a wide smile on his face.

Kala, who had seen the blonde before, finally looked at him and blushed, “Hi, nice to meet you.”

“Yeah. Same.” He said flatly.

Wolfgang’s answer was rude even for him, his impassive voice was stark contrast to Kala’s sweet greeting. He was aware of his terrible attitude but still, he said nothing and looked at her with a mildly annoyed look.

Kala was blushing madly from the embarrassment and quickly said goodbye to Felix, whom elbowed his friend the moment she left.

“You’re an asshole.” Felix clearly cared for the girl already and didn’t bother to hide his anger.

“I don’t see the point of being nice to someone I’ve never seen in my life.” Wolfgang’s words seemed to come out his mouth without any kind of filter and he sounded meaner than he intended to be.

“Because that’s what civilized people do, you know, they socialize with strangers.”

“I missed school for three fucking days and apparently now we make friends. Cool. Sorry I didn’t get the memo.”, he said with a sneer.

Wolfgang,  just like Kala, was a creature of habit. Not even a year before, he had decided it was the two of them against the world and so it had been until then. This sudden change of plans was something he had not seen coming.

Felix had never seemed interested in befriending other people ㄧtheir relationship with Ismail was a “partnership in crime”, as they both referred it. ㄧso this sudden _friendship_ he had established while Wolfgang wasn’t around made him feel vulnerable.

Wolfgang, of course, didn’t voice any of his thoughts thus earning a glare and a middle finger from his best friend.

“I hope you realize what a little shit you’re being before lunch because she is joining us and you better be a fucking angel by then.” Felix closed his book with a thud, put his backpack on his shoulder and left.

 

Two hours after, Wolfgang had the opportunity to apologize to Kala during a break and, surprisingly, he did.

Seeing her in the hallway, Wolfgang approached her and gave her something resembling a smile. Social niceties were definitely not his thing.

“Hello. Kala, right?” he put himself in front of her to make her stop walking.

“Yes.” She raised an eyebrow in suspicion and straightened her back.

Wolfgang took a deep breath and decided to go straight to the point, “Listen, I was a little shit before and I apologize. It’s just that… I’m not good at making friends and you appeared out of nowhere and - ” Before he could end his uncharacteristic rant, Kala interrupted him.

“You’re jealous and feel your position as Felix’s best friend threatened by a complete stranger. That would also explain your irrational dislike of Ismail. ” She said matter-of-factly, with the attitude of a scientist explaining a natural phenomenon.

Kala’s eyes widen the moment she realized how blunt she had been. Her sister always told her she seemed to talk without a filter sometimes and now more than ever, she knew Daya was right.

Wolfgang, more distracted than he would admit, nodded at first but then shaked his head vigorously, “What? No! Absolutely not!” he was looking at her indignantly.

Kala’s cheeks were a deep red and she didn’t even try to hide her embarrassment as she stuttered, “I’m so-sorry! I-I didn’t mean to sound so rude.”

But the damage was done already and Wolfgang’s twelve-year-old pride was damaged.

“Whatever. Just remember, you being ‘friend’ of Felix,” and he said the word “friend” mockingly, “doesn’t mean you’re also mine.” He looked at her with narrowed eyes and left before she could say anything.

Not that she would have; Kala knew herself well and knew that the moment her mouth had opened she would have started stuttering again, or worse, crying.

 

Their lunch wasn’t any better.

There were only three of them at their table since Ismail had decided to sit with another group of friends, 一 new friends he had made just three weeks before and with whom he had started to hang out more often, splitting his time between them and Wolfgang and Felix.

Sitting next to Felix, Wolfgang tried to avoid Kala’s constant gaze and he acted as if she wasn’t even there. Felix, always the one who led the conversations, was too busy ranting about how his parents left him again with his uncle to go on vacation to even feel the tension.

“You know, it’s actually a good thing they’re gone! Uncle Alex is always at work and we have the house all to ourselves!” That’s what Felix always seemed to do: find a positive side of his parents’ negligence.

“We could organize a movie marathon or something.” Wolfgang answered shrugging his shoulders. “Yes! Oh that would be awesome!” Felix smiled widely and looked at Kala, “You’re coming too, right?”

Kala shifted nervously on her seat, “I don’t know, my parents don’t want me to go to my friends’ houses unless they meet their parents first.”

At this, both boys smiled sadly at her and made sounds of disappointment. But only one was actually saddened.

“So it’s just the two of us, Felix?” Wolfgang asked his friend, his voice low enough to pretend being sad.

“I guess so, if Kal can’t really come.” Felix shrugged and looked at her. Kala’s eyes had narrowed at Wolfgang’s blatant fake disappointment.

“Well, I can ask them.” Two could play at that game, and Kala was determined not to let Wolfgang’s pettiness ruin her newfound friendship with Felix.

His eyes widened, “Are you sure? We don’t want you to get in trouble.” His voice was so calm and concerned that she almost believed him; his ridiculous pout, however, gave him away.

Wolfgang couldn’t care less about her presence, that was obvious enough to Kala, and was only acting the part of the concerned friend in order to not make Felix suspicious and angry.

“Oh, I’m sure. There’s nothing wrong in asking.” Kala smirked deviously at him, catching him by surprise.

“Yes! Just bat your eyes and smile sweetly, I’m sure your parents will let you come!” Felix, completely obvious to the tensed situation as usual, was smiling brightly at both of them.

Felix and Kala soon started talking animatedly about something else, talking with natural ease as old friends would; Wolfgang just stared at them with a tight-lipped smile on his face, realizing in that moment that Kala Dandekar was bound to stay in their life for a long time.


	4. November 2000

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kala meets Wolfgang's mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for mention of domestic abuse.

As Wolfgang had feared, Kala actually managed to get her parent’s permission to spend the afternoon with them at Felix’s Uncle house. How, he had no idea.

“So your parents just let you hang out with two teenage boys you  just met and whom they’ve never seen? In an apartment with no adult supervision? Without even calling their parents?” Wolfgang looked at her suspiciously, Felix had gone to the kitchen to get something to eat and it was the perfect time for him to be incredibly annoying.

Kala stopped walking around the living room — she had started analyzing every little thing inside the house the minute she got inside — to stare at him with narrowed eyes, “Yes, why they shouldn’t have?”

Wolfgang shrugged, not really knowing what to say, “Well, from how you talked about them they seem to be very strict about these kind of things.”

She rolled her eyes, usually she was not someone who could be easily annoyed but Wolfgang seemed to have a great talent at irking her.

“They trust me. I never lie to them. Not that it’s any of your business.” She answered more aggressively than she intended to and saw how Wolfgang opened his mouth a little in shock. That expression, however, soon changed into a tiny knowing smirk: Kala had, in fact, lied to her parents about her whereabouts and thanks to her little outburst now he had a confirmation to his doubts.

Before they could say anything else, Felix came out of the kitchen with a bowl of popcorn, “I think we should start with an horror movie.”

 

One hour and a half later, they were sitting on the couch watching the most boring horror movie ever made in the history of cinema. Felix, always one to appreciate low-quality movies, was actually enjoying it though, much to Kala’s and Wolfgang’s disbelief.

“I can’t actually believe you like this shit.” Wolfgang was sitting next to Felix on his left side, while Kala’s was on the other.

“Shh!” Felix shushed him and kept staring at the screen.

“I don’t get it. If he already suspected the spirit was taking the souls of everyone that walked through the cemetery at night, why did he went there?” Kala was hugging a pillow to her chest and had a confused frown on her face.

Wolfgang snorted, “Because this is low-budget movie with no actual plot, Kala. Why are you even trying to make sense of all this?”

“I was hoping to find some sense in the plot to justify the lack of acting skills in the cast and the incredibly tacky visual effects.” Kala said very seriously.

“I think they run of budget at the beginning of the shooting.” He said.

“Probably wasted all of it on the protagonists’ botox injections. Not that it was worth it.” She blurted out so casually that Wolfgang couldn’t help to laugh a little.

Kala turned her head and looked at him surprised, her eyes met his for a few seconds before he nervously looked back at the television’s screen.

“You two are the fucking worst, really.” Felix told them as he turned the volume on in an attempt to make them stop talking.

They stayed quiet until the movie finally finished forty minutes later and as screen turned black the three of them said at the same time; “That was WILD!”, “Worst two hours of my life.”, “What the hell were they thinking?”

Felix rolled his eyes at his friends’ critics, “You should learn to enjoy even movies that do not have some deep meaningful story and shit. Stop being a snob.”

Kala and Wolfgang looked at each other and shared a smile, “We have more refined taste in movies than you, can’t really blame us for that.” said Wolfgang with a shrug.

“Sorry if we don’t all have Fight Club as our favorite movie, you pretentious ass.” Felix playful shoved Wolfgang and Kala laughed at their banter.

“Fight Club? What’s that?” she asked.

“Oh just one of these _Good Movies_ Wolfie likes to watch.”

It was the first time Kala had heard Felix’s nickname for Wolfgang and smiled at it, “From the title it sounds as something he would like.”

It was meant as a innocent teasing but Wolfgang perceived that as a critic, “What?”

Kala’s smile vanished a little, “Well… with all your black clothes and attitude that’s the idea people get from you. That’s all.”

Suddenly the room’s mood changed. It wasn’t anything Wolfgang and Felix didn’t know already but hearing it from someone’s else was different.

“So, a person’s clothes determine who they are?” There was absolutely no need for Wolfgang to get so bothered by her words and he knew that. Still, they hurt him more than he was comfortable to admit to himself.

“N-N-No.. That wasn’t what I meant.” Kala was getting nervous, she was upset that her simple words were being twisted like that.

“Ok ok, Wolfie you should relax. I think what we all need now is another crappy movie you two can make fun of.” Felix said, trying to ease the tension.

“Actually, it’s late and I should really go.” Kala got up from the couch and started gathering up her things.

Wolfgang just stayed quiet while Felix tried to convince her to stay a little longer.

“I would like to Felix, but I really have to go home before it’s too late and my parents worry.”

And after thanking him for his hospitality, and not a single glance at Wolfgang, she left.

Felix sighed and ran his fingers through his messy hair, “You don’t have to be like that with her.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Wolfgang looked at him and shrugged.

“Yes, you do. If you gave her a chance you would realize what a cool girl she is. I think you two could get along very well.”

“I doubt that. Do you have actual food? I’m hungry.” Wolfgang got up and walked to the kitchen.

“Nice way to change the topic.” Felix followed him, determined not to drop the conversation, “maybe that’s what you want.” he looked at his friend’s back as he opened the fridge and leaned down to check what was inside, “you don’t want to like her. You’re afraid she could turn to be someone important to you.”

Wolfgang’s body  tensed, he closed the fridge’s door and looked at him seriously, “You’re an idiot. It’s not that deep.”

Felix rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation for the umpteenth time that day, “If you say so.” and left his friend in a kitchen alone, staring at the wall.

 

Weeks passed and the trio kept hanging out, Felix being the glue that bound them together and forced Kala and Wolfgang to interact.

One afternoon, though, the two connected in an unexpected way.

It was a rainy day in the middle of November, the school year was getting tougher and the teachers were more demanding; so Kala had organized a study group to help the two struggling boys.

Each day they focused on a different subject and Kala managed to help them in all of them with patience and efficiency.

“If it weren’t for you, my dear Kaly, I would be failing five classes instead of three.” Felix told her and while Kala smiled at his nickname Wolfgang rolled his eyes.

They were in the school library and had textbooks, notebooks and chocolate snacks; they were currently focusing on Biology since they had an important test the day after.

Wolfgang, having finished his exercise, started putting his things in his backpack, “I have to go.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to help you with anything else?” Kala looked at him and said quietly.

He smiled at her slightly, “No. Thank you for all your help, it was very useful.”

Kala blushed a little and looked down. Their… _relationship_ was a strange one: they teased each other, sometimes more playfully than others; they shared most of their classes and even sat together when Felix wasn’t present; they had the power to annoy the other like no else had done before but there were also times where they would compliment each other out of the sudden with a clear sincerity in their words.

“Just make sure to go over your notes again before tomorrow.” Felix was serious and Wolfgang actually _laughed_ at his friend’s newfound interest for school.

“Yeah, thanks Felix.” He told them he would be seeing them at school and left.

Kala and Felix decided to stay longer in the library and focus on their work, an hour later they both agreed they had enough and decided to go home.

After saying goodbye, and reassuring him he would not fail another subject, Kala and Felix parted ways at the bus stop.

Kala’s bus was ten minutes late due to the traffic and, not having nothing else to do, decided to take the book she was reading out of the backpack. That’s when she saw Wolfgang’s Biology textbook.

At first, she tried to convince herself that he would have studied with his own notes and that there was no problem. But then, she remembered how a few days before she and the boys had walked by Wolfgang’s apartment building after school. She did not know the exact apartment but she was determined to try and find it. It was, after all, something a good friend would do. Or at least, that’s what Kala thought.

 

Half an hour later, Kala was nervously walking towards Wolfgang’s house; she told herself that the reason of her nerves was simply the late hour and the thought of her parents getting worried but she knew it was more than that. She simply wasn’t sure of how he would react to seeing her there.

The building’s door was open and she got inside; the staircase was poorly lightened, the floor was full of dirt, there were spiderwebs under the handrails and the overall atmosphere of the place was something out of a thriller movie. Not that she was expecting anything else, it was a terrible neighbourhood and she shouldn’t even had been walking alone in it.

“I can’t believe I will get murdered because of a textbook.” she mumbled while she started going up the stairs.

She checked every apartment’s name tag until she finally found “Bogdanow” on the fifth floor.

Kala took a deep breath, counted to ten and rang the doorbell.

Nothing happened. There were no sounds coming from other side of the door and she felt oddly relieved. Just when she was starting to leave though, someone opened the door.

Kala’s eyes widen at the woman in front of her and at her face: her left eye was barely open and there was a dark purple bruise around it; her blonde hair was in disarray, as if someone had been violently pulling it; she was tiny, she had her arms around her stomach and was surprised to see her. Kala stared at her, she didn’t know what she was supposed to do or say.

She wanted to ask the woman if she was in danger, she wanted to tell her she could call the police for her. But Kala was’t used to situations like this, her feelings overcame her and she didn’t say any of these things.

“H-H-Hello, I’m a friend of Wolfgang’s, we were studying in the library and he left his book there, we have a test tomorrow so I decided to drop it off, I didn’t want to bother your family, I’m so sorry if I did, I didn’t mean it.” Kala started rambling as she always did when she was excited or, in this case, nervous.

The woman tried her best to smile at her, it seemed as if all her movements caused her pain.

“Don’t worry. I’m his mother, I can give it to him.” Her voice came out a little strangled and only then Kala noticed the bruises lingering on her neck.

Kala hastily handed the textbook to her, trying her best to avoid eye-contact. Only before leaving she looked at woman and, took a deep breath and said timidly “Vinegar mixed with warm water could ease the bruises,  the vinegar increases blood flow near the skin’s surface so it helps to dissipate the bruise. Also, Arnica is an useful herb because it reduces the inflammation so you won’t feel so much pain.”

She wasn’t sure of how Wolfgang’s mother would have reacted to her advice; would have she been bothered by her meddling? Would she have told her to get out and stay quiet about what she had seen? Kala was scared, but she also wanted to help the woman. Even a little.

So, she didn’t wait for her response and ran down the stairs as quickly as she could.

 

Once outside on the street, she slowed down her pace. Her mind couldn’t stop thinking about what she had just seen, she was trying to think about all the possibilities but the conclusion was evident and it pained her so much her eyes started to fill with tears.

The minute she had left the building she knew what she had to do; she was going home, tell everything to her parents and beg them to help her.

Kala was so deep in her thoughts and troubled with her discovery that she bumped into someone, “I’m sorry.” keeping her head down, she murmured and tried to walk away. The fastest she reached home, the fastest she could help Wolfgang’s mother.

“Kala?” A gentle hand stopped her and tried to look at her, he had heard her broken voice and grew worried.

Kala’s body stiffened at the sound of his voice and silently asked Ganesha why would He do this to her.

She sniffled slightly and tried her best to smile, “Hi, Wolfgang.”

“Why are you crying?” He narrowed his eyes in concern and came close to her.

“No, I’m not crying. It’s the allergies.” Kala wanted to slap herself for her stupid excuse the moment it came out.

Wolfgang laughed and tilted his head to give her a better look, “Allergies? Seriously?”

She stayed quiet, refusing to meet his eyes.

“Why are you here? It’s late, you should be at home by now.” He asked her, his voice was gentle and quiet. She had never heard it before.

“Why aren’t you at home?” Kala answered his question with another one. Her voice was accusatory, part of her wondering why he wasn’t at home caring for his mother.

Wolfgang was shocked to hear this and explained her his mother had sent him to the grocery store half an hour before.

It was impossible for her to keep acting as if she had not seen anything and she couldn’t stop the tears to fall from her eyes. “You should go home, Wolfgang. I don’t think your mom is ok.”

He drew a sharp breath.

“How do you know this? Were you at my home?” He was not angry or irritated at the thought of her going to his house without telling him, in that moment he was simply worried.

“You left your textbook in the library, I went to your home to give it to you. I’m sorry.” For some reason, she was feeling guilty. As if what she had seen, what she had find out, was somehow her fault.

“What did you see?”

Kala didn’t know what to say, how could she tell her friend his mother was a victim of abuse? Perhaps his mother was trying to cover her bruises as they spoke, perhaps his mother didn’t want his son to know.

Her silence, however, told Wolfgang everything he needed to know.

“Kala, I’m sorry of whatever you had to see. It’s nothing you should worry about and please, do not speak about this with anyone else.” His low voice made her look at him, realization dawned on her.

“You know? About… your mother?” “Of course I know Kala, I live in that house.” She spoke to him with a slight judgement in her words that he did not appreciate.

“And you won’t do anything?!” She accused him in a high-pitched voice.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do?” Wolfgang’s control slipped away from him and he snapped at her.

“Anything! Go to the police or tell the school or even your family!” Kala had never seen violence in her life, had no idea of all the shades of a situation like this. It seemed all so easy for her.

And he laughed humorlessly at her naivety.

“We would both be dead if I did. You don’t know what that man is capable of.”

“Y-Your father?” It was the first time she had thought of the abuser and she felt her stomach turning.

“Yes. My father.” He sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

She didn’t know what to say; not a word of comfort or advice came to her mind, she could feel how this situation was slowly killing him inside by simply staring at his emotionless eyes and all she could do was suffer with him for something they didn’t know how to fix.

The cold Autumn air was the only sound they could hear, silence the only thing they could give each other at the moment. Until it was all too much for Kala and she hugged Wolfgang, throwing herself at him.  It took him completely by surprise at first, not used to spontaneous displays of affection. Then, slowly, he put his arms around her back, accepting the comfort she was trying to give him.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She was crying by then, her arms were around his neck and she buried her face into it.

He closed his eyes tightly at the sound of her warm caring voice, a sudden flow of feelings overwhelmed him; all the rage towards his father, the pain at seeing his mother being treated so unfairly, the exasperation of not being able to do anything — of feeling _useless_.

For the first time, Wolfgang felt free to feel all these repressed emotions he had so carefully tried to control and so, he cried. He cried and his tears fell down on her hair, while his arms tightened around her and he shook slightly.

“Crying is for bitches.” that’s what his father always told him but in that moment he didn’t care. In that moment, with Kala’s presence, he simply stopped trying to fight and to pretend.

They stayed like that for seconds, minutes, hours; they didn’t know.

“I should go.” He gently pushed her away from his body, quickly wiping his tears-stricken eyes.

“Yes, you should.” Kala did the same and straightened her back.

And their shared moment of intimacy ended just as quickly as it had begun.

“Thank you Kala. And please, do not-” she interrupted him. “I won’t. Don’t worry.”

Wolfgang nodded at her and said quietly, “Everything will turn out alright. I know.”

He walked away then and Kala stared at his back for a long time.

 

After that night their relationship inevitably changed, they talked more without all the childish teasing and actually started to appreciate each other’s company, finding out they had more thing in common than previously thought. But, even though their emotional hug was the beginning of it all, they never talked about it or Wolfgang’s life at home.

And their silent understanding lasted until Sofia’s death, two months later.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... after two months Kala and Wolfgang finally start to tolerate (like?) each other. Thank you as always for your comments!


	5. December 2000

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wolfgang and Felix invite Kala to play football with them, but the weather has other plans and they found themselves having dinner with the Dandekars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THE WAIT! But I made this chapter extra long to apologize! I hope you will like it.

“STOP STEALING MY THINGS!”

The loud voice resonated through the small apartment, successfully ruining Sanyam Dandekar’s Sunday afternoon.

“Sanyam, go tell them something.” his wife Priya said, she had a brand new book in her hands and had no intention to put it down to mediate another one of their daughters’ fights. 

At only ten and twelve years old, Daya and Kala Dandekar constantly fought over the silliest of things, making their parents dread their upcoming teenage years.  He grunted, already annoyed, but made no move to get up from his armchair or even open his eyes.

“WELL I WOULDN’T HAVE TO IF YOU JUST STOPPED BEING SO SELFISH AND LET ME BORROW THEM.” Another scream.   “Sanyam.” A warning voice.

“I’m sleeping.” Sanyam pointed at his closed eyes and before Priya could raise her voice as well, their youngest daughter came running into the living room.

“Could you please tell you  _ GREEDY  _ daughter that  _ SHARING THINGS  _ is one of the most  _ IMPORTANT  _ things of sisterhood?!” Little Daya put emphasis on the most important words and raised her voice even louder.

“ME?! GREEDY?! YOU LOSE EVERYTHING I LET YOU BORROW!” Kala, however, was way too angry to keep her voice low as she usually did.  The two sisters started screaming at each other, not even hearing their parents telling them to lower their voices. So, Sanyam screamed louder than them.

Kala and Daya immediately looked at their father as if he had lost his mind, while their mother covered her mouth to stifle a giggle.

“Not nice, right?  When people scream like banshees?” He sat more comfortably in his armchair and made a gesture for them to start talking, “Explain.”

Kala took a deep breath and started talking incredibly fast, “She accuses me of being selfish just because I get angry at her for stealing, when I’ve  _ always _ let her borrow my things before she started losing them.”

“One thing,” Daya gestured with her finger, “I lost one thing.”

“ _ Four. _ ” her older sister glared at her.

Sanyam rolled his eyes and shared a glance with Priya, “What is the object of the discord now?”

“Kala’s cherry lipgloss.” answered Daya.

Their mother’s eyes widen in shock, “You’re too young to use makeup!”

“Thank you, Mama.” Kala smiled smugly at her sister.  “Both of you are!” Priya specified, Kala’s face changed and it was Daya’s turn to smile.

“Mama, I’m twelve! And it’s only lipgloss! Please!” She complained and pouted.

Her mother shook her head slightly and frowned, “What do you even need it for?”

Kala was about to say something about liking the sweet fruity smell when the doorbell rang. " I will get it.” Sanyam stood up quicker than normal, eager to be momentarily free of his daughters’ bickering.  He opened the apartment’s door and two young boys stood in front of him; their blue eyes’ widened almost comically, clearly not expecting to see him.

The shortest one elbowed his friend to make him speak in his place and the boy glared at him, but, after gulping, looked at Sanyam and spoke.

“Good afternoon Sir., we are Kala’s friends. My name is Wolfgang and he is Felix.” Wolfgang held his hand out to properly introduce himself.

Felix did the same and Sanyam shook both his hands.

“Hello, I’m Sanyam Dandekar. Kala’s father -”  Before he could say anything else, his youngest daughter arrived and looked at the boys up and down, “Who are you?”

Wolfgang and Felix quickly looked at each other, surprised at the little girl’s blunt question.

“We are friends of Kala. You must be her sister.” Wolfgang answered slowly. Kala had spoken a few times about her younger sister Daya, but most of the times it was only to complain about her.

“Yes.” Daya rolled her eyes at this, suddenly remembering her annoyance towards her sibling.  “KALA COME AT THE DOOR, YOUR BOYFRIENDS ARE HERE.” She glanced at them one more time and left.

Kala arrived at the door running and looked at her father, “They are not my boyfriends! None of them.” 

She was blushing furiously and Sanyam laughed. “I know, darling.”

Kala then looked at her friends and smiled slightly, tucking her hair behind her ear.  “What are you doing here?”

“We’re going to play football at the field near Felix’s house. Do you want to come?” Wolfgang said and then immediately looked at Sanyam, “with your permission, Sir. Of course.”

Kala tried not to giggle at her friends’ evident nervousness caused by her father’s presence.

“There is no problem for me but I doubt my daughter knows how to play football. She has never been a fan of sports.” Sanyam looked at her fondly, remembering all the times he had tried to play any kind of game during her childhood.

“Yeah she sucks but -” Felix started saying before Kala interrupted him.

“Yes, I do want to go. Thank you.” She narrowed her eyes at her friend and went back inside the house to get her coat.

“Would you like to come in and eat something?” Sanyam asked them, trying to make them more comfortable.

Both boys shook their hands and said, at the same time, “No. Thank you.”

Fortunately for them, Kala came running back almost immediately, “I told Mom I was going out, didn’t say where.”

“Don’t worry, dear. Come back before it’s dark, alright?” Sanyam softly kissed her forehead and smiled at Wolfgang and Felix. “It was nice meeting you, boys.”

“For us too.” Wolfgang answered for both of them and quickly left with Kala and Felix.

 

Once they were outside, Kala shivered in the cold December air and immediately regretted her choice.

“What sane person decides to play football in this weather?” She pulled her scarf more tightly around her neck and linked her arms with the boys.

“It’s not that cold.” Wolfgang shrugged, he could see his breath coming out of his mouth and, if he listened carefully, he could hear Felix’s teeth chattering from the cold.

“Give it time and you will warm up.” Felix told her. Neither him or Wolfgang would ever admit of having had a terrible idea.  Kala rolled her eyes, she was used to her friends’ poorly thought ideas by then.

“So, are you playing against Ismail and his friends again?” she asked.  For the past weeks, Wolfgang and Felix had been spending more time with their friend Ismail and his new group of friends. There weren’t many of them but still they managed to have fun together — when they weren't fighting each other for ridiculous things.

Unfortunately for Kala they were all boys and, even though they always invited her and even tried to teach her how to play, she felt like a fish out of water most of the times. She felt truly comfortable only around Felix and Wolfgang.

“Yes! Can’t wait to beat their asses this time. If we get Will on our team, we might have a chance.” Felix said, his voice was filled with annoyance; he was sure Ismail purposely teamed him and Wolfgang with the worst players just to see them lose, he had been vocal about the matter a few times but only got an irritating laugh from him.

“Will is not the best player, Ismail is.” Wolfgang said matter-of-factly.

Kala pursed her lips and nodded slowly, “I agree with Wolfgang on this. I do believe you just want to become Will’s friend because he has a PlayStation 2.”

“That’s exactly what he is doing.” Wolfgang stifled a laugh.

Felix snorted indignantly and unliked his arm from Kala’s; “I am  _ not  _ doing that. Will is cool.” he frowned and crossed his arms, “Even though, having a PlayStation 2 does make him cooler than both of you losers.” He said laughing.

The trio soon stopped walking when a few raindrops fell on their faces, they shared a glance but the loud sound of thunder startled them before they could say anything.

In less than three minutes, cold rain started falling intensely, hitting them hard on their faces.

“Sudden downpours are the best part of living in Berlin.” Kala said with an hint of sarcasm while she covered her hair with her scarf.

The three young friends started looking around, trying to find a shelter. 

“Come on, let’s go there.” Wolfgang pointed at the awning roof of a nearby grocery store, it was small but big enough to cover all three of them. They started running towards it and only when they were under it, Kala and Wolfgang realized their arms were still linked. They quickly distanced themselves and blushed, ignoring each other’s eyes.

“What now?” Felix looked at the rain in front of him, it clearly didn’t look like it was stopping soon.

“I doubt you can play now, unless you want to catch a cold.” Kala, unlike the boys, had a low tolerance for cold weather and was already looking forward to the hot tea that was waiting for her back at home.

Wolfgang stayed in silence while Felix snorted in resignation, “How do we tell the others?”

“I don’t think they’re at the field waiting for us, Felix.” Wolfgang rolled his eyes.

“I don’t want to go home.” Felix whispered softly and leaned his back against the store’s wall.

They stayed in silence for a few seconds, staring at the incessant downpour. Puddles began to form as the rainfall became heavier and thunders could still be heard regularly.

“We could go back to my home, if you want.” Kala turned her back to get a better look at Felix and saw him taking a deep breath.

“Hey! My family is probably less intimidating than both of yours.” She frowned and crossed her arms. She hadn't met Felix's family but the way he talked about them made her believe they were slightly better than Wolfgang's. _Slightly better._

Wolfgang and Felix looked at each other and shrugged.

“Better than going back home I guess.” Wolfgang told her.

“We should wait for the rain to calm a lit-” 

“LAST ONE TO ARRIVE WILL DO EVERYONE’S HOMEWORK FOR A WEEK” Felix started running back towards Kala’s home, not caring about possibly slipping on the wet sidewalk or getting completely soaked.

“How old is he again?” Kala looked at Wolfgang and he shrugged.

“You better start running Dandekar, we both know who is the slowest of the three of us.” He smirked at her and started running as well.

She just smiled and shook her head fondly at the two boys’ before joining them, paying more attention than them to the dangerous slippery street.

 

The warmth of the Dandekar’s apartment mixed with the smell of spices coming from the kitchen made Wolfgang and Felix take a deep breath of relief, enjoying the kind ambience of the house.

“Oh! You’re completely wet!” Kala’s mother got closer to her and put her left hand on her head to feel her temperature.  “Do you feel alright?” 

“Yes, Mama. Can you give me and my friends some towels and blankets?” Kala was already taking off her soaked coat and scarf.

Wolfgang and Felix, however, just stood behind her unsure what to do.

“Your friends?” In that moment, Priya noticed the two boys and raised her eyebrows.

“Felix” Kala pointed at him to introduce him, “and Wolfgang.” she made a gesture for them to get closer.

“H-Hello. A pleasure to meet her.” Felix shivered. 

“The pleasure is mine. Come, you’re making a mess on the floor.” Priya replied with a tight smile and made them follow her to the bathroom.

After being dry enough, the three friends went back to the living room and sat on the couch.

“My father will probably invite you to stay for dinner, feel free to say no.” Kala said.

Right after she told them so, Sanyam came out of the kitchen with a smile on his face. “Nice seeing you again so soon.”

Wolfgang and Felix straightened their backs and greeted him. 

“Would you like to stay for dinner? I’m making Aloo Gobi.” 

“Butter chicken.” Kala whispered to her friends.  The boys looked at each other and nodded, takingh her by surprise.

“Great! Do you want me to call your parents and tell them you’re staying?” Sanyam asked them, wiping his hands on his apron.

“No, thank you.” They both shook their heads, “We already told them we weren’t having dinner at home.” Wolfgang quickly answered.

Sanyam looked at Kala, not really convinced, but she just nooded and he didn’t say anything else.

Less than two hours later, they were all sitting on the kitchen table; Sanyam and Priya were sitting at both ends of the table with Kala and Daya sitting on one side and Wolfgang and Felix on the other.

At first, when they hadn’t had their first dish yet, Wolfgang and Felix were more shy than usual; neither of their families were ideal for nice and quiet meals hence they never invited each other to stay for dinner or lunch.

After the first taste of Sanyam’s delicious food, though, things changed and they visibly relaxed  —  especially Felix that took one spoonful of rice after the other, much to the Dandekars’ amusement.

“This is incredible, Mr. Dandekar” Felix complimented him with his mouth full of food and Wolfgang glared at him.

“Thank you Felix.” Sanyam replied with a tiny smile on his face.  Felix Berner’s special charm had worked instantly with Wolfgang’s mother and it seemed to have the same effect with Sanyam.

“Do you have many classes with my daughter?” Priya suddenly asked the boys, curious to know more about this unlikely friendship. Kala had mentioned in the previous weeks her new friends but had never said anything else other than there were two of them and she enjoyed their company very much.

“Yes. She helps us a lot, she’s very smart.” Felix grinned and Kala blushed as she often did when someone praised her.

“Yes, she is.” Priya nodded proudly. 

Daya rolled her eyes at his and started asking them questions of her own.

“I introduced myself to her during English class and then introduced her to Wolfgang,” Felix answered when she asked him how they met, “Actually, at first, they  _ really  _ hated each other and Wolfie was a little shit to her-”

Priya immediately looked at Wolfgang and he elbowed him hard.

“B-But then they become great friends too.” Felix laughed nervously, trying to ease the tension.

Sanyam quickly changed the topic, “What about your families? Do you have any siblings?”

Kala sighed, thinking about how her father couldn’t possibly had chosen a worst question.

“No, we’re both only children.” Wolfgang took a big gulp of water and stared at his plate, feeling uncomfortable again.

“And you’re parents? Are they still married?” Kala was wrong. Her mother definitely chose the worst question.

“Yes, yes they are.” 

After this, they all stayed in silence and Sanyam and Priya looked at each other; silently agreeing that perhaps they had asked too many questions.

However, it was really important for Kala to make the boys feel comfortable and they started talking about Daya’s passion for animals, their favorite movies, the Dandekar’s Restaurant in Mitte and, thanks to Sanyam, Kala’s musical talent.

“You like to sing?” Felix looked genuinely surprised, “You never sing with me!”

Daya laughed and put an arm around her sister’s shoulders, “She sings only under the shower or when she thinks we can’t hear her.”

He opened his mouth, still in shock, and lightly shoved Wolfgang.

“This one too!” he pointed at his friend with his thumb, “I can’t believe they just let me sing alone! That’s not cool!”

Wolfgang and Kala looked at each other incredibly embarrassed and laughed softly.

“Seeing you making a silly fool of yourself is definitely more fun.” Kala teased him.

He wasn’t  _ particularly good  _ at singing but he enjoyed it and didn’t care much about it; “Worse than a fucking bird’s screech at six in the morning.” is how Wolfgang had described his voice once.

“I bet I’m better than both of you.” He narrowed his eyes defensively.

Sanyam shrugged amused, “I don’t know about him but Kala is very good. I tried to make her audition for her school’s talent show back in Frankfurt but she didn’t want to.”

Felix’s eyes suddenly sparkled with excitement.  “There is a singing contest at the end of the year! We could all partecipate!”

Wolfgang and Kala were terrified by the mere idea of singing in front of the entire school and both refused immediately.

“You’re absolutely no fun, I don’t know why we’re still friends.” Their friend pouted dramatically.

“Because we prevent you from breaking your neck while doing dumb stuff or getting arrested for vandalism.” Wolfgang said casually.

“That’s what good friends do.” Sanyam laughed and moved his hand to ruffle Wolfgang’s hair; just as he raised his hand the young boy moved his head instinctively, as if dodging a slap.

Just as fast as it had happened, Wolfgang straightened his back and smiled nervously. The room fell silent once again and Wolfgang found himself under a spotlight. 

Sanyam and Priya shared a worried look, while Kala and Felix just couldn’t hide the pity in their eyes. 

Wolfgang couldn’t stand it; couldn’t stand feeling the center of the attention, couldn’t stand the pity, couldn’t stand feeling as if there was something wrong with  _ him _ . He abruptly stood up and excused himself.

Wolfgang hurried to the bathroom and once inside he locked himself in; he turned on the tap and splashed cold water on his face.

_ One, two, three _

His eyes were closed tightly.

_ Four, five, six _

His hands were clenched so hard his nails were starting to hurt the palms.

_ Seven, eight, nine _

He leaned on the wall, slowly falling down on the floor.

_ Ten, eleven, twelve _

He kept counting in his head, trying to take deep long breaths.

_ Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen _

He slowly rested his head on his bended knees, opened his eyes and stared at the dark green tiles in front of him.

Minutes passed, he didn’t know exactly how many, but he could hear the low murmurs and the soft clanking of the dishes from the other side of the door.

Out of the sudden, someone knocked.

“Wo-Wolfgang? We are about to serve the dessert.” He didn’t reply and Kala kept talking. “Chocolate cheesecake, your favorite.” Nothing. “Please?”

Her sweet voice was filled with worry and sympathy. He stood up and slowly opened the door.

Kala smiled to him and held out her hand, “It’s quite big so we can all have two slices!”

She didn’t say anything else; didn’t ask him how he was feeling, didn’t pressure him with questions or demanded he talked to her, she knew him well enough already to know he shared his feelings only when he felt truly comfortable.

By the time they reached the kitchen table, Priya had cut the cake and Felix and Daya were eagerly waiting their pieces.

They sat and no one mentioned what had previously happened; Felix looked at him, a silent question in his eyes, and Wolfgang merely gave his friend a small smile to reassure him everything was fine.

Soon, they started eating the cake and a collective sigh of pleasure came out of their mouths.

“This is incredible Priya, you outdid yourself as always.” Sanyam complimented his wife and, flattered, she thanked him.

“Chocolate cheesecake is Wolfie’s favorite!” Felix exclaimed between bites.

“Oh really? What a nice coincidence.” Priya said cordially.

Wolfgang was enjoying it as much as everyone else, so much that he didn’t realize he had a small smear of chocolate right on the left corner of his mouth. Kala subtly pointed it to him and he tried to wipe it on the wrong side.

“Other side.” She giggled softly and murmured.

Wolfgang’s cheeks reddened and he embarrassedly wiped his mouth again.

Their amused glances went unnoticed by Kala’s family but not to Felix; he simply shocked his head affectionately and pretended he hadn’t seen anything.

 

Not long after they finished their dinner, Wolfgang and Felix found themselves on the backseat of Sanyam’s car. They had tried to leave alone but he wouldn’t hear about it, mentioning the late hour and his responsibility towards their parents to safely bring them home. 

“I insist.” He had said with a final tone, leaving them with no choice.

The drive to Felix’s house was full of excited chatter between the young Berner and Sanyam about his dreams as a future professional football player.

“Father says I could never make it but what does that old man know? I know I’ll be Germany’s shining star, just wait.” Felix’s eyes were shining with hope, already picturing his first World Cup in his head. "And he will regret his words when I'll be rich."

“Today’s dreams are tomorrow’s reality if you work hard enough, Felix.” Sanyam reassured him with a smile, “And you Wolfgang? What do you see in your future?”

Wolfgang always listened to his friend’s babble of the future but, even though he enjoyed playing football and was particularly skilled, he didn’t share the same passion and couldn’t see it as anything else than a game to pass the time.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged.

Sanyam nodded, understanding. “You’re so young, you still have plenty of time.”

When they arrived to Felix’s house, he thanked Sanyam for dinner and “being, like really cool,” before saying goodbye to his friend and getting out of the car.

Sanyam chuckled softly and asked Wolfgang his address.  The drive to his house was completely different, they fell into a comfortable silence and the only sound that could be heard was the music playing on the radio.  Wolfgang looked out of the window for the entire time and Sanyam glanced at him occasionally through his rearview mirror.

Before he realized it, they were outside his apartment’s building and the car’s engine was turned off.

“Thank you Mr. Dandekar, for dinner and the drive home.” He was already opening the car’s door, ready to get out.

“Wolfgang.” Sanyam softly interrupted him. “I would like to talk to you.”

The boy sat back and sighed, knowing exactly what he wanted to talk about.

“What happened during dinner…” 

He didn’t know how to approach the topic in the right way for Wolfgang to talk sincerely about it.

“Sir.” Wolfgang tried to interrupt him.

“I want you to know that I’m always here to help you. With anything, at any time of the day. Even if you just want to talk.” Sanyam turned on his seat to look at him directly in his eyes.

Wolfgang just stared at him, surprised that someone he had just met was showing so much concern and tenderness. Yes, he was his daughter’s friend but he knew only one other adult that ever showed genuine affection to him — his mother.

However, despite the deep admiration he was starting to feel towards the man, he didnt’t trust him yet.

“You’re a shit liar, Wolfie.” Felix had told him many times during the first months of their friendship; he had started to worry about this poor ability to hide his real thoughts, he had too many secrets to keep. So, he started paying attention to the best liar he knew: his grandfather Hassan.

Wolfgang didn’t visit the Old Bogdanow’s mansion often, but when he did, he tried to learn as much as he could. Hiding inside Hassan’s study, Wolfgang had listened to many business meetings.

He didn’t understand entirely what these meetings were about and, most of the times, German mixed smoothly with Russian and it was pointless for him to actually listen to the conversations.

Not that it mattered; his attention was entirely focused on his grandfather, his facial expression and gestures. All of Hassan’s thoughts and intentions were carefully protected, he showed only the slightest disappointment or anger to his business associates. His lips occasionally narrowed, his jaw tightened and his cold blue eyes pierced through them, making them feel guilty and scared about something they hadn't even done yet.

Business partners, trusted friends, family members  —  with everyone, Hassan Bogdanow put on a mask to prevent them from knowing what was truly on his mind. And when he spoke, his voice was steady and impassive; he could tell you the sky was green and you would have believed it without a doubt, that was how strongly he believed to his own words.

“My older cousin Steiner liked to play rough with me, we would imitate boxing matches and he would go to far.” Wolfgang said, imitating his grandfather as much as he could. It wasn’t a lie, everything he had said was true, but it wasn’t the truth Sanyam wanted.

“My father told him to stop after a while, but the reflexes stuck with me.” He kept staring at him, hoping he would believe it.

Sanyam sighed in resignation and slightly shook his head.  “I just hope you will remember what I told you, in any case.”

Wolfgang didn’t know what else to say, too scared he would accidentally let his feelings known.

“Thank you again, Mr. Dandekar.” He got out of the car and walked straight to his home.

He could feel Sanyam’s eyes on his back and forced himself not to look back.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be, finally, focused on Felix and his family (+ Kala and Wolfgang, of course). We might see Hassan soon, since I'm a big Bogdanow stan and I try to include them everywhere (except Steiner, he can choke).  
> I hope you liked this!


	6. January 2001

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix goes to Kala to ask for help and they find out more about each other.

It was no secret that Felix didn’t care much about school: every year, in fact, he did the bare minimum for most of the school year and then in the last two months he saved himself from having to repeat the year with barely decent grades. But things had quite changed since Kala entered his life. 

She was a responsible student, always doing homework before the due dates and her notebooks were filled with summaries of entire chapters from their school books; she was a perfectionist — never setting for anything less than the best grades.   
Kala Dandekar genuinely enjoyed studying and was always eager to learn. As if it wasn’t enough, she was a good teacher, always being able to explain most school subjects effortlessly and in a way he could easily understand.  
And that’s why he was in front of her family’s apartment door two days before their Maths test.

“Oh. It’s you.” Daya told him when she opened the door.  
“Yes. Always lovely to see you Daya. Is your sister at home?” Felix grinned.   
In the past month, him and Wolfgang had spent more time at the Dandekar’s, enjoying Sanyam’s company and their friend’s constant bickering with her sister. Priya still wasn’t entirely convinced about her daughter’s friendship with them but still, didn’t openly show her disapproval.  
“Does Kala even know you’re here?” Daya moved from the door so he could enter and glanced at him suspiciously.  
Felix shrugged and started walking towards their room, “She knows we have a test on Monday.”  
“She isn’t feeli-” she tried to tell him before he shut the bedroom door in her face.  
“Open the door before my mom comes home and has an heart attack.” A muffled voice came from under the heavy duvet.  
“Why are you still in bed? It’s almost three in the afternoon.” Felix completely ignored her words of warning and sat at the foot of her bed.   
Kala shared her room with Daya; her walls on her side of the room were covered with photos of her family during their yearly vacations in Mumbai and magazines’ clippings of all the parts of the world she hoped she could see one day; a stark contrast to Daya’s shelves filled with stuffed animals of all kinds and dolls; however in the middle of the room, the neutral side as they called it, the walls were completely covered with posters of their favorite Bollywood movies and actors.  
“Why are you here?” Kala’s head and body were hidden by the duvet but Felix could notice she was curled up, holding a pillow.  
“Are you sick?”   
“No.”  
“You sound sick.”  
“I am not.”  
“I think you are.”  
Kala was about to snap at him when suddenly a cramp hit her and she grunted loudly.  
“Tell me what it is Kaly, maybe I had it too and can help you.” He was getting worried and he moved closer to her.  
She laughed humorlessly and moved the blankets to look at him. “Thank you but I doubt you ever felt this kind of pain, Felix.”  
Felix was even more curious and confused than before, he had no idea what could be wrong with her.  
“You know, the pain that comes once a month.” Kala stared at him, waiting for him to come to the conclusion on his own, but when she realized that wasn’t going to happen she murmured sheepishly, “Period cramps.”  
It took him a few seconds to understand what she had just said and when realization dawned on him, his eyes widen and he moved further from her.  
She let out a hearty laugh at his reaction and shook her head, “It’s not contagious!”  
“I know!” Felix frowned, offended. And got closer to her once again to prove a point.  
Kala rolled her eyes, sat straight on her bed and carefully laid an heating pad on her lower stomach.  
“What’s that for?” Felix asked.  
“It eases the pain.” She said through gritted teeth, it was her first day of menstrual cycle and the pain was intense.  
“Is there anything I can do to help?” He smiled softly at her and touched her hand.  
“Not really. Aren’t you…” Kala sighed and blushed furiously. “Aren’t you grossed out?”  
“No. Should I be?” Felix simply looked at her, wondering why she was so embarrassed.  
“Most guys are. They pretend it doesn’t exist, that’s why we girls never talk about it.”   
He shrugged and gave her a charming smile, “Most guys suck.”  
Kala didn’t know what to say, too shocked of his answer. She knew Felix Berner wasn’t like the other boys she had the misfortune to meet, but was always pleasantly surprised when he remembered her of it. “You’re right.”  
“I will go so you can rest.” He got up from her bed but she stopped him before he could leave the room, asking him to keep her company and distract her from the pain.

Kala’s moved her legs to give him enough space to laid down on her small bed.  
“Tell me about your family. I don’t even know their names.”  
Felix’s mood changed abruptly and he leaned his head on Kala’s soft blankets.  
“They’re not like Wolfgang’s. If that’s what you’re wondering.”  
“I didn’t think they were.”  
“But they’re not like yours either.”   
Kala knew her friends were growing fonder of her family, she had noticed they had started spending more time at her house after school than at any other place and she constantly thought about how they were both trying to avoid their own families as much as possible.  
“How are they?” She asked, ready to listen to him.  
He took a deep breath.  
“My mother is named Julia. My father, Peter. She is an architect, he works for an insurance company.” He explained in a flat voice, as if he were talking about two complete strangers, showing absolutely no interest in his parents’ jobs or lives.  
“Tell me something more interesting! What are they favorite movies? What do you do together?”  
“I don’t know. We don’t talk much.” Felix sighed again, realizing once again that he didn’t know his parents at all. “I always go to the movies with my Uncle Alex when he has days off from work.”  
She smiled and immediately noticed how his voice changed when he mentioned his uncle.  
“Do you spend a lot of time with him?”  
Felix nodded, “He’s only 28 years old and works a lot but always try to find time for me. That’s more than I can say about my parents.” he said with an hint of irritation.  
“Not only they’re always working but when they’re not, they drop me at my Uncle’s house to go on holidays and save their marriage.” He felt suddenly tired and turned face down on her bed.  
“Save their marria-?” Kala asked through gritted teeth when the cramps hit her again.  
“Yes, I overheard Father accuse her of being an “unfaithful whore” more than once.” Felix said so casually that Kala let out an horrified gasp .  
“A- And you never asked if it’s true?” She couldn’t even imagine her father saying something like that.  
“He seems sure of it when he says it but then everything is forgotten when they come back from wherever they went. Or at least, they like to pretend everything is fine.” His eyes were slowly closing and Kala slapped him on the shoulder.  
“Don’t fall asleep!”  
“I really don’t want to talk about them anymore.” He grunted.  
She didn’t insist. Never one to pressure her friends, she preferred to make them feel comfortable and wait for them to open up, whenever they wanted.   
Not that she needed to know anything else; she understood her friend’s feelings by simply listening his voice and noticing his body language. There were no signs that he actually cared about his parents’ failing marriage, an indifference filled with resentment as the result of years of negligence.   
“Why are you here Felix?”   
“To study.” He mumbled.  
“For the Maths test? I don’t think I can help you right now.” Kala checked the time again; her mother had gone out about thirty minutes before to buy her medicine to ease her pain and she was impatiently waiting for her.  
“Yeah, yeah I know. Don’t worry.”  
“Why isn’t Wolfgang here as well?”   
He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.  
“I told him to come but he said he wanted to spend the day with his mother.”  
“Oh.” Kala said with the slightest hint of disappointment. She tried not to focus much on that feeling; she saw him every day at school and after as well, spending more time with him and Felix than with everyone else, but she couldn’t help to miss him when he wasn’t there.  
“He told me you met Sofia.”   
“Do you call her Sofia?” She narrowed her eyes at Felix’s informality.  
“She insisted!” Felix rolled his eyes, justifying himself.  
Kala chuckled softly and nodded, “I saw her once.”  
“She is nice, isn’t she?” There it was again: the affection that filled his voice every time he talked about someone he cared about.  
“Yes, she seems like a really great woman.”   
They stayed quiet for a while, not sure about what the other knew; two weeks before Wolfgang had gone to school with a dark purple bruise on his left cheek and explained how Anton had exaggerated with Vodka again, he had casually said so in front of Kala, surprising Felix.   
Wolfgang only told him Kala met his mother when she went to his home to give him a book, nothing else, and he wondered if she knew about how Anton unleashed his drunk anger on Sofia as well.

“You’ve known Wolfgang for only a year, right?” She suddenly asked Felix.  
“Yes.”  
“It’s shocking to see how much you two care so much about each other already.”  
“Shocking? Why?”   
Kala shrugged. “You love each other as brothers, I never had that with a friend.”  
She explained it to him then; explained how she had good friends in Frankfurt, friends that still occasionally called her, friends with whom she had fun and had some things in common but never felt close to, she never felt comfortable enough to talk about her faith, her culture or her dreams. The more she thought about it, the more she realized they were acquaintances — nothing less and nothing more.  
“Do you feel the same way with us?” Felix hesitated to ask, as if he was scared of her answer.  
No. No she didn’t. In the past four months she had grown to care about them more than she had ever cared about her childhood friends. With them, she felt listened to and genuinely liked. But she wasn’t ready to let them know that yet.  
“No, you’re cooler.” Kala smiled softly at him and ruffled his hair affectionately.  
The sound of the apartment’s door closing startled them and Kala pushed him.  
“Open the door before my mom sees it’s closed!” She harshly whispered to him.  
“Alright, alright.” Felix lazily got up the bed and walked toward her bedroom’s door. “Damn, you go from Sweet Kitten to Feracious Tiger in less than one minute.”  
“Shut up.”   
He opened the door just in time to see Priya getting closer with a plastic bag and a glass in her hands.  
“Good afternoon Mrs. Dandekar.”   
Priya looked at him, clearly surprised, and moved her head slightly to check if Wolfgang was behind him.  
“Good afternoon Felix. When did you arrive?” She asked, not pleased to know her daughter had friends over without asking first.  
“Just got here! Came to pick up some notes for a test we have on Monday. Kala’s notes are much more organized than mine.” He grinned and entered the room again.  
“They’re on my desk.” Kala pointed at a green notebook and smiled at him.   
She mouthed a “thank you” and he winked at her.  
“Thank you Kala, I will bring this back tomorrow so you can revise them before the test.”  
Felix said goodbye to everyone and quickly ran away from any more of Priya’s questions.

“I brought you Brufen as you asked, darling.” Priya walked closer to Kala and handed the medicine tablet to her with a glass of water.  
“Thank you Mama.” She swallowed the pill and closed her eyes, hoping she would feel better when she woke up.  
“So,” Priya started talking again, interrupting Kala’s plan of rest, “Felix was here. Again.”  
“Mama, don’t start, please.” Kala sighed deeply.  
“You spend a lot of time with these boys, that’s all.” She said matter-of-factly, trying to look as innocent as possible.  
Kala stopped herself from rolling her eyes at her mother’s behavior — for the past month, Priya had constantly made subtle remarks about her particular friendship with Wolfgang and Felix, casually reminding her about how she had told them about her friends in Frankfurt and their boyfriends.   
No matter how many times Kala or Sanyam pointed out her daughter’s young age and lack of interest in such romantic notions, Priya was sure there was something more than simple platonic fondness in her friendship with them. Sometimes she implied Kala liked Wolfgang; others, that it was Felix the one she actually was interested in; it depended on whoever smiled at her daughter more often on that day.  
“Mama, I know it’s hard for you to believe but, for the umpteenth time, I don’t like any of my friends that way.”   
“Alright. I think it’s better this way, you’re way too young to think about such things. It’s not appropriate.” Priya shook her head, adjusting the blankets on Kala’s bed, tucking her in.  
“You don’t believe me, though.”   
“I believe you,” she softly kissed her head, “but I still believe one of them has a tiny little crush on you.”  
“Mama!” Kala grunted, annoyed, and couldn’t help but blush.  
“Rest, Pyari Beti. I’ll wake you up when dinner is ready.”   
Priya left the room, closing the door behind her, leaving Kala to her own thoughts and soon, she fell asleep.

The day after was slightly better for the young girl; she woke up at half past ten, had a late breakfast with her favorite cereal and a cup of tea, then she decided to spend some time with her sister and invited her to watch a movie with her in the living room.   
It was just a regular Sunday at the end of January, where nothing was meant to happen and the harsh cold weather prevented her from leaving the house. She was simply waiting for Felix to come to her house and give her back her notebook as he had said he would.  
But hours passed and there was no sign of him; she started feeling slightly uneasy and a little voice inside her head started screaming that something wasn’t right.  
After lunch, she went back to her room, picked up a book and started reading to distract herself.   
Three, four, five in the afternoon and she wasn’t feeling any better; the more she looked at the clock and stared at the icy streets outside her window, the more she felt her stomach tightening with nerves.  
Finally, at seven, the house’s phone rang and she ran towards it, ready to scold her friend about his irresponsibility.  
“You were supposed to bring me back my notes earlier! How I am supposed to study at this hour? And where are you? Seriously, Felix I -” She was ranting, as she often did, and didn’t give him the chance to even start speaking.  
“Kala.” He almost shouted, loud enough to make her stop talking.  
She felt her blood suddenly turn into ice and her heart started pounding faster than ever before; never, in these four months, had Felix spoken in such way, his voice was thick with emotion and she could hear him gulping in an attempt to stop crying.  
“Felix. W-What happened?” Kala asked in a breathless whisper.  
“Wolfie” Felix continued sobbing, not being able to stop, “Wolf-”  
Kala’s hands started to shake, she felt as if the ground was disappearing beneath her feet and her head felt heavy. That’s it. That’s what the tiny voice inside her head had warned her about all day.  
“Calm down Felix. Take a deep breath.” She took one herself, “What happened to Wolfgang?”  
“Sofia.” He continued weeping, “She is dead.”

The phone slipped from Kala’s hands, hitting the floor with a loud thud; she could feel her chest slowly burning, the air felt thick in the room as she struggled to breath; tears blurred her vision and her father’s worried questions sounded like a distant buzz.  
She had only one thought in her mind: run to Wolfgang, wherever he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Wolfgang, sorry! But I hope you liked it anyway.   
> One more chapter and then the first part is done, there is going to be a time jump and we will see our kids during their teenage years!   
> Wolfgang's mom IS dead but I will definitely write some flashbacks in future chapters!


	7. February - October 2001

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Sofia Bogdanow's death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! The last chapter of the first part of this story! I hope you like this.

Sofia Bogdanow’s funeral service was organized by Anton’s family at the beginning of February; his sister-in-law Elke had taken care of the guests, the priest and had ordered lush arrangements of flowers, all paid by Hassan Bogdanow in memory of his daughter-in-law; because even if they had never shown any kind of true affection to her in all her years of marriage to Anton, they had to appear as a close, loyal family in the eyes of their numerous enemies. Stranger after stranger went to her coffin and said their goodbyes, then proceeded to offer their deepest condolences to her young son with their best mourning expression on their faces.

 

“She hated roses. Called everyone who liked them a “living cliché”.” Wolfgang sneered. The funeral procession to the cemetery was led by the priest, walking right in front of the pallbearers holding the coffin and Wolfgang walked right behind it.

He had insisted on being accompanied by Felix and Kala, making his relatives curl their lips in disapproval －family members were supposed to be ahead of everyone else but he had simply taken his friends’ hands and pulled them close to him.

“And she hated pretty much everyone here.” He turned his head and glanced at the crowd of people behind them.

 

Anton was nowhere to be seen, he had arrived at the hospital after the doctors called him and no one had heard from him ever since they declared her death; “Fatal head injury” Wolfgang had heard them say and the strange look his uncle and grandfather shared was hard to miss. Wolfgang couldn’t lie and say he missed his father’s presence, he didn’t want him there and neither his mother would have.

 

“I’m sure she’s only worried about you right now.” Felix squeezed his arm and gave him a smile. He tried to give him one as well but only managed to slowly curl his lips.

 

After Felix’s call, Kala had begged her father to drive her to the hospital immediately; Sanyam had tried to dissuade her, thinking it was not appropriate to join the family’s mourning so quickly, but she managed to convince him after a number of threats, including stating she would have walked to the hospital on her own at nearly nine at night.

She had seen Felix outside the hospital’s main entrance, he had been standing alongside a young man that looked remarkably like him, and she had guessed he was his uncle. Together, they had entered the hospital and walked towards the hospital morgue; almost there they had been stopped by a nurse who had refused to let them go any farther. In that exact moment, Wolfang had appeared and they both run towards him, ignoring the nurse’s scolding. They had hugged him with an incredible force, holding him tightly － he had held them back just as fiercely, closing his eyes at the sudden relief he felt.

 

When the procession reached the cemetery, the priest performed a short graveside burial service and people once again approached Wolfgang and his family for their condolences.

He didn’t pay attention to any of them, his eyes were fixed on his mother’s coffin, he blinked slowly and his lips were tightly pressed together; for days he had done his best to keep himself from crying, his father’s harsh voice rumbled in his head reminding him that _crying was for bitches,_ and he had successfully managed to stop the tears from falling for most of the time. But in that moment, while he saw his mother being lowered into the ground, the knowledge that it was the last time he ever saw her suddenly hit him, breaking his heart in a million pieces once again. And he ran away.

 

His feet moved quickly, stepping on the brown frosted leaves on the ground, and he did not care where he went, he just wanted to get away from everyone else as fast as possible.

Only when he stopped to catch his breath he heard the footsteps behind him－he turned his head and found himself face to face with Kala.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, more brusque than he intended to be.

“I-I was worried about you.” Kala’s nerves were evident as she kept squeezing and clasping her hands.

Wolfgang took a deep breath and closed his eyes; he wanted to be alone, he wanted to tell her he didn’t need her or Felix’s constant pity － but he didn’t say any of these things and slowly sat down on the cold ground.

Kala moved closer to him, cautiously, and decided to sit next to him. She didn’t say anything else and waited for him to talk, if he wanted to.

She took the opportunity to stare at him and noticed he looked older; his boyish features were slowly fading away, the recent events had clearly hardened his face and she could already picture him as a young man in her head.

Kala quickly looked away when he opened his eyes to look at the trees; they were far away from the main entrance of the cemetery, all they saw around them were old untended graves that no one had visited in a long time and vegetation.

It was an unsettling place for Kala, the absence of any kind of noise or people made her shiver more than the cold weather did.

“You should have stayed with Felix.” Wolfgang told her.

“I didn’t want to. Besides, if I hadn’t come he would have.”

They stayed in silence once again for a few minutes, the only sounds were Wolfgang’s deep breathing and Kala’s chattering teeth.

“I think it’s going to snow again soon, or rain.” She casually pointed out and Wolfgang didn’t bother to stop his rude sneer.

“The weather? Seriously? That’s what you’re going to talk about?”

“At least I’m talking!” Kala’s eyebrow furrowed and her voice got higher, clearly not appreciating Wolfgang’s mocking.

“You decided to follow me here, I didn’t invite you to make small talk.” Kala’s face changed once again at his harsh words and he regretted his behavior immediately.

Wolfgang sighed and lightly placed his hand on her shoulder, “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I understand it’s a difficult time for -” She said while she shook her head.

“It is. But that doesn’t mean I should behave like a little shit with you and Felix.” He smiled softly at her and she did the same; the mood of the moment changed and they started talking about trivial things, successfully avoiding talking about the current situation for several minutes.

 

“Wolfgang…” Kala said after a while and looked at him straight in the eye. Her tone of voice was lower and warmer; he knew she was trying to find the courage to ask him something particularly important.

“Yes?”

“W-W-What happened to your mother?” She hesitated, not sure if he wanted to talk about it; no one had ever mentioned Sofia’s cause of death and she couldn’t deny her concerned curiosity.

“I don’t know.”  He answered, and then continued, “We spent all day together, we went to the Zoo and then we had lunch at McDonald’s,” he let out a short, sad laugh, “she didn’t like eating there but I convinced her.”

“We went home around five and she remembered we had to buy some ingredients for dinner while we were walking up the stairs. So I offered to go to the grocery store by myself and she gave me the money.” Wolfgang’s eyes were fixed on the ground, lost in the last memories he had of his mother. The more he talked about it, the more his voice changed as he tried to keep it as impassive as possible.

Kala laid a hand on his back and softly caressed it, encouraging him to keep going.

“When I went back home, not even an hour later, she wasn’t in the kitchen or her room.” he gulped, “I kept calling her name and she didn’t answer me.”

A cold breeze hit them suddenly and they used it as an excuse to get closer to each other.

“I walked towards the bathroom then, the door was open and I got in.” He felt a lump in his throat and coughed, trying to keep going, “She was in the middle of the floor, blood pooling under her head.” His voice finally broke and he closed his eyes tightly, to prevent the tears from falling.

Kala buried her face in his shoulder and wept uninhibitedly, her tears wetting his black coat.

When she heard him sniffing, she moved her head to look at him, and shyly murmured, “You can cry, Wolfgang.” He had cried in her presence once, and she wanted him to know he could do so again. All the times he needed to.

Wolfgang shook his head vigorously, his eyes still closed tightly.

 

Kala’s eyes moved to her hands then, her own memories coming back to her.

“When I was eight years old,” She whispered, as if she were telling him a secret, “my paternal grandfather passed away. He had a stroke. My grandmother called my father, desperate with grief, while we were in the middle of our lunch.”

Wolfgang’s head moved slightly towards her to listen more clearly, his eyes still closed.

“He got up and went to the bedroom. My mother followed him. I didn’t know what was happening, I just knew something bad had happen.” She took a deep breath, “I remember leaving Daya in the living room and tiptoeing to my parent’s bedroom. The door was slightly open and I looked inside.”

Kala bit her lower lip and tucked a curl behind her ear, “My father had just ended his call, he hugged my mother and burst out crying.”

“I had never seen my father cry before then.” The image was vivid in her head and she felt tears welling in her eyes once again, “He wasn’t ashamed. He loved his father deeply and grieved him deeply for months, years.”

She took Wolfgang’s hands, “He never hid his pain. And neither should you.”

He exhaled deeply; his hands in hers were trembling, from the cold and all the emotions he had been repressing for days, he opened his eyes and saw his grieving expression mirrored in hers.

Before he could stop, or even realize it, tears started falling down his cheeks. He cried quietly at first, silent sobs that he tried to muffle with his hands.

Kala moved his hands away from his mouth and hugged him, holding him closer to her.

That’s when he let himself let go; his sorrowful screams were silenced by her dark curls, his hands were on her back and he felt his body completely relax in her arms.

All his anger, helplessness and grief came out of him fiercely, the strength of his feelings shaking his body and Kala’s.

She gently stroked his hair and cried with him, her heart shriveled at seeing him so destroyed and felt incredibly powerless, she knew nothing that she could say or do could ease his pain. She just held him close to her, sharing his pain and letting him feel her presence.

 

An hour had passed when they went back to Sofia’s grave, most of the guests were already gone － except for Felix.

He was sitting on a bench when he saw them walking towards him, quickly got up and run towards Wolfgang.

“I don’t think there are enough words to tell you how sorry I am, brother.” Felix hugged him.

“I know, I know.” Wolfgang was grateful to have him there, with him, and hugged him just as tightly as he had hugged Kala.

“Hey. What do you say we go eat something?” Felix held Wolfgang’s face in his hands and he nodded, trying his best to smile for him.

“I say it’s a great idea.” Kala said behind them.

“McDonald’s?” Wolfgang suggested with a low voice, looking at both of them.

“Of course.”

And so they left, ignoring Wolfgang’s relatives and their shouts.

 

After their late lunch － or “afternoon snack” as Felix had called their full meal － the boys accompanied Kala home.

When they reached her building’s door she turned towards them and gave Felix a meaningful look that he only understood after she rolled her eyes, annoyed.

“Oh. Ok.” He said with a grin, distancing himself from them.

Wolfgang looked at her, confused, and she took his hand.

“I want you to have this.” She put something in his hand and closed it, “You’re not a believer but this has giving me strength many times. And I think you need it more than me right now.”

Wolfgang opened his hand; it was her favorite miniature statue of Lord Ganesha, it was made of resin and her Auntie had given it to her on her ninth birthday; she never took it outside her house, too scared to lose it or break it, and held it in her hands on the nights before an important event or when she felt particularly nervous.

“I can’t accept this Kala.” Wolfgang shook his head and tried to give it back to her.

“Please.”

“No. I can-”

“Alright then. I’m lending it to you, if someday I’ll need it you give it back, ok?” She smiled at him and put her hands on her coat’s pocket, preventing him from giving it back.

Wolfgang sighed and chuckled softly, “Ok.”

“Not to ruin whatever is going on over there but can we go? My ass is freezing.” Felix screamed at them and breathed into his hands to warm them up.

They both laughed at him and Kala quickly hugged Wolfgang for the last time.

She moved away from him then, a beautiful deep blush colouring her cheeks, and lightly shoved him,  “Go, I will see you tomorrow.”

Wolfgang gave her a grateful smile and ran towards Felix.

Kala stared at them as they walked away from her, a small smile appearing on her lips.

 

Months passed and seasons changed; school was about to end and the yearly singing contest was weeks away.

“WE SHOULD PARTICIPATE!” Felix yelled at her friends during their lunch break at school.

“I thought we had already talked about this months ago.” Wolfgang’s brows furrowed.

“Yes, we said No months ago.” Kala took a sip of water.

Felix rolled his eyes and whined, “Come on! I will never ask anything else from you ever again!”

Wolfgang laughed and shook his head.

“Please please please please please” He kept trying to convince them for a couple of minutes until Wolfgang had an idea.

“Let’s do something: If you manage to get a 3 on your next Maths test, we will participate.”

“Really?!” Felix replied excitedly.

“... Really?” Kala wasn’t quite convinced by his plan.

“Yes.” He grinned, confident.

“Deal!” Wolfgang and Felix shook their hands while Kala took a deep breath, already predicting the worst.

Her apprehension was justified; two weeks later Felix proudly showed them his test and they were forced to join the singing contest.

 

“I hate you so much Wolfgang Bogdanow.” Kala said after glancing at the crowd gathered in the school’s auditorium; her father was ready with a video camera in his hands and her mother was already shushing her sister.

“I can’t believe Felix made us do this and then gets the flu in fucking May.”

“I can’t believe you made that bet with him!” She slapped his arm.

He opened his mouth in shock, “How was I supposed to know he would get a good grade? It’s all your fault, you and your tutoring.”

“Shhh.” Kala pouted and paled when she saw the girl on the stage had finished singing.

“Kala Dandekar, it’s your turn.” The teacher informed her and motioned her towards the stage.

“Oh Ganesha.” She started clasping her hands as she often did when she was nervous.

“You will be great, don’t worry.” Wolfgang smiled at her and lightly pushed her to make her walk.

She checked again that her lovely yellow dress was stainless and moved towards the microphone.

Kala had chosen to sing Sunny by Bobby Hebb, her favorite version of the song, much to her parent’s surprise; she had always felt self-conscious about her Hindi because her cousins often teased her about her “weird” accent when she visited Mumbai －so, she had prefered to sing one of her favorite songs, a song she felt comfortable enough to sing in front of her parents and strangers.

As Wolfgang had said, she was amazing. Her voice was even better than he thought and he could see Felix grinning and encouraging her from the crowd.

At first, she kept her eyes closed and her hands behind her back but when she finally opened her eyes, she saw her family’s proud smiles and it gave her enough confidence to perform it the way she wanted.

Wolfgang looked at her fondly, amazed by her natural talent and touched by the meaning of the song; she sang the lyrics with such genuine emotion that he started feeling a sudden knot in the stomach and he immediately tried to ignore it.

When her song finished, her family and Felix immediately stood up and started clapping enthusiastically. She waved at them shyly and got off the stage.

“Your turn, Bogdanow!” She said as she high-fived him.

“You were great.” Wolfgang laughed and tried to focus on her face instead of his own nerves.

“Thank you.” Kala blushed and fixed her ponytail.

“Wolfg-” Their teacher tried to call him before he stopped her, “Yeah yeah I know.”

Wolfgang started walking towards the stage; his shoulders were hunched, tense and he smoothed out his white shirt with his hands.

“Hey.” Kala told him and he turned his head, looking at her over his shoulder, “Your mom would be proud.”

He gave her a tight-lipped smile and kept walking.

Wolfgang had mentioned the singing contest to his father － actually, Anton had demanded an explanation when he found the event’s leaflet on the kitchen table. He hadn’t said anything, just mocked him with a sneer of derision, and Wolfgang had thought he wouldn’t go.

The moment he saw him in the crowd, his blood froze and everything disappeared; he only saw his father in front of him looking at him sternly and everyone else suddenly disappeared; as much as he tried, he couldn’t remember the words of his song, his mind completely blank.

Nervously, he wiped the cold sweat off his face and gulped. He saw Anton getting up from his seat and was relieved to see him leave; before opening the door, however, he bursted out laughing. A loud, insulting laugh that echoed in all the room.

Wolfgang heard people’s shocked gasp and could feel their eyes on him, looking at him with a mix of pity and second-hand embarrassment.

Quickly, he left the stage and ran past Kala, who tried to stop him in vain.

Neither her or Felix saw him again until the very last day of school, when he arrived and greeted them as if nothing had happened; a small scar on his upper lip.

 

Things didn’t get better over the summer; it seemed as if Sofia’s absence was one more reason for Anton to abuse of his son, who tried to avoid him as much as he could.

Spending most of his days outside his house, Wolfgang went back to the apartment only to shower and sleep, successfully locking himself inside his room most of the time. And when he couldn’t, he tried to ignore his father, or fight him back.

After a particular hard beating, he met his friends at a nearby park and together they went to Felix’s house.

While Kala tended to his wounds in the bathroom, Felix brought them glasses of Wolfgang’s favorite iced tea.

“You can’t keep living like this Wolfie.” Felix told him with a slight shake of the head.

Wolfgang shrugged and winched when Kala pressed a wet cloth on his bruise.

“He’s right.” She sighed.

“He will get what he deserves sooner or later,” Wolfgang said with an impassive voice, “and he will pay for what he did to my mom. I know he will.”

Kala and Felix shared a concerned look, both thinking the same thing; he wasn’t just talking about the abuse.

Ever since Sofia had passed away, Wolfgang had made sudden remarks about Anton, hinting at his possible involvement in her death. However, he never explained what he was trying to say, and always changed the subject rather quickly.

“Can I stay here tonight?” He looked at Felix.

“Yeah, sure.” Felix nodded.

And just like that, he made them understand he was done talking about Anton.

 

“A brand new school year. Wow.” Felix entered the school on their first day with the same facial expression of a criminal walking towards the gallows.

“I’m actually quite excited to be back. I get bored so easily during the summer.” Kala said with a bright smile, holding her books tightly in her arms.

“Daaamn. You’re so weird.” He gave her a side-eye and she jokingly pushed him farther from her, making him bump into another student. “Her fault.” He mouthed to the annoyed girl and laughed when she glared at Kala.

Kala shook her head in disapproval and smiled sheepishly.

“Do you know where Wolfie is?” Felix asked while he looked around trying to find his friend.

She shrugged, “Maybe he’s late. You know he doesn’t like to get up in the morning.”

Felix furrowed his brows, worried; in the past months, they had been keeping a close eye on their friend, asking him subtly if he was alright, knowing that any direct question would make him uncomfortable and he wouldn’t make him want to share anything with them.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure he’s fine.” Kala tried to reassure his friends but she couldn’t deny being concerned herself.

Eventually, Wolfgang did arrive. He was fifteen minutes late and he missed his first class; not that he cared much, he took the chance to have a decent breakfast at the coffee house near the school －using the money he stole from Anton’s wallet after he had passed out on the couch.

When his friends asked the reason of his tardiness, he simply shrugged and blamed the bus’s lack of punctuality.

 

Wolfgang’s school year started in the worst way; constantly late, terrible grades, lack of focus during the lessons and general bad attitude towards everything related to school.

Felix and Kala had tried to help him, offering him a place to study and even waking him up in class before their teachers could notice him, but he refused every time.

For days he wouldn’t show up and they would go to his house looking for him, only to find him covered with bruises. He always insisted he was fine and threw them out of his house, promising to go back to school once the bruises had faded enough.

The same unpleasant routine went on for weeks; In October, Kala, had had enough. She was so tired and angry that told Felix she would tell all the truth to her parents so they could help them. “I’ve had enough of this.” she said in between sobs and no words came out of Felix’s mouth. She was right and they both knew it.

 

They decided to go to Wolfgang’s house and warn him about what they were about to do; when they got to his apartment building they noticed a black luxurious car on the street, a car they’ve had seen only once at Sofia’s funeral.

“Isn’t that Sergei’s car?” Felix grabbed Kala’s arm to make her stop walking.

“Yes.” Kala bit her lip, suspicious; Sergei and his family never visited Wolfgang in his house, preferring to invite him over the family mansion.

Suddenly Sergei and his wife got out of the building; Felix took Kala’s hand and quickly hid behind a car.

“We should wait until they leave. Don’t know about you but the least thing I want to do is chit chat with Wolfgang’s uncle.” Felix whispered to her and she rolled her eyes.

They waited until their car disappeared out of their sight and quickly ran to Wolfgang’s house, the building’s front door was opened and they walked up the stairs until they reached his apartment.

“I said I needed a couple of minutes.” Wolfgang shouted angrily from the other side of the door after they rang the bell.

“Wolfie, it’s us.” Felix knocked.

They heard his footstep coming closer to the door; he stopped and hesitated for a few seconds before opening the door.

“Hey” He said calmly.

“HEY?! You didn’t answer any of our calls! We were worried about you Wolfgang!” Kala pointed an accusatory finger in his direction and opened the door with her other hand.

“Kaaaalaaa.” Felix said, complaining about her loud voice.

“Sorry. Something happened and I didn’t have-” Wolfgang tried to justify himself.

“What happened? Are you alright?” Kala’s bad humor instantly changed and she gently touched his face, looking for a bruise.

“Yes. I’m fine.”, he cast down his eyes and gulped, “Anton is dead.”

Felix and Kala gasped audibly in shock and he didn't manage to stop the "Holy shit." that slipped from his lips; she covered her mouth and stepped away from him.

“W-What do you mean?” He grabbed his shoulder.

“They found him in his car this morning. Someone killed him and set it on fire.” Wolfgang still tried to avoid looking them in the eyes.

Kala slowly walked towards him and glanced at Felix; “I’m sorry.”, her tone was awkward and it sounded more like a question than a sincere condolence, in other circumstances Felix would have certainly made fun of it.

“My uncle said he had many enemies and we should have seen that coming.” Wolfgang’s impassive voice made them feel incredibly uncomfortable. He didn’t even bother to hide his indifference to his father’s death in their presence, he simply didn’t care.

“That’s why he was here.” Felix said and he nodded.

“I have to pack some things and go to my grandfather’s house until his funeral.”, he walked away from them and resumed packing, “they’re coming back to pick me up in half an hour.”

They helped him then, handing him the things they thought were important and gave him sympathetic looks; however, he ignored most of them and entirely focused on what he was doing.

When his uncle came to pick him up, he hastily grabbed something from his parents’ bedroom and zipped his blue backpack.

Felix and Kala hugged him at the same time before he could leave and told him they would attend the funeral to support him; he nodded and murmured “thank you”, leaving them behind in his own house to stare after him.

 

Anton Bogdanow did have many enemies and his funeral was the proof of it; only a few guests showed up and his brother and father seemed to be the only ones that truly mourned him.

“Everyone hated him.” Wolfgang whispered to his friends as they once again walked to the cemetery.

“Shocking.” Felix blurted out.

“Am I wrong or they spent more money on your mother’s funeral?” Kala’s eyes narrowed as she glanced around, analyzing every little detail.

“Probably. My Aunt Elke organized both funerals, I doubt she put much thought on this one though.”

Elke was walking behind her stepson Steiner, hands perfectly manicured, hair perfectly coiffed, her arm linked with her husband’s. And an unimpressed look on her face.

“Not a big fan of Anton?” Kala asked.

Wolfgang shook his head and laughed humorlessly, “I’m pretty sure the only one who actually gave a shit about him is my grandfather,” he motioned at Hassan with his head, “and that’s because he was his son.”

The old man did, in fact, look sadder than everyone else; his shoulders were tense and his face gave no sign of any kind of emotion but his deep blue eyes showed his true pain.

Wolfgang’s casual tone over his father’s death would have shocked Kala － or anyone else, really －if she hadn’t known about the relationship they had; his friend was serious and there was no sign of satisfaction or relief on his face, but he wasn’t particularly sad either. His current attitude was a stark contrast to how he had behaved during his mother’s funeral.

 

The final service beside his father’s grave never seemed to end.

The priest kept talking for what it felt like hours and soon most of the guests started to check their watches and get distracted, completely uninterested.

When it was finally over, they approached the Bogdanows to give their condolences again and say their goodbyes; Wolfgang didn’t even bother to listen to them.

“We’re leaving in ten minutes.” Hassan told his grandson as he walked towards the cemetery’s exit with Sergei and his family.

Wolfgang was still in front of Anton’s grave with Felix and Kala on both his sides, staring at the words carved on the headstone.

“You reap what you sow.” He murmured, translating the epitaph from Russian.

“Who chose it?” Felix’s eyes widen at the accuracy of the text.

Wolfgang shrugged, “Probably my Uncle Sergei.”

They stayed in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, letting the Autumn sun warm them.

“What now?” Kala asked him.

“I’m moving to my family’s mansion.” He replied with a sigh, clearly not enthusiast of the idea but understanding it was his only choice, “My grandfather is my legal tutor now.”

“You’re going to live with Steiner?!” Felix grimaced.

“I doubt it will be worse than living with my father. Besides, that damn house is big enough for all of us.”

Kala let out a deep breath and looked up at the blue sky, she reached for his hand tentatively and squeezed it softly, “Whatever happens, we will always be here.”

“I know.” He said firmly and smiled at Felix when he put his arm around his shoulders.

He wasn’t sure of what the future held for them; he didn’t know how he would manage to live with relatives he could barely stand, he didn’t know where he would be in the next months, he didn’t know if his life was actually going to change for the better.

He was certain of one thing, one thing only: he was always going to have his best friends by his side. And that was all he cared about.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> • "Sunny, yesterday my life was filled with rain.  
> Sunny, you smiled at me and really eased the pain." This song always reminded me of Kala and Wolfgang and I wanted to include it in this story!  
> • The grades in Germany go from 1 to 6, one being the highest grade.  
> • I don't think I clarified this: Sergei and his family live with Hassan in the huge Bogdanow mansion.  
> • I’ve always believed that everyone reacts to grief in different ways; I actually used a real life experience to describe Wolfgang and his friends’ feelings, and tried my best to keep it coherent to the characters we know and their 12-year-old versions of this story.
> 
> I hope you liked the first part of the story and I'm eager to tell you more about their lives in the next parts!


	8. November 2005

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kala, Wolfgang and Felix (now teenagers) try to enjoy the best years of their lives despite school and their families.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins! The second part of the story starts now, I don't know how many chapters there will be of this but I hope you will enjoy them!

_Part Two: 2005 - 2007_

_I don't mind wasting time_   
_Let's stop and smell the roses_   
_Ooh, how I know the odds is that high_   
_As ever need to hang me out to dry_   
_Ooh help me please my hands are tired_   
_Don't have the courage just to tell you goodbye_

 

_“Do you remember when you were a child and I used to take you to the pool?” He could feel her hands in his hair, slowly caressing it with a gentle touch. They were on the couch, his head on her lap and the sweet smell of freshly baked cookie in the air; Anton hadn’t shown up in almost two days and they were taking advantage of it._

_“We still go to the pool, Mama.” He replied with a smile on his face._

_“Yes, but you’re not a little boy anymore. I miss those days.”_

_Wolfgang playfully rolled his eyes, “You always remind me I’ll always be your little boy, no matter my age.”_

_“Maybe I’m finally accepting the truth. Lately, you seem to pay more attention to the girls swimming in the water than me.” Sofia enjoyed teasing him and giggled when she saw the blush on his cheeks._

_“That’s not true!” He whined and covered his face with a pillow._

_“Right, right. Sorry.” She moved the pillow and apologized to him with a sincere smile on her face, “We both know you only pay attention to only one girl.”_

_She wiggled her eyebrows and looked at him with a knowing smile, causing him to get even more embarrassed._

_“Mama! Come on!” He tried to reach for the pillow again and she stopped him._

_“What? I’m your mother, I know what I’m talking about.”_

_“You don’t. You have no idea.” He got up and sat next to her._

_“I’ll remember this conversation and mention it on your wedding day.”_

_“My w-w-wedding day? Seriously?” He widened his eyes, appalled by the mere idea._

_She nodded and tried to bring his head on her lap again; he stopped by gently laying a hand on her stomach._

_“I wonder if you will be as insufferable with her.” A tiny smile appeared on his lips, a warm feeling suddenly filling his heart._

_“Maybe.” She whispered, “or maybe you will be.” and she tenderly caressed his cheek._

 

A loud, piercing noise woke him up and he hastily stopped it by turning his alarm clock off with one hand.

He exhaled deeply, part of him still in the comfortable safety of his dream, and slowly blinked as he opened his eyes. Instantly, he closed them again and fought the urge to go back to sleep. A couple of minutes had passed when his phone rang once and a text appeared on the screen.

With a groan he picked it up, already knowing what it said.

 

Kala: Get up. History Test today. Last year of hell, remember? :)

 

He rolled his eyes at his friend’s maternal concern; she always sent these texts in the morning of important days to him and Felix, not trusting them enough to wake up in time or actually show up to school.

They often told her she was the main reason why they had reached their final year of school and, even though she assured them that they were both smart but incredibly lazy, they knew it was the truth.

He sent her a text assuring her he was already awake and slowly sat up on his bed; he had been staring at the floor for a few minutes, trying to find the will to actually start his day, when his telephone’s screen lit up again:

 

Felix: can you tell kala I’m not going to school today?

 

He grinned and looked up to his ceiling; her angry pout vivid in his mind.

 

Wolfgang: Tell her yourself. Coward.

 

He got up and opened his closet to choose his outfit for the day; not that it was particularly hard, his clothes all resembled themselves, the colors ranging from dark blue to dark grey to black. Quite a stark contrast to his friends, who preferred bright colors such as orange and pink.

He laid out the clothes on his bed and got out of his room to go to the bathroom he shared with his cousin; Steiner wasn’t up yet and he found himself grateful for small mercies.

When he went back to his room he noticed he had received a new text.

 

Felix: she called me :( see u in class :(

 

This time, he tried to stifle a giggle and shook slightly his head, amused by their antics.

After he got dressed and checked himself in the mirror, he left the room and quickly ran out of the Bogdanow mansion towards the bus station; trying to avoid any of his relatives living in the house.

  


“I studied for the test but I’m not entirely sure I answered correctly to some questions,” she sighed and put her fork down on the table, “I think I got distracted at some point.”

Felix looked seriously at her and then at Wolfgang, “She always says this shit and then gets 1!”

“Hey!” Kala pouted, “I’m very anxious about my grades this year.”

“Yeah! For absolutely no reason! You’re the best student in this school.” He replied and Wolfgang nodded in agreement.

Kala was about to answer to them when their old friend Ismail sat up next to her.

“Hello losers,” he briefly glanced at the boys, “Kala.”

Neither Wolfgang or Felix missed the not-so-subtle wink he gave her and rolled their eyes.

Kala had grown up to be a beautiful young woman; with her black curls cascading down her back , her expressive eyes and her charming smile, she often caught boys’ attention.

She was charmingly timid most of the times, always answering to a compliment with a small nod, but also incredibly fierce when she wanted to be － especially when someone kept flirting with her after she had already told them to stop.

Usually, Kala was quick to stop their advances. However, she enjoyed Ismail’s attention and did nothing to put an end to it.

 

Ismail was tall and he was part of the school football team just like Wolfgang and Felix, all of his physical training made his body look firm and nicely shaped; he always had a cheerful smile on his face that reached his eyes and Kala caught herself staring at him more times than she would have admitted.

 

“Hey.” She tucked her hair behind her ears and smiled at him.

“How did the History test go?” Ismail asked her.

“Great.” Wolfgang answered for her and Ismail turned to look at him.

“I think she can speak, Bogdanow.” He smirked.

“Well, I want to be part of your conversation as well.” Wolfgang smiled smugly at him and the two boys exchanged a knowing look.

They both refused to look away from the other and the tension could have been cut with a knife; Felix had enough of it and let out an annoyed sigh.

“Are you going to Lito’s party this Saturday?”

“Of course.” Ismail set his eyes on Kala and asked her in a low voice, “are you?”

“Unfortunately, I’m not.”

“What a pity.” He said with such a dramatic voice that Wolfgang couldn’t help but snort.

Ismail rolled his eyes and blew a kiss to him playfully.

“I’m sure all the girls will be delighted to see you there Wolfie.” Ismail told him; he saw how Kala had stiffened out of the corner of his eye and he smiled, satisfied with her reaction.

“Well, they will have to settle for you I guess.” Wolfgang shrugged innocently.

Felix slapped his brother’s arm and indignantly complained, “The fuck? You’re not coming?”

The two friends started arguing over it , Felix accused him of “betraying” his trust and being a “shitty” friend; Ismail took advantage of their momentary distraction and turned his body on the  chair to face Kala.

“Why aren’t you going?”

“My parents won’t let me.”

He smiled at her mischievously and raised his eyebrows, “Do you think they will let you go on a date with me?”

Kala laughed nervously and felt her cheeks burning; she sheepishly looked down on the floor and was about to answer him when Wolfgang interrupted them again, “Wow. Smooth.” he remarked, completely unimpressed.

Ismail tossed his head back and let out a small laugh, “Damn, is he always like this?”

“So annoying? Most of the times, yes.” Kala glared at Wolfgang and he just smiled at her.

The school bell rang and that meant their lunch break was over, they had to walk towards their classrooms for the last two lessons of the day.

“It was a pleasure, as always.” Ismail got up and gave Kala another wink before he left.

 

Kala stared at his friends with a serious look on her face.

“You two are such idiots.”

Felix opened his mouth and pointed at himself, “ME?! What did I do?!”

“Why are you always like that when Ismail is around?” She crossed her arms and looked at Wolfgang, patiently waiting for an answer.

“You know I don’t like him.” He shrugged, as if that explained everything.

“You two used to be friends!”

He shrugged again and that only made her angrier.

She wasn’t wrong － but she wasn’t completely right either.

Wolfgang, Ismail and Felix had been friends for some time; they had hung out for an entire summer together, shared inside jokes and genuinely enjoyed their time together, but at the end of the day it had always been Wolfgang and Felix. And Ismail slowly distanced himself from them.

Now, their relationship consisted of the playful banters and teasing only long-term acquaintances had.

“I never flirt with the girls you don’t like.” Wolfgang reminded her, ruining her mood with every word that came out of his mouth.

“How considerate of you!” Kala hissed at him.

“Ok, I think it’s time to talk about something else.” Felix tried to ease the tension that was slowly building.

“I have to go to class. Bye.” Kala quickly get up and put her food container inside her bag.

After she had left, Felix turned to Wolfgang and raised his eyebrows questiongly.

“What?” Wolfgang said, clearly irritated.

Felix rolled his eyes and got up from the table as well, “Come on, we have class.” and didn’t say anything else.

By the time their afternoon classes were over, Wolfgang had apologized to Kala and they had decided to put it all behind them, much to Felix’s annoyance.

 

The week had passed quickly than he thought it would have and soon Wolfgang found himself laying on his bed on Saturday night.

He had his earphones on and the volume of the music was turned all up, effectively blocking all the sounds that came outside of his room.

His Uncle and Grandfather had decided to invite some business associates over for dinner at the very last minute, it caught him completely off guard and he had decided to skip the meal completely.

 

It had been four years since he had moved in with his family and it hadn’t been easy at the start.

His cousin Steiner constantly teased him, most of the times it consisted on the usual childish comments a fifteen-year-old would make and Wolfgang would ignore them with no problems.

 

However, one day Steiner went too far.

They had been teasing and insulting each other as they often did; their argument had been getting more heated with every sentence, every word; they were being more offensive than ever before and suddenly Steiner had shouted: “I bet you’re not even a Bogdanow, you never knew with your whore mother.”

Before he could realize it, Steiner had been thrown into the ground with a surprising force; his head had hit the wooden floor and his cousin was on top of him, hitting his face with furious anger. He had unsuccessfully tried to fight him back but only his father managed to lift Wolfgang away from his body.

Wolfgang had broken his nose and his pride in a matter of seconds. And Steiner had never forgotten about it.

 

The door of his room opened and his grandfather’s imposing figure walked towards him. Wolfgang sat up on his bed and paused his music on his Ipod immediately.

If there was one single person in his family to whom Wolfgang showed respect it was Hassan Bogdanow; it was a respect born out of fear, not admiration.

“It’s Saturday night and you’re not out?” His grandfather asked him.

“I’m not really in the mood to go out, Sir.”

Hassan hummed softly to himself, not entirely convinced, “Come downstairs, there are some people I want to introduce to you.” his tone was firm and it was clear he wouldn’t accept a refusal.

Wolfgang gulped and ran a hand through his messy hair,“With all due respect, Sir., I would rather stay in my room.”

Hassan looked at him directly in the eye, his lips were pressed tightly together and he didn’t say a word.

 

He found himself staring at his grandfather; the shape of his eyes slightly resembled his own, Wolfgang’s  were smaller than his mother’s had been but also slightly bigger than Anton’s; after the first years of puberty, his jawline had seemed to get sharper, more defined, and looked more like his Grandfather’s. Wolfgang wondered if he would look more and more like him as the years passed, and a chill ran down his spine at the sudden thought.

 

“I want you downstairs in ten minutes, Wolfgang.” He didn’t add anything else as he closed the door behind him.

The last thing Wolfgang wanted to do was socialize with Russian mobsters in his living room.

So, he quickly got up and put on his shoes, sprayed his favorite cologne on his neck, and opened his window; carefully climbed down through the drain pipe and ran away.

 

“¡Hermano! You came!” Lito grinned at him and hugged him enthusiastcally.

“Couldn’t miss one of your parties, Lito.” Wolfgang smiled and patted his back.

Lito Rodriguez was one of the most popular boys in school; his parties were social events that couldn’t be missed, everyone tried to have his attention and his approval; he certainly enjoyed the spotlight but wasn’t conceited or snobbish and enjoyed talking to everyone.

 

Wolfgang and Lito had become friends seven months before; when Wolfgang had defended him during a fight with two older men in a parking lot. Lito had stared at him in amazement as he effortlessly punched and kicked them despite his smaller frame; afterwards, they had shared a beer at a nearby park and Wolfgang and his friends had gained a lifetime invitation to all of Lito’s parties.

 

Felix was dancing with a redheaded girl when he noticed Wolfgang and he walked towards him, leaving her to stare after him in disbelief.

“You said you wouldn’t come!”

“I just want to get drunk.” He told him with a grin and together they walked to the kitchen.

They were drinking cheap vodka in a plastic cup when Ismail approached them and put his arms around their shoulders; “Friends.” he simply greeted them.

“Are you drunk already?” Wolfgang asked.

Ismail ignored him and moved his head to look around, “Kala?”

 

Wolfgang and Felix looked at each other and rolled their eyes; everyone knew Kala Dandekar never went to parties, not because she didn’t want to but her parents never let her; no matter how good she behaved, or how flexible they were about other things, Sanyam and Priya Dandekar would never let her go to a party filled with “lustful German teenagers”, as her mother had delicately put it once.

Still, she didn’t want her friends to miss their opportunity to have some reckless fun and encouraged them to go without her; at first, they had refused, and told her that they couldn’t do it without her.

This went on for a couple of months until Kala had decided it was enough; she couldn’t stand their sad-puppy faces everytime they declined an invitation, and she forced them to go. Since then, they hardly missed a party and she gladly listened to their anecdotes the day after; hoping that one day she might be part of their stories.

 

“She’s not here, you know that.” Felix answered him.

Ismail sighed and dramatically put a hand to his heart, “One can hope.”

Felix shook his head, amused, and changed the topic; their chatter kept getting louder and louder over the loud music. While in the middle of conversation, a girl approached them and lightly touched Wolfgang’s arm.

“Hi.” She said with a bright smile. Her name was Anastasia and he had seen around school; it was hard not to look at her, actually; with her long legs and shining smile, she managed to catch everyone’s eyes.

“... Hi.” Wolfgang looked at her, a bit confused by the sudden greeting.

Ismail and Felix quietly laughed at his shocked face and observed the scene in front of them with amused smiles on their faces.

“Are you having fun?” Anastasia came closer to him, her caramel brown hair inches from his face.

“Yes.” He couldn’t help but get lost in her green eyes.

“Do you want to dance with me?” She touched his arm lightly and pressed her body against him.

It might have been the vodka, it might have been her perfume or maybe he just wanted to prove something to himself; he accepted and took her to the dancefloor.

Ismail looked at Felix in disbelief, he simply shook his head slightly and took a sip from his cup; girls liked Wolfgang, there was nothing new about that, and Wolfgang occasionally gave up to his libido and enjoyed their company. Felix never said anything to him and hoped every time that it would be the last.

 

In 2003, when Kala was fifteen years old, the Dandekars’ closed their restaurant to open a bigger one in Albrechtstraße; it was bigger and brighter than the first one, the modern decor and Sanyam’s traditional cuisine was a perfect combination that was an instant success. And they had found a new apartment right above it, an apartment that consisted of three bedrooms and the Dandekar Sisters were enthusiast about not having to share a room anymore.

 

Wolfgang and Felix were regular customers of the restaurant and their Sunday lunch with Kala had become a tradition.

 

“Oh you went to the party.” Kala casually commented as she poured herself a glass of water.

The three of them had chosen to eat Biryani that day; it was a rare warm day at the end of November and the sunlight coming through the nearest window hit their table in a pleasant way.

“Didn’t stay long.” Wolfgang told her, his voice higher than usual. The restaurant was crowded and people around them chatted loudly, making it hard for them to listen to each other.

“I know I always say this but,” Felix swallowed the food he had in his mouth, “your father’s talent will never cease to amaze me.”, he took another spoonful of rice, “fucking amazing.”

Kala smiled at Felix and glanced proudly at the kitchen.

“You didn’t miss much last night, by the way.” Felix reassured her with a smile.

She didn’t say anything; she knew he was trying to cheer up but she was afraid that anything she would say would make him feel guilty over having fun without her.

“You said your parents might let you spend New Year’s Eve with us?” Wolfgang asked her as he cleaned his mouth with a napkin.

Kala let out a doubtful sigh and delicately moved a stray of hair out of her face.

“If I manage to convince them, yes.”

She could snuck out at night with no particular difficulty, the boys had definitely suggested it more than once, but the mere thought of disappointing her parents in any way made her stomach knot with guilt.

Every time, she would try and ask them, hoping that maybe she had luck on her side and they would let her go to a certain party or late night escaped with her friends. But she was never lucky and she often ended up more disappointed and angrier than before.

“I hope they will! I need you as my wing-woman.” Felix told her and Kala giggled, baffled.

“Your what?”

“My wing-woman. Help me hook up with girls.” He explained it as if it was the most rational thing.

“I think you’re mistaking me with someone else.” she said, nodding towards Wolfgang.

“No, the girls always end up wanting to make out with him.” Felix playfully shoved him.

Wolfgang let out a small laugh and immediately searched Kala’s eyes but she avoided eye-contact as she smiled.

“No, really, the last time I fucked I-” Wolfgang cleared his throat to stop his friend from talking and subtly glanced at Kala.

She huffed, annoyed, “You know you can talk about these things, I’m not a prude.”, suddenly she blushed and looked down, “I just don’t want any details, that’s all.”

 

Ever since Felix had lost his virginity at fourteen and Wolfgang at fifteen, she had tried to avoid such conversations as much as possible; she didn’t get scandalized with casual comments about their sex lives, but she couldn’t deny she didn’t feel as comfortable with sexuality as they did.

 

“It’s okay.” Felix told her and clapped his hands, “Let’s talk about something more important: my 18th birthday.”

Wolfgang rolled his eyes and looked at his friend, “Your birthday is in March.”

“And? I get easily excited about birthdays.” He defended himself.

“Not my fault if you two share a birthday and don’t feel special enough.”

 

A couple of months after they had become friends with Kala, they had found out her birthday was on August 8th, just like Wolfgang’s; Felix had thought it was “too cool to be true” and had always insisted on spending their special day in the best ways possible.

 

“You should ask your parents now,” Felix pointed at her with his spoon, “Maybe they will say yes since you asked them with four months of advance.”

Kala laughed and shook her head slightly; not entirely sure of his plan.

Felix pouted dramatically, “Please?”

She glanced at Wolfgang and he raised his eyebrows, letting her know that it was her choice, that she could handle the situation as she wanted.

“I will try harder this time. I promise.” She sighed, already imagining how her conversation with her parents would go.

Felix smiled broadly at her and took her hands in his, “The only thing I want is to celebrate my 18th birthday with my brother and sister.”

His words were so sincere, and so full of love and hope, that she was touched deeply by them; Felix cared so much about her and he wanted her by his side to share an important moment with him.

 

In that moment Kala decided that, this time, she would do anything to attend his party, no matter what her parents thought about it.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Ismail looks like Elyas M'Barek in my head. If you don't know who that is, google him, you won't regret it! (google also "+ max riemelt" so you can see them together!)  
> \- Remember, grades in Germany go from 1 to 6.  
> \- This is just the beginning! We will find out more about Teen!Kalagang (and Felix) in the next chapters!


	9. December 2005

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kala gets a new friend and convinces her family to let her spend NYE with Wolfgang and Felix.

Kala Dandekar hated winter. Or she really, really disliked it — it depended on her mood. 

The gelid rain, the cold air, the slippery street, the public transportation that never seemed to work properly, even the snow she loved dearly as a child; everything put her in a bad mood.

And, as if the discomfort caused by the terrible weather wasn’t enough, she also got sick every year.

 

“I think a chick has a better immune system than you.” Felix shook his head as he sat on the armchair near her couch.

 

She had a fever, _again_ , and her two best friends were visiting her after school, dropping by her house to check on her and bring her Chicken Soup from her favorite Chinese restaurant.

 

“He a has point.” Wolfgang handed the hot plate to her and she sat up on the couch to hold it more carefully.

 

“You tease me every year,” Kala rolled her eyes and took a sip, “thank you for the soup, I guess.”

 

“We do it from the heart.” Wolfgang chuckled and sat on the floor, in front of the couch.

It was a tradition by then; she would get sick, skip school and they would visit her with her favorite meals, ready to cheer her up for a couple of hours.

 

“You will never guess who asked for you today at school!” Felix grinned enthusiastically, he didn’t even let her think about it and answered himself, “Daniela Velasquez!”

 

“What?” Kala asked confusedly and glanced at Wolfgang.

Daniela was in Lito’s group of friends; she was witty and outspoken, her beauty and her sociable personality made her one of the most popular girls in school. Also, Felix had a intense crush on her.

 

“You should have seen Felix’s face when she greeted us,” Wolfgang smirked, “it was the funniest shit I swear.”

 

“Fuck off,” Felix moved slightly to playfully kick him.

 

Kala laughed, it wasn’t hard to picture it for her; more than once she had seen him getting nervous by her presence in the same room they were.

 

“Why was she looking for me?”

“She wanted to ask for your help with like chemistry or something.”  

 

“She said history, were you even listening to her?” Wolfgang rolled his eyes at his friend.

 

“I might have got distracted with her face.” Felix said with a foolish smile on his face.

 

“Her boobs, you mean?”

“Hey! I’m a gentleman, I don’t do that.” Felix tried to defend himself and Wolfgang shook his head, amused.

 

“Wolfgang, could you pass me the bottle of water, please?” Kala suddenly coughed and tried to keep her hands steady to prevent the soup from spilling.

 

“Sure.” Wolfgang gave her the bottle and furrowed his brows, “are you feeling better than yesterday?”

 

“Slightly better, yes.” She nodded and smiled weakly, “I don’t know if I’ll go to school tomorrow but tell her we will talk when I’m back.”

 

“Ok, sure.” Felix turned on the television and looked at them, “do you want to watch a movie?”

 

“Yes but Wolfgang has to get up from there and sit next to me.” Kala moved her legs to give him more space and patted the couch, inviting him to get closer.

 

“You know I like everyone to be comfortable.”

Wolfgang tried to hide his smile as he got up from the floor to sit next to her.

 

Felix stretched out his hand to take a stack of DVDs from the television’s cabinet, “I think we should rewatch The Ring.”

 

Kala and Wolfgang grunted at the same time and shook their heads. It was definitely going to be a long afternoon.

 

* * *

 

Two days later, Kala was back to school.

She stood in middle of the hallway, staring at Daniela talking with Lito; she took a deep breath and fixed her hair before walking towards them.

 

“Hi.” Kala greeted her as she lightly touched her shoulder to catch her attention.

 

Lito and Daniela stopped talking and slowly moved their heads to look at her, the confused frowns on their faces turned into smiles as they saw who she was.

“Hi! Kala Dandekar!” Daniela enthusiastically said as Lito smiled to her.

 

“Yes.” Kala blushed and bit her lip nervously, her shyness suddenly overwhelming her, “my friends told me you wanted to talk to me?”

 

Daniela nodded and glanced at Lito, who immediately understood her look, “See you later, chicas.”, he kissed Daniela on the cheek and left them alone.

 

“I know we’ve only talked a few times before but I was wondering if you could help me with history, please?” Daniela said quickly.

Her cheerful voice was so charming that Kala nodded instinctively.

 

Daniela squeaked and hugged her, “Thank you! The test I took last month went terrible! I really need your help!”

 

“It’s ok, Daniela.”Kala was shocked by her hug, to say the least, and awkwardly patted her back.

“Oh call me Dani!” She pulled away from the hug and linked her arm with Kala’s, “Come on, let’s figure out when we can see each other after school.”

 

Kala followed her, she was completely dumbfounded at the girl’s extroversion but at the same time, she enjoyed it as a breath of fresh air and she found herself smiling at her vibrant personality.

 

The girls started seeing each other more frequently; it all started as study sessions where Kala helped her organize her homework and respect her deadlines －inevitably, a friendship began to grow and they genuinely grew fond of each other.

Kala had almost forgot what it felt like to have a female friend, she loved Wolfgang and Felix dearly but there were things she simply couldn’t talk with them.

 

“You’ve replaced us, we understand, don’t worry.” Felix teased her when she refused to hang out with them because she had already made plans with Daniela.

“Don’t listen to him, he’s jealous because you have Dani’s attention.” Wolfgang smirked at his best friend.

He gasped dramatically and touched his chest, “Ouch. That was mean, Wolfie.”

“Idiots.” Kala shook her head and smiled affectionately, “You two will always be my favorites.”

“Aww, adorable.” Felix and Wolfgang pulled her towards them and hugged her, laughing as their bodies muffled her giggles.

 

* * *

 

Priya Dandekar loved her books, no matter how hard her day had been, a romantic novel would always put her in a good mood. Every morning, when she woke up to start her day, she looked forward for the evening to come －the only time of the day when she could truly relax.

That’s why Kala had decided to discuss her New Year’s Eve plans when her mother had finished reading her daily chapters.

 

“What is it, darling?” Sanyam asked her as Kala made him sit on the couch next to her mother.

Priya closed her book and looked at her daughter.

 

“I want to talk about New Year’s Eve.” Kala held her chin high and took a deep breath, “I want to spend it with Wolfgang and Felix.”

Kala cleared her throat and frantically said, “I mean, I would like to go out with them and it would mean the world if you let me.”

 

Sanyam quickly glanced at his wife; Priya’s eyes were sternly set on their daughter and her eyebrows were raised in shock.

“You can see them during the day.” She told her matter-of-factly.

“No Mama, I would like to wait for midnight with them.”

 

Priya shook her head vigorously, “No.”

Kala looked at her father, a plea in her eyes.

“I’m not letting you go to some New Year’s Eve party, these are the worst kind of parties.”

 

“We won’t go to a party!” Kala took a deep breath, again, and lowered her voice, “Maybe they will after midnight, but I won’t. I don’t want to. I just want to spend it with my two closest friends.”

 

Her mother kept shaking her head and Sanyam delicately touched her hand, “Darling, it’s just for a couple of hours. And we’ve known Felix and Wolfgang for years, they’re good boys.”

 

“Please.” Kala pleaded to her.

“This is a terrible idea.” Priya stood up and caressed Kala’s face, “No, darling. Goodnight.” and she simply left without saying or listen to another word.

 

“Papa! Please!” Kala turned to look at her father, her last hope.

Sanyam stood up as well and sighed deeply as he pinched the bridge of his nose, “You have to promise me you won’t do anything stupid or go to dangerous places.”

“I promise.” She crossed her arms and nodded.

“I will talk to her, then.”

 

The morning after, Kala went to the kitchen to have breakfast before school and found her father and sister sitting on the table’s chair.

 

“Mama already left, I don’t know what you did but she didn’t look pleased.” Daya told her as she ate her cereals.

 

Kala glanced at her father and he mouthed “later”.

They had a quiet meal; Daya, unlike her sister, was a morning person and always talked the most during breakfast, she talked about everything and her morning cheeriness annoyed her older sister most of the time.

 

In that moment, Kala only wanted her to go back to her room so she could finally talk to her father.

 

After what it felt like hours, Daya excused herself and went to her room to finish preparing for school. Kala turned to look at her father immediately and patiently waited for him to start talking.

 

“I convinced her, you can go.” Sanyam smiled.

Kala yelled and clapped her hands excitedly, “Thank you! Thank you!” she hugged him tightly and kissed his head.

 

Sanyam laughed at his daughter’s enthusiasm and ran his fingers through her curls, “Remember your promise, Kala.”

 

Kala nodded and started jumping up and down like an happy child. She couldn’t wait to tell the good news to her friends.

 

* * *

 

 

“So you’re spending New Year’s Eve with Wolfgang and Felix?” Dani asked her as they were getting ready for their last P.E. class in the gym. The Winter break was approaching and they were surviving their last days of school.

Kala tied her hair in a ponytail and nodded, “You can come with us.”

 

“Actually, I wanted to invite you to my house. My parents are in Mexico and I’m planning a party with Lito.”

“I would love to but I have a very restraining curfew.” She said, not even bothering to hide her disappointment.

 

“That’s ok.” Daniela smiled at her and looked over where Wolfgang, Felix, Ismail and Lito were warming up for the class, “I can invite your friends, right?”

Kala followed her friend’s gaze and nodded absently.

 

“Great!” Daniela said as her eyes fixed on one of the boys, “He’s cute.” she casually remarked and Kala felt her body freeze.

“Who?”

“Wolfgang. He has quite the pretty face, doesn’t he?” She turned her head to look at Kala and raised her eyebrows, waiting for an answer.

 

Kala gulped and avoided Daniela’s eyes, “He’s like a brother to me.”

Her friend’s body shook with mirth at her excuse.

“Does that make you blind?”

“No!” Kala blushed, “I just don’t see him that way. That’s all.”

 

Daniela rolled her eyes and whispered, “Interesting…”

“What?” Kala was getting slightly annoyed and wished to drop the subject as fast as possible.

“I bet,” She pointed at her, “that if I had said the same thing about Felix, you wouldn’t have had  any problem agreeing with me.”

 

Kala stayed in silence for a few seconds, not entirely sure of what was she supposed to say. “That’s not true.” she replied in a small voice.

 

Daniela snorted, “You have a huge crush on your best friend, it happens.”, she shrugged.

Kala moved her body, turning around to completely avoid Daniela.

 

“It’s rather obvious if you ask me, with all the times I caught you staring at him in only a few weeks.”

 

“Stop it!” Kala hissed as she looked around to ensure no one was paying attention to them.

 

Daniela kept going, “I’ve caught him looking at you a few times too, he turns a lovely shade of red when he realizes I’m watching him.”

 

At this, Kala turned to look at her and shook her head. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

“Really? So, you’re telling me that in all these years of friendship you’ve never thought about him as something more of a friend?” Daniela’s brown eyes stared directly back at her.

 

Kala shook her head and looked up at the gym’s ceiling; her classmates’ animated chatter sounded like a distant buzz to her ears, she tried to take a deep breath, the heavy air suddenly felt suffocating as she was forced to confront the truth.

 

Did she ever think of it? Of course she did. She would be lying to herself if she said no.

But all these thoughts, all that wishful thinking that maybe, _maybe,_ one day their relationship could turn into something else, something all consuming and extraordinary, were always quickly hidden in the farthest corner of her heart every time she dared to think about them.

 

She could spend hours daydreaming, purposely mistaking a tender hug or an innocent compliment for subtle gestures that shown his true desires, but at the end of the day he was still Wolfgang －her best friend, her most loyal companion, the only one she felt she could say anything to. And she wasn’t sure she was ready to lose that. She wasn’t sure she wanted to lose that.

 

“Let’s not talk about this again, ok?” Kala whispered as her eyes were inevitably drawn to Wolfgang in the middle of the room.

Daniela sighed, “Amiga, we’re too young not to take risks.”

Kala didn’t reply and walked towards the rest of the group, as much as she tried to ignore her friend’s words, they still echoed in her head.  


* * *

 

 

“You look beautiful.” Daya murmured.  Kala was in front of her full-length mirror, checking herself for the last time.

 

She smiled at her little sister and, weirdly, she found herself agreeing with her; she was wearing a sparkling white sweater that contrasted perfectly with her black skirt and her black stockings, the twinkle of her clothes made her skin glow under the light.

“Thank you, Daya.”

 

“Here, put this on.” Her sister handed her a red lipstick, and wiggled her eyebrows, teasing her.

Kala shook her head, amused, and didn’t bother to reproach her for her insinuation. She put on the lipstick, grabbed her white coat and went out of the door to reach the living room.

 

Wolfgang and Felix were sitting on the couch in between Priya and Sanyam; they looked incredibly uncomfortable as they tried to assure them that they were going to take good care of their daughter.

 

Kala bit her lips to repress a smile and cleared her throat, “I’m ready.”

A matching look of relief appeared on the boys’ faces and they got up as quickly as possible.

 

Her parents got up as well and repeated the same things they had been saying for the past two days: “don’t do anything stupid”, “don’t get drunk”, “don’t go to dangerous neighborhoods”, “protect her”, “don’t let her out of your sight”, “we love you as our own sons but Ganesha help you if anything happens to her”, “she has to be home by half past one.”.

 

The moment the apartment door closed behind them, they let out a breath of relief and quickly ran down the stairs.

“We’ve known them since we were twelve years old, why are they suddenly treating us like criminals.” Felix said as the evening’s frosty air hit them on the faces, making them shiver.

 

“You know how overprotective they can be.” Kala said sheepishly.

“It’s New Year’s Eve! Everyone is out,” Felix exclaimed and put his arms around his friends’ shoulders, “nothing is going to happen to you, Kaly.”

  


They took the U-Bahn at the nearest station and squeezed themselves inside the subway’s carriage; it was almost ten and people were constantly moving around the city towards the night final destination, the countdown for the New Year getting closer and closer.

 

After two stations, a seat nearby was surprisingly freed and Wolfgang motioned Kala towards it.  She refused to sit down and insisted he did.

 

They starting talking about the few hours they had and Kala told them she wanted to go to the Christmas Market at Gendarmenmarkt and then walk through the city center’s street; “I don’t want to do anything crazy, I just want to spend this night with you two.” she told them.

 

The subway abruptly stopped, causing the woman behind her to push her hard forwards, towards Wolfgang. Just as suddenly, the subway started moving again.

 

“I’m so sorry,” the young woman apologized to her and she assured her she was fine; Kala had fallen right in Wolfgang’s lap; “like in the most romantic movies” she thought before she could stop herself, and felt her cheeks warm up as she blushed furiously.

 

Wolfgang didn’t move a single muscle, he didn’t try to get her up or distance himself from her,his body completely still as he tried to hold his breath, and she let her body relax. When she felt his arms around her waist and his calloused hands gently touching her stomach, she reassured herself that there was nothing wrong with sitting on her best friend’s lap in a crowded place.

  


“This,” Kala said as she pointed at her glass of mulled wine, “is the most delicious thing I’ve ever drunk.”

 

Felix took a sip of his own glass as he sat more comfortably on a wooden bench, “Aren’t we breaking one of your parents’ rules?”

 

“No,” Kala shook her head and smiled, “They said not get drunk. Not, don’t drink alcohol.”

 

“Every day that passes, you’re more like us. I’m so proud.” Felix wiped an imaginary tear from his eyes and clapped.

 

Wolfgang grinned, “I thought the goal was us getting like her, not the other way around.”

 

“This is more fun.” Felix remarked and moved his glass towards Kala’s and turned to look at Wolfgang, waiting for him to do the same.

 

“To us.” Wolfgang said with a bright smile as the three friends clinked their glasses. “To us.”, they repeated.

 

Love warmed them more than the wine could, the night’s cheerful mood filling them with carefree happiness and the colorful lights brightened the smiles on their faces; in that moment, in the middle of a Christmas market surrounded by strangers, they felt at home, they felt safe. Nothing else mattered but them.

 

For more than one hour and a half, they wandered through the market and the streets nearby; alternating mulled wine to beer and pretzels to käsewurst and enjoyed the street artist’s music. Kala bought three golden hats that said “Happy New Year” in capital silver letters and made her friends wear them; she had expected Wolfgang to be more reluctant but he accepted after only a smile from her.

  


“FIFTEEN FUCKING MINUTES!” Felix excitedly said as they stood in front of Brandenburg Gate with other hundreds of people.

In his left hand, he held tightly a bottle of Champagne; he had managed to buy it in mini market only a few minutes before, despite being under-aged － ”One of my special talents.” he had proudly said.

 

Kala laughed freely, all the glasses of wine and beer had finally caught up with her and she felt more relaxed than ever before.

 

“Yes, we know,” Wolfgang replied, a foolish smile on his face, his eyes sparkling.

He took a pack of cigarettes from his jacket and offered one to Felix and Kala; Felix accepted it while she shook her head.

 

“I think this is definitely against my parents’ rules.”

Wolfgang shrugged and lightened the cigarette, being careful not to smoke directly towards Kala’s face.

 

“I can’t believe another year is about to start,” Kala sighed as she hugged herself, “time passes so quickly. Before we realize, we will have children and we will get married, constantly worrying about the bills to pay or -”

 

“That sounds incredibly depressing,” Felix said and laughed.

“I don’t know about you but,” he added, “I don’t hear wedding bells or see diapers covered with shit in my near future.”

 

“You see the Bundesliga.” Wolfgang said with a small smile.

“Fuck yes.”

Kala rolled her eyes and squeezed Felix’s arm, “We all grow up, eventually.”

He quickly kissed her temple and pulled her closer to him, “Not us Kaly, not us.”

 

She smiled softly and furrowed her eyebrows when a question came up to her mind.

“What is your New Year Eve’s Resolution? I’m curious.” Kala asked him and laid her head on his shoulder.

He seemed to think about is seriously, his face suddenly changing, “Be more courageous. You?”

Kala focused on the dark sky above her, trying her best to avoid looking at the boys standing next to her.

“Me too.”

  


“Three minutes, get the bottle ready.” Wolfgang said and got closer to them.

 

Kala suddenly felt Wolfgang’s warm body against hers, his hands once again on her waist, gently squeezing her; his perfume made her dizzy in the most pleasant of ways and she didn’t fight the urge to press her nose to his neck, smiling faintly as she felt him tremble and inhale sharply.

 

Her heart was beating furiously in her chest, her stomach twisted in knots and if she concentrated enough, she could see them clearly in the future; Wolfgang hugging her from behind on a rooftop as they stared at the fireworks together, his lips on her shoulder, kissing it with the gentleness he seemed to have only for her.

 

They spent only a couple of minutes in that position, but to her, it felt like years. The countdown soon started, interrupting their brief intimate moment.

 

“Ten… Nine… Eight…” Everyone started screaming and jumping around them.

“Seven… Six… Five…” Felix’s hand was on the bottle of Champagne, ready to open it, a huge smile on his face.

 

“Four… Three… Two…” Kala and Wolfgang slowly turned to look at each other, her brown eyes got lost in his blue ones, their faces mere inches apart. His lips got dangerously close to hers as the seconds passed.

 

“One!” Felix yelled next to them, too focused on the fireworks that had just begun to realize what was happening, “HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR!”

 

He opened the bottle of Champagne too fast and the liquid sprayed on Kala’s coat － it startled her and caused her to move away from Wolfgang.

 

Wolfgang gulped and straightened his back, slightly shaking his head as if trying to wake up from a dream.

He looked at her, a silent question in his eyes, and his hands trembled on her waist.

 

Before she could realize what she was doing, she moved and got closer to him once again; her hand gently stroked his cheek, enjoying the the light stubble under her palm, and pressed her lips on the corner of his mouth.

“Happy 2006, Wolfgang.” She whispered, her low voice a mix of tenderness and sadness.

 

It was over as quickly as it begun, and Wolfgang reluctantly let her go － his eyes never left her as she hugged Felix and stared at the beautiful fireworks behind the monument.

He let out a deep breath he didn't know he was holding, and forced himself to do the same.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it! Can't wait to let you read the next chapters!


	10. January 2006

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kala has difficulties dealing with what happened between her and Wolfgang on New Year's Eve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of racism and xenophobia.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE HE WAS YOUR NEW YEAR’S EVE KISS!” Daniela exclaimed.

Kala blushed furiously and tried to hide her face under her voluminous hair, “It was just a small kiss on the corner of his mouth, I didn’t even touch his lips.”

 

They were laying on Daniela’s bed, side by side as they gossiped under her cozy duvet. It were their last days of their Winter break and they were trying to enjoy them as much as they could.

 

“And?” Daniela urged her to go on, “What happened after?”

The young girl sighed as she threw her head back and hit the headboard.

“Nothing. We haven’t spoke since then.”

 

Daniela’s eyes widen in shock, “It’s been five days!” 

Kala bit her lip nervously; she had been doing that more recently and her teeth had left a tiny mark in the middle of her lower lip.

“Do you think he’s avoiding me?” She asked, suddenly scared to know her friend’s point of view.

Daniela sighed deeply as she considered the options, “I don’t know. Has it ever happened before? Have you ever spent so much time without talking to him?”

“Only when I travel to Mumbai.” 

Her friend didn’t say anything and that made Kala only more nervous.

“You think it’s a bad sign.”

 

“No no,” Daniela tried to reassure her, “I’m sure you will have the chance to talk about this when you see him.”

Kala avoided her eyes and said sheepishly, “What if I don’t want to talk about it?”

“What do you mean?”

“I… I’m not sure I want anything to change.”

 

Daniela rolled her eyes and gave her a small smile, “Cari ño , you kissed him.”

Kala opened her mouth, somehow offended and ready to remark, but then closed it immediately.

“Whether you like it or not, things are bound to change. Maybe not now, but soon.”

 

She knew her friend was right, she knew that one way or another, her friendship with Wolfgang wouldn’t be the same. She knew it from the moment she had kissed him, but had been too tipsy to care. 

 

Now, confronted once again with reality, she felt a mix of contrasting emotions: joy, at the chance of a possible happy ending for their story; a slight feeling of fear at the thought of what her parents might say about it, they liked him, but she knew they wouldn’t approve of their romantic relationship; and most of all, she felt dizzy with apprehension, what if they ruined everything? What if, they ended up breaking each other’s hearts?

She wasn’t in love with him yet, she reassured herself of that constantly, but she was sure she would inevitably fall for him－and she would find herself in a vulnerable position.

Kala couldn’t help but see it as another disadvantage in her long list of pros and cons.

 

* * *

 

 

Priya handed Kala cup of Chai as she sat next to her; it was the Sunday morning before her return to school and she was finishing her homework on the kitchen’s table.

 

“Thank you, Mama.” Kala answered with a small smile and kept carefully reading her notes.

Her mother gently caressed her hair, “You should take a break, Kala.” 

She nodded absently but her eyes didn’t leave the page.

Priya sighed and started talking anyway.

 

“We will go to India in July.” At this, Kala moved her head abruptly and looked at her mother. “W-What? Why?”

“Your cousin is getting married.”

Kala scrunched her nose, “What cousin?”

“Deepali.”

She instinctively rolled her eyes and her mother glared at her, warning her to be nice; there were very few cousins and distant cousins Kala could stand, but Deepali wasn’t one of them.

 

“It’s important for us to be there, you know. Especially after what happened with Nalini.” Priya said with a small grimace.

Nalini, Deepali’s sister, had married her boyfriend two years before despite her parents’ disapproval; she had run away with him to Paris, where the young man had been offered a job, and never looked back.

For many, her blatant disrespect was disgraceful; to Kala, it was admirable.

Sometimes, she wondered if she could be as brave as her cousin.

 

“At least she’s in love with her husband.” Kala whispered to herself, not thinking her mother could hear her.

“She disobeyed her parents and broke their hearts.” Priya frowned.

Kala turned to look at her mother and asked her, “Why would her happiness break their hearts?”

For a moment, Priya stayed quiet, thinking seriously about her daughter’s question.

“Parents always know what’s best for our children, we want only the best for you.”

 

Kala sighed deeply and shook her head, eyes suddenly filled with frustrated tears, “So, you would force me to marry whoever you want because it’s the best thing for me?”

 

“I would never force you to marry anyone,” Priya said as she took her daughter’s hand in hers, “but I would expect you to consider my and your father’s feelings. We would be heartbroken if you chose someone not worthy of you.”

 

Ever since she was a child, Kala had heard the words “duty” and “respect” next to the word “marriage”; her distant relatives would talk about other people’s marriage and harshly criticize them, as if they had any say in the matter; she wasn’t naive, she knew her own parents’ marriage had been arranged, but it was different. Her parents loved, respected and cared about each other and always had. 

 

She knew they wouldn’t arrange her or her sister’s marriage, they had moved to Germany so many years before to give them a different life, with different expectations and opportunities.

Still, as she left her childhood years behind, she couldn’t stop herself from thinking about the weight of her life choices and her parents’ role in them.

 

There was nothing more important to her than their happiness; she wanted them to be proud of her, she wanted so badly to please them.

But she had started wondering if in order to do that she had to sacrifice her own happiness, her own heart.

 

“Someone not worthy of me?” Kala’s voice quivered, “What are you trying to say, Mama?”

Priya shook slightly her head and struggled to find the right words, “You have to remember that marriage isn’t only about love. You can always learn how to love someone, with time.”

 

Kala abruptly stood up, “I think you made it clear, Mama. Thank you.”

She ran towards her room before her mother could stop her.

Closing the door behind her, she let her body fall on her bed and she covered her face with a pillow.

 

When she had befriended Felix and Wolfgang all these years before, she had known her mother would have never completely accept her friendship.

But with time, her mother had seemed to grow fond of the boys, she cared about them. And when Kala’s feelings for Wolfgang had started to bloom in her heart, she had hoped that maybe with time, her mother would have accepted that as well.

 

However, now more than ever, she knew her family would never approve of their relationship. 

And it seemed just like another thing to add on her list of cons.

 

* * *

 

 

Kala took a deep breath as she stared at Wolfgang and Felix talking in the school’s courtyard during one of their breaks; she had managed to avoid them all morning but she knew she couldn’t keep doing so.

With one final sigh, she walked towards them.

 

“Hey.” She greeted them sheepishly and tucked a strand of hair behind her left ear.

Both boys turned to look at the her, but only one smiled while the other stared at her with an unreadable look on his face.

 

“Look who’s alive!” Felix told her with a grin.

Kala crossed her arms, “You two haven’t spoken to me since New Year’s Eve.”

“I don’t know about him,” Felix pointed at his friend, “but I’ve been busy with my parents. They wanted to be a family for five days, go figure.” He rolled his eyes.

 

Kala gave him a small sympathetic smile and turned to look at Wolfgang, waiting for his excuse.

He shrugged and shook his head, “Sergei can be quite persuasive as well.”

His voice was flat and his eyes didn’t show any trace of honesty; he was lying to her and she wanted to know why.

They kept staring at each other for a couple of seconds, a silent conversation between them, and neither of them was willing to break the eye-contact.

 

“Do you think I should invite her to my birthday party?” Felix said absently as he looked to the girl on the other side of the courtyard.

His voice interrupted their unspoken conversation and they turned to follow his gaze.

“You’re her friend now, you could invite her for me.”

 

“Dani?” Kala said, her lips curled into a tiny smile, “Why don’t you ask her yourself?”

Felix snorted, “Why would I do that?”

“Because you clearly like her,” Wolfgang gave his should a nudge and added with a smirk, “Where is your confidence? You’ve never had problems with these things.”

 

Felix rolled his eyes and muttered, “I’m definitely not taking advice from you on things like this.”

Wolfgang frowned, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

His friend looked at him and shook his head, ignoring his offended tone.

 

“You should ask her Felix, she will accept.” Kala told him and grabbed his arm, “Go. You can do it.” She combed his hair with her fingers and straightened his coat.

He glanced one final time at his friends and gulped before walking towards Daniela.

 

Wolfgang waited a few seconds until Felix was completely out of their earshot before touching her arm, “Kala, we need to talk ab-” he said softly before she interrupted him.

“Look! She is smiling broadly!” She said, as if he hadn’t just spoken to her.

Wolfgang stared at her face for a few seconds before looking away reluctantly.

 

“He is making her laugh, that’s a good sign, right?” Kala asked him.

“Yeah.” He said, not putting much thought in it, and suddenly felt guilty for not caring enough about his best friend’s current situation.

He constantly glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, but never caught her looking at him, and his face couldn’t hide his slight disappointment.

 

After a couple of minutes, Wolfgang tried his best to smile as Felix approached them with a huge grin on his face.

“SHE SAID,” Felix realized how loud his voice was and lowered it, “She said she’s coming!”

Kala clapped and hugged him quickly, “That’s amazing!”

“And guess what?” Felix said enthusiastically, “We’re going on a date!” he said before she could answer.

 

Kala and Wolfgang opened their mouths in shock and briefly looked at each other before turning their faces to him again, “W-What?”

 

“Yes!”

“Just… just like that?” Wolfgang said, incredulous, “You didn’t even know if she would go to your party.”

Felix shrugged, pleasantly confused by Daniela’s answer.

“Dani is always full of surprises.” Kala shrugged as well and squeezed Felix’s arm.

Wolfgang shook his head and a sincere smile appeared on his face. He playfully shoved Felix and put an arm around his shoulders.

“I’m happy for you, brother.”

Kala put her arm around Felix’s waist as they started walking towards the school’s entrance. 

Her eyes were carefully avoiding Wolfgang’s. Again.

  
  


For weeks, Kala tried her best to ignore Wolfgang’s attempts at having a conversation alone with her. She never let Felix or Daniela leave them on their own, always following them whenever they went in order to avoid a possible confrontation with him.

 

She could see how it annoyed him; his jaw clenched every time she interrupted him and his eyes narrowed when she walked away from him.

His irritation got particularly intense when Kala had preferred to sit next to Ismail instead of him during class; she felt his gaze on her as the professor explained  _ Die Leiden des jungen Werthers, _ but when the bell rang, she subtly turned her head to look at him only to see he was already gone.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Felix B.:  _ what the fuck is going on btwn you and wolfie _

 

Kala sighed deeply and put her phone back inside the pocket of her light pink coat.

“What’s going on?” Daniela had been noticing her friend’s strange mood for days.

They were walking home after school; the heavy snow that had fallen that morning had caused delays with the buses and they had decided to calmly walk together instead of waiting for what could be hours.

“Nothing.” She curtly replied.

“Kala…” Daniela looked at her with inquisitive eyes.

 

Kala sighed once again and told her friend about Felix’s text. 

“Why does Felix think something is wrong?”

She blushed, embarrassed by her own behavior, and whispered “I might… have been avoiding Wolfgang.”

 

“Seriously? You were worried about him avoiding you!” Daniela let out a small laugh.

Kala furrowed her brows and looked down at her glove-covered hands, “I don’t want to talk to him about… you know.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m scared of what I might say.”

 

She was scared of being  _ completely _ honest with him; she was scared of telling him everything that laid in her heart, all her feelings －all her thoughts about him, _ them _ .

She was scared of rejection, she was scared of him reciprocating her same feelings. 

Kala was simply terrorized by their friendship changing, she saw change as the beginning of the end.

 

“When I’m nervous I tend to rant and blurt out things I’d rather keep to myself, you know that.”

“You think too much, my friend.” Daniela told her affectionately.

Kala hugged herself, knowing exactly how her brain worked; she knew she overthought everything, but that was part of who she was. She couldn’t change it as much as she wanted to.

 

“I envy your spontaneity so much, Dani.” 

Daniela didn’t say anything for a few seconds; a sad smile appeared on her face and her voice changed, “Sometimes spontaneity is a curse,” she said as memories came flooding back to her, “you end up regretting too many things.”

Kala touched her arm gently, and thought about asking her what she was talking about, but decided to respect her friend’s vagueness.

 

Daniela held her chin high as she fixed her hair, “But enough about me, we were talking about you.”

“What if we don’t talk about anything at all?” Kala rolled her eyes playfully, “Actually, let’s talk about you and Felix.”

 

“He’s your best friend, you should know everything by now.” 

“He and Wolfgang have been so busy trying to get good grades while having football practice four times a week that I haven’t seen them much.”  She said with a slight tone of disappointment.

Daniela nodded, “That must have helped with your whole “Let’s Pretend Wolfgang Doesn’t Exist” plan.”

Kala narrowed her eyes and pointed at her accusingly, “We’re talking about you.”

 

Daniela grinned, “Felix is cute. And very funny.”

“Cute?” Kala repeated with a grimace.

“Yes. He’s not like other boys, he doesn’t try to prove anything to me or himself. I like spending time with him.”

“Felix is like that,” She remarked with an hint of affection and pride, “He truly has an heart of gold.”

 

Daniela looked at her and smiled softly, “You really care about him. About them.”

“They’re my best friends, my brothers,” Kala said in a low, heartful voice.

 

All their years of friendship suddenly flashed in her mind; all their afternoons spent watching movies on the couch, their conversations under the starry sky during a summer night; the hard days when they were always there, supporting one another with silly jokes and terrible words of advice.

She remembered fondly the first time Felix got drunk when they were fifteen, he had called her in the middle of the night to tell her she was like a sister to him, while Wolfgang grunted in the background and told him to go to sleep.

 

“Talking about the devil…” Daniela nudged Kala in the arm and nodded towards someone who had just exited a coffee house on the other side of the road, “Well, one of them.”

 

Kala got abruptly distracted from her memories and her eyes widened as she followed her friend’s gaze. 

Wolfgang quickly crossed the street and walked towards them.

 

Immediately, she looked back at Daniela, who had a sly smirk on her face.

“Don’t you dare, Daniela Velasquez.” She warned her in a low voice.

 

“Hi.” Wolfgang greeted them, hands inside his black leather jacket.

“Hello, Wolfgang.” The smirk was still on Daniela’s face and he gave her a perplexed look before glancing at Kala, who simply smiled at him.

 

“What are you doing?” He asked them.

Daniela shrugged, “We were walking towards our homes, do you want to join us?”

 

Kala stopped herself from rolling her eyes at her friend’s clear intention and wasn’t even surprised when, after a few steps, Daniela stopped out of the sudden and gently smacked her own forehead with the palm of her head.

 

“Oh! I completely forgot about the thing I have to buy for my mom!”

“The  _ thing _ you have to buy for your mom?” Kala raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms, completely unamused.

“Yeah. The thing.” Daniela not-so-subtly winked, “See you tomorrow at school!”

She gave them a kiss on their cheeks and Kala mouthed to her “I hate you.” before she left.

 

“She’s a terrible actress.” Wolfgang commented as he looked after her.

“She can improve.” 

 

They resumed their walk and for various minutes no one said a word. 

Wolfgang occasionally glanced at Kala, the words were on his lips as he tried to find enough courage to start the conversation he so badly wanted to have.

 

When they approached a nearby park, Wolfgang pointed at it and smiled gently, “Do you want to walk through the park? We can get something from the coffee stands.”

 

Kala seemed to have a brief conversation with herself but at the end she nodded, not entirely convinced, and followed him to the park’s entrance.

  
  


“I thought you just had a coffee. I saw you come out of the coffee house.” Kala pointed at his cup as she took a sip of her hot chocolate.

Wolfgang shrugged, “I might have a problem, who knows.”

“You definitely have.” Kala shook her head amusedly.

 

“Wait, I forgot to take a napkin,” Kala told him and went back to the coffee stand. 

More than once, she had gotten her lips stained with chocolate and Wolfgang would clean them using his thumb as he teased her about it. 

She wanted to avoid situations like these that day.

 

Kala accidentally bumped into an older man when she turned from the counter, causing him to spill his hot beverage all over himself.

“I’m so sorry!” Kala exclaimed as she gave him the napkins she held in her hands.

The man gave a snort of disgust and anger, he quickly tried to clean himself but the coffee had left a visible stain on his blue coat and his white scarf.

 

“You should watch where you’re walking,” He growled.

Kala frowned and stepped away from him, “I apologized, Sir. I can pay for your sca-”

 

“I doubt you can afford it, sweetheart.” The man snorted and told her brusquely.

“There is no need to be rude, I’m terribly sorry about what happened but it was an accident.” She said in a low voice, hugging herself. Kala was not used to people treating her that way and she didn’t quite know how to react.

 

His eyes looked her up and down indignantly, “That’s how it works for your people, here in Germany things are different.”

Kala let out a surprised gasp, she didn’t expect such a sudden change of the conversation.

“I’m German.” She remarked firmly.

“Having a German citizenship doesn’t make you German.” The man quickly assumed that was what she meant.

 

“I’ve lived here all my life and I’m sure I speak the language even better than you, Sir.” Kala said loudly and she could feel her cheeks get warmer; anger, humiliation and a slight fear overwhelmed her.

 

The man was opening his mouth to reply when Wolfgang approached them.

“Is everything alright?” He noticed Kala’s hands were trembling and her breathing was rapid, shallow; he knew her well enough to understand she was deeply upset.

 

“Y-Yes.” Kala gulped.

“Your _friend_ ,” the man accused her with a hint of disgust, “made me spill my coffee all over myself.” 

Wolfgang straightened his shoulders, clearly not appreciating the man’s tone, “I’m sure it was an accident. And it’s nothing you can’t fix in a laundromat,  _ Sir. _ ” he added with the same intonation.

 

“Will you pay it for it? Or the idiot that did this?” He said, pointing a finger at her.

Wolfgang pushed him forcefully, “Don’t be fucking rude.” he said in a low, warning voice.

 

“Wolfgang,” Kala gently grabbed his arm and tried to calm him down. 

His eyes never left the man’s and his hands were clenched; the older man was a few inches taller than him but that didn’t seem to stop Wolfgang from threatening him.

“Calm yourself, kid.” The man told him with a sneer.

 

Before Wolfgang could say, or do, anything Kala put herself in front of him.

“I will give you the money, Sir.” She said irritatedly.

 

Wolfgang shook his head, “Don’t give him shit, Kala. It’s not like he can’t afford it.”, he remarked as he noticed the luxurious watch on the man’s wrist.

 

The man smirked spitefully at Wolfgang and didn’t spare her a glance, “Keep it. You probably need it more than me.”

 

“You fucking-” Wolfgang started to say when Kala stopped him again.

“Very kind of you, Sir.,” Kala said with a disgusted scowl on her face, “I don’t know what  _ my  _ people would do without your generosity, you racist piece of shit.” 

 

And before anyone could say anything else, she grabbed Wolfgang’s arm and quickly walked away.

  
  


“You should have let me punch that asshole.” Wolfgang frowned as she finished telling him what had happened with the man before he had arrived.

 

Kala bit her lower lip, “I know my parents have been through things like that many times,” she let out a deep breath, “but it had never happened to me and-”

 

Her voice was full of emotion and she closed her eyes to prevent herself from crying.

“It hurts. I’m not ashamed of where I’m from, I’m proud of it,” she gulped, “but it hurts when people imply I don’t belong here because of the color of my skin or my birthplace.”

 

“This is my home.” She said as she finally let the tears fall on her cheeks. 

Wolfgang quickly pulled her towards him and hugged her tightly.

 

Her parents had tried to shield her from the harsh reality all her life; they had always tried to protect her from the discrimination, subtle or not, immigrants had to endure on various occasions.

Priya and Sanyam had built a golden cage around her in more ways than one.

 

But Kala wasn’t a child anymore; she was aware that not everyone shared the man’s thoughts, her friends were enough proof of that, but she was slowly starting to realize that racism and xenophobia were, unfortunately, things that she and her family had to face and defend themselves from.

 

“People say all kind of shit,” Wolfgang said as he caressed her hair, “but that only shows who they are. Don’t let them tell you where you belong, don’t give them that power.”

He gently lifted her chin up with his index finger and smiled softly at her, “You’re a thousand times better than them anyway.”

 

Wolfgang’s intense gaze and his words filled with awe and admiration made her heart beat dangerously fast and suddenly, she felt  _ something  _ start fluttering in her stomach; “Butterflies, idiot.” a small voice inside her whispered.

 

Kala quickly dried the tears on her cheeks and distanced herself from Wolfgang, she felt short of breath as if she had just finished running and, not for the first time, she was scared by the intensity of the feelings she felt around her best friend.

  
  


They started walking again, this time in a comfortable silence. The park was almost empty and all they could hear was the murmur of the wind passing through the trees.

 

“I think that was the first time I’ve ever heard you swear in five years.” Wolfgang broke the silence, a tiny smile appearing on his mouth.

 

Kala turned to look at him and pouted, “I swear when I’m angry.”

Her offended tone made him laugh and he pinched her cheeks affectionately, “And you look like an angry puppy when you do.”

 

“I’m more dangerous than you think.” She crossed her arms indignantly.

“Right. You build homemade bombs, I forgot.” 

Kala blushed and covered her face with her hands, “I still can’t believe Daya told you that.”

 

When she was ten years old, she had had a  _ little _ domestic accident with one of her scientific experiments, it had caused a  _ small  _ explosion inside her kitchen and her eyebrows had burnt off, luckily they had grown back in a month but her sister still teased her about it. 

 

“After that, I would definitely think twice before anger you.” He unsuccessful tried to stop his smirk.

“I don’t appreciate your sarcastic tone, Wolfgang Bogdanow.” She gave him a menacing look and put her hands on her waist.

 

Wolfgang looked at her and started laughing, “Damn, you’re really scaring me right now, look,” he showed her his very still hands, “I’m trembling.”

She stopped walking but he was too busy laughing at her to notice it and kept going.

 

“Hey!” She screamed at him to catch his attention and he turned around, an amused smile still on his lips.

That smile was quickly replaced with a surprised look on his face as she threw a snowball at him.

 

“Kala Rashmi Dandekar, how dare-” Another snowball hit him on the face before he could finish his sentence, “Alright. This is war.”

 

He swiftly gathered enough snow in his hands to form a ball and threw it at her; she let out a cheerful scream that made instantly grin like a fool.

Soon, they were running on the snowy grass, throwing snowballs and laughing carefreely as they tried to avoid being hit. 

They looked like a couple of small children but they couldn’t care less; their joyous screams echoed in the silent park and they were feeling a certain kind of happiness that they had never felt before.

 

Kala threw snow at him once again and pushed him to the ground; before he could fall, however, he grabbed her arm and brought her down with him.

“This is completely against the rules.” He said as he laughed but she just kept hitting his face with a handful of snow.

“Maybe now you’ll be scared of me!” Kala giggled on top of him.

Wolfgang grabbed her wrists and pushed off of him into the soft ground, causing her to laugh even louder, “You win, you win.”

 

They laid side by side on the snow, completely exhausted; their chests rising up and down as they tried to stop laughing and catch their breath, their cheeks were a lovely shade of red and their hair was a complete mess.

 

Kala and Wolfgang stared at the grey sky above their heads and their laughter slowly stopped, their happy bubble inevitably burst and he thought it was the best moment to talk about what had happened almost a month before.

 

“Kala, we need to talk about New Year’s Eve,” Wolfgang whispered.

She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply, knowing that conversation had to happen, “Yes.”

 

Wolfgang licked his lips before he started talking again, “I don’t regret it. Not all. If that’s what you’re thinking.”, when she didn’t say a word, he kept going, “I didn’t call you or go to your home because I thought you needed time, not because of my family.”

 

“Wolfgang.” She said feebly.

“I don’t know what  _ this _ ,” he gently held her head, “is. I don’t know what I’m feeling but we can-”

 

Kala squeezed his hand and shook her head, making him stop talking.

“You’re my best friend.”

“And you’re mine.”

“And I don’t want to lose that.” She murmured as she tried to avoid his eyes.

 

Kala heard him sigh and she saw him ran a hand through his hair out of the corner of her eye; if she concentrated hard enough she could hear his thoughts.

 

“Is that what you want?” He hesitated before asking her, not sure if he wanted to hear her answer.

 

“Yes.” Her voice was quivering and she nodded to reassure herself she was making the right decision.

 

Wolfgang didn’t insist, didn’t ask her to tell him the truth; he was confused enough about his own feelings to try figuring out hers.

 

He nodded like she had just did, his left thumb drew loving circles on her hand and he felt her shiver; snowflakes started falling from the sky, gently laying on their faces as they silently agreed on their future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Rashmi means "ray of light" in Hindi, which suits our (and Wolfgang's) ray of light.  
> \- Kala's struggles with racism and xenophia are some things that, as the child of immigrants like she is in this story, I wanted to write about. It was a very important topic I wanted to talk about and, even though I'm not sure that's what I had in mind, I hope you still liked it.  
> \- Same thing with her struggles with her culture. I constantly talk to Indian women to assure I'm dealing with this type of storyline in the most respectful and accurate way possible.  
> \- This story is, in fact, veeeeeery slow burn! I'm so sorry. But I promise you they will get their stuff together, eventually.


	11. February 2006

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wolfgang is forced to acknoweldge his feelings by an unexpected friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm so sorry for the wait and I hope you like this!

He felt the cold ground through his heavy jeans when he sat in front of the grave, he could have stayed on his feet but he didn’t know exactly how long he would talk to her.

 

Snow covered the tombstone and he delicately wiped it off as he laid fresh flowers under her name; he let out an heavy sigh, his eyes suddenly glistening, and he wondered, not for the first time, when his heart would not hurt at the mere thought of her, he wondered if he would ever get over her death.

 

“Hi, Mama.” Wolfgang said quietly, as if his loud voice could wake her from her sleep, “It’s been five years already, It’s still hard to believe.”

 

It wasn’t the first time he visited his mother, obviously, he went there quite often; sometimes for a short visit, to wish her a good rest, he didn’t particularly believed in Heaven but he hoped she was happy wherever she was, or at least, happier than she had been alive.

 

Other times, he would stay longer and talk to her for hours.

Every time he struggled with something, every time his thoughts become too dark or heavy to ignore, he would come here and pour his heart out, without any restrainment.

He would talk and talk, sometimes he would even cry, about everything that angered him or frustrated him, and he would ask her for help. 

 

Not for advice, he knew damn well she couldn’t give him that, but he would ask her for strength; the first time he had done that had been two months after her death, Anton had turned his life into a living hell and he simply couldn’t get stand it anymore. So, he went to her for comfort as he often did when she had been alive.

That day, he had felt her right beside him while he cried and hugged himself. He didn’t know if his mind was playing him tricks based on his need for his mother, he just knew that he felt better, he wasn’t lonely anymore and he felt strong enough to keep going for one more day.

 

“I hope you’re enjoying your life over there, you know I do.” He straightened his back and looked at her photo, his eyes focusing on her melancholic ones, so different yet so similar to his own.

 

“Nothing much has changed since the last time I came her, really,” Wolfgang sighed, “I managed to raise my Chemistry grade, thanks to Kala of course, Felix is finally dating the girl of his dreams. Also thanks to Kala, in some way.” he grinned fondly as he often did when he mentioned her.

 

Both Kala and Felix had wanted to accompany him, they didn’t want him to spend his mother’s death anniversary alone, but he had gently told them not to worry about it, he had wanted to be alone with his mother.

 

During the first months after Sofia’s death, Wolfgang had felt like a fool talking to his mother this way, as if she were still alive, but he loved the comfort it gave him, and maybe part of him liked to pretend she was really listening to him, ready to give him some motherly advice.

Honestly, he missed her too much to even care about what people could think of his conversations with her.

 

His voice suddenly changed, just like the look on his face, “My Grandfather insists on me being present in business meetings. You know what he’s trying to do,” he shook his head, resigned and used to his family’s behavior, “he wants me to be part of the family, in every sense. I couldn’t care less.”

 

Living with his grandfather Hassan and with his other relatives had never been easy; strangers constantly arrived to meet the oldest Bogdanow and talk about  _ business _ , while his uncle Sergei sulked in the shadows at the lack of responsibility his father gave him.

 

Steiner wasn’t any better, at only nineteen-years-old he had been in and out of prison more times than Wolfgang cared to remember, he constantly tried to show his worth to their grandfather and didn’t care about the consequences; he knew that as a Bogdanow, he would always find a way out of everything.

 

He thought he would become the head of the family one day, Sergei aspired to be as respected and feared as Hassan, he wanted to preserve the family’s legacy more than anyone else.

But his grandfather had other plans, had another grandson in mind as his successor.

 

It was no secret that Hassan admired Wolfgang more than Steiner, not only he resembled him physically ㇐ most of their mobsters friends constantly pointed that out, much to Steiner’s annoyance, but he also had his same quiet, cool, personality.

 

Wolfgang was as smart and cunning as his grandfather; like him, he had perfected his skill of hiding his true emotions in front of people, like him, he knew what he did or did not want, and once he had decided something, it was hard to change his mind.

 

Hassan saw great potential in him, he was sure he could turn him into a more refined version of himself and he saw the family’s future in Wolfgang.

 

“I’ve tried to tell him I’m not interested,” he said, shaking slightly his head, “but you know I’m walking on a thin line until I turn eighteen. And Grandfather is not someone I want to piss off.”

 

He couldn’t care less about his uncle or his cousin, but he couldn’t deny the slight fear his grandfather made him feel; he reminded him too much of Anton.

 

Wolfgang decided to change topic, not wanting to worry his mother with Bogdanows’ problems even in her death, and put his hands inside his leather jacket.

 

“I forgot to tell you about my conversation with Kala,” he started toying with an object inside his left pocket.

 

“We almost kissed at New Year’s Eve, do you remember that? Well, after she decided to ignore me for almost a month,” an hint of annoyance was clear in his words, “we talked in the park. She said she didn’t want to change anything about our friendship. I understand why she made that decision.”

 

His own voice didn’t quite convince him and he quickly added, “I understand, I really do. I don’t know what I feel for her, but I know I don’t want to lose her.”

 

The situation was strange and unfamiliar to him, he had always been sure of everything in his life but these conflicting emotions had taken him by surprise and he still tried to ignore them as much as possible as she had asked, not ready to give them a name.

 

Wolfgang let out a deep breath, “And if that means I have to forget about that night, then I will.”

He pulled out of his pocket the Ganesha miniature statue Kala had given him five years before and gently touched it.

 

It wasn’t a complete lie, he did not know what he felt for his best friend; the only thing he knew for sure was she was different from everyone else, what she made him feel was different from anything he had ever felt before.

 

The chaste kiss she gave him on New Year’s Eve had done nothing else but confuse him even more, part of him had wanted to kiss her deeply and he had felt shocked by his own thoughts.

He had really thought they could have a conversation about it afterwards, as adults did, but instead she had asked him to forget and to ignore their emotions until they eventually went away. And he had respected her decision.

Perhaps, too unsure and scared of his own feelings to risk their friendship.

 

But as he traced the God’s face with his fingers, he wondered if they had made the right decision.

 

* * *

 

 

“I can’t believe the things I’m doing for a girl.” Felix said while he tied the laces of his ice-skates but slightly smiled when Daniela kissed him on the cheek.

 

“I’m so happy! Finally, we’re doing something different for once.” Kala replied with a bright smile, she was ready to go into the skating rink and her excitement could be compared to that of a child.

 

Wolfgang was watching them with an amused grin on his face and a cigarette in his hand, “I’m not doing this.”

It was an outdoor skating rink and he intended to smoke while he watched his friends falling in front of him.

 

“WHAT? Why not, Wolfgang Bogdanow?” She scowled and crossed her arms.

 

“Because I won’t make a fool of myself, Kala Dandekar.” 

 

Kala pouted, the way he secretly found adorable, “Please, don’t let me be their third wheel.”

She subtly pointed at Daniela and Felix, who were currently whispering and sharing flirty smiles, completely obvious to her and Wolfgang.

 

Wolfgang rolled his eyes at both of his friends and shrugged, “I’m not going anywhere Kala. I’ll just laugh at all of you from here.”

 

She narrowed her eyes and childishly stuck her tongue out at him; confidently, she tried to get up from her seat only to fall back down, not used to the blades of the skates.

 

He fleered heartily, provinking her to glare at him, smirked and offered her an hand, “Do you need help?”

 

“Oh shut up.” Kala reluctantly took his hand and let him lead her to the rink, Daniela and Felix following them behind.

 

They all reached for the railing as soon as they got on the ice, trying to balance themselves, and glared at Wolfgang everytime he smirked or snorted amusedly at them.

 

“Easy being a cocky little shit from that side of the railing.” Felix said through clenched teeth.

“Yes. Quite easy.” 

 

Kala was the first one to actually move, her childlike excitement stronger than her fear to fall, and bent her knees slightly while she bit her lower lip in concentration.

 

She put one foot after the other and tried to move slowly at first, her arms open as she tried not to lose her balance.

 

Daniela and Felix stayed still for a little longer and observed how other people skated before trying to repeat their movements; they starting sliding on the thin ice together, holding hands, much to Wolfgang’s amusement.

 

Not that Wolfgang paid much attention to them, his eyes were completely focused on Kala; she was frowning and her body was tense with nerves, clearly she had thought ice-skating would have been easier.

 

He shook his head and smiled softly at her effort, she had never been good at any kind of sports so he had seen this coming. But she still tried hard, determined to learn and be good at it.

 

After ten minutes, her situation hadn’t improved and to make things worse, Daniela and Felix were already skating around her with relative ease.

They tried to give her advices and, while she appreciated the help, Wolfgang knew Kala was annoyed that they had learned before her.

 

She could be very competitive at times and didn’t appreciate when people managed to be effortlessly good at something she had to work hard to accomplish; sometimes she would ignore these feelings because she didn’t care enough, like with football, but she wanted to be good at ice-skating and was trying hard to mask her annoyance.

 

Kala would have never admitted that particular trait of her personality, she considered it childish and immature, and she constantly repressed it, so no one would know that side of her. 

But Wolfgang knew. He could read her so easily, like a book written in a language only he knew.

 

“Come here.” Felix laughed and grabbed Kala’s hand, “If you fall, we’ll fall together.”

That seemed to slightly ease her nerves and she let him direct their movements.

 

They started skating together, Dani right next to them, and before they knew it they were laughing and spinning on the rink.

 

Wolfgang stared at them with a small smile on his face as they enjoyed themselves, Felix tried to skate backwards and his skinny legs trembled with the effort, successfully making him look like a fawn.

 

Kala noticed Wolfgang looking at them and decided to skate towards him to keep him company; she had almost reached him when she lost her balance and slipped on the ice, twisting her ankle as she tried to stop herself from falling.

 

She fell with a loud thud and she bit her lower lip in pain, Daniela and Felix helped her to get up immediately and accompanied her to the rink’s closest exit.

 

Wolfgang walked towards them with a worried frown in his face, “Are you ok?” he asked her while he grabbed her hand and made her sit on a bench.

 

Kala nodded through the tears and hastily removed her skates, Felix and Daniela doing the same next to her.

 

“You’re about to cry, Kala. Tell me where it hurts.” He said with a firm but caring voice and gently touched her ankle.

 

She let out a heavy sigh, “It doesn’t hurt much.” and her voice quivered as she added, “Everyone was staring at me.”

 

Felix laughed, it had been quite the comical scene actually, but quickly stopped when Wolfgang glared at him and Daniela slapped him on the arm.

 

“We’re going to get you a bottle of water and some ice, darling.” Daniela stood up and patted her head affectionately, she left with Felix and let Wolfgang take care of her.

 

“You’re not the first person that falls in this place, I can assure you that.”

“Yes but it was too embarrassing.” Kala said through clenched teeth, she felt her ankle throbbing and her face was still red from the embarrassment.

 

Wolfgang shook his disapprovingly, “You should worry more about your ankle.”

“It’s ok. It doesn’t hurt.” It did hurt, though, and he almost laughed at her pained pout.

“Alright. I’ll pretend to believe you.”

 

“You were doing great, Kala.” he said with a small smile, “before you fell down in front of everyone, of course.” 

She opened her mouth, dramatically outraged by his teasing, and playfully punched his shoulder.

 

They stayed in a comfortable silence while they waited for their friends to return, her leg still on his lap as he occasionally glanced at it to assure it hadn’t swollen up more.

 

“Wolfgang,” Kala suddenly said in a low voice, hesitant.

He turned his head to look at her and frowned at her sudden nervousness, “What?”

“Three days ago,” she said incredibly fast, “Ismail asked me if I wanted to go on a date with him.”

 

Wolfgang simply stared at her, his heart suddenly filling with an unknown emotion; his entire body felt suddenly paralyzed but he put on the best impassive look on his face.

“And?”

“I said yes.”

 

She quickly added, “But just as friends! I made it clear to him that it’s just going to be a lunch between friends.”

 

He didn’t say anything at first, and looked at the people ice-skating in front of them. 

What was he supposed to say to her? Wolfgang wondered.

He certainly didn’t like the thought of her going on a “friendly” date with Ismail but he knew he couldn’t voice his disapproval.

 

If he did, she would have asked him why was he so bothered about it, why he didn’t want her to go out with other guys. And, truth to be told, he didn’t know the answer.

He could say it was just brotherly worry but that wasn’t true either. 

 

The only thing he knew for sure was that he felt his blood boil at the idea of her caring for someone else that wasn’t him; for years, she had been at his and Felix’s side, and he told himself that was it. It was just innocent jealousy every friend felt in these circumstances. That must have been it.

It had nothing to do with the strange, confusing feelings he had started to have for his best friend.

 

“I hope you have fun.” Wolfgang said to her, avoiding her eyes.

She exhaled, clearly she had been waiting for a different response, and he noticed her trembling voice, “Oh, thank you.”

 

Felix and Daniela came back, and they didn’t talk about it again.

 

* * *

 

 

Wolfgang woke up from his afternoon nap at half past ten, he had wanted to study for his upcoming Biology test but the night he had been stayed up drinking with Felix until four in the morning. And when the school day had finally finished, he only managed to fall down on his bed and recover all his lost hours of sleep.

 

“How do you know you’re in love?” Felix had asked him the night before while he took a sip of his beer.

“What do I know? I’ve never been in love.”

Felix had hummed and sighed dreamily, “I think I’m in love with Dani.”

Wolfgang had snorted, “You’ve been dating for two weeks, Felix.”

“And? Love doesn’t follow time nor rules.” 

He had stayed quiet at that, his friend sounded so sure about his statement that he didn’t want to fight him on that.

“Don’t be a fool.” Wolfgang had said to him, already worried that his best friend could get his heart broken, and part of him had wondered how could someone be so sure of his feelings after such a short time.

 

He went down to the kitchen to look for food sure that everyone was already asleep only to find his Grandfather sitting at the table, drinking a glass of whiskey.

Hassan didn’t seem as surprised as Wolfgang was, it almost seemed like he had been waiting for his grandson to show up.

 

“Grandfather.” Wolfgang greeted him with a nod of his head and moved towards the fridge.

He opened it, checked what was inside and decided to make himself an ham sandwich. Simple and quick to make. He wanted to go back to his room as fast as possible.

 

But before he could leave, Hassan stopped him with a sign of his hand, and told him to sit at the table with him.

 

Wolfgang considered declining his grandfather’s offer but he knew he would have seen it as lack of respect and, since he was the only family member Wolfgang didn’t want to anger, he sat in front of him.

 

He was chewing on his sandwich when Hassan started to talk, “This year you will turn eighteen years old and I’ve come to the conclusion that I haven’t raised you as well as I wanted to do in these past five years.”

 

That was his grandfather: direct and blunt, ready to voice his disappointment to people whenever he wanted to and make them feel guilty of their inadequacy.

 

But Wolfgang was used to it by then and simply took another bite of his sandwich, completely unaffected by his words.

 

“When I was your age I was working at a factory, building arms for the army, doing everything that was necessary to give my family a loaf of bread.”

 

Hassan had told him stories about his adolescence during World War II since he had been a child; he told him about the poverty his family had to endure during the war in the Soviet Union, about the horrifying things he had to witness, about how that had shaped him into the man he was and helped him to build the family’s business.

 

For him, every single thing that was done for the sake of the family was justified. Bogdanows had to support each other, that’s what he had always said. 

 

Wolfgang found these stories interesting from an historical point of view but he didn’t care much about how his grandfather had become a criminal, he never did.

 

“And you can’t even shoot a gun,” Hassan said with a shake of his head, “That’s going to change.” he said firmly and poured another glass of whiskey.

 

“What if I don’t want it to change?” Wolfgang murmured. He knew he wasn’t innocent, he knew his hands weren’t clean. Still, he didn’t want more blood on them.. He didn’t want to become like his grandfather, like Anton.

 

His mother had tried so hard to leave him out of it, Sofia hadn’t wanted to see her son locked up in a prison, dead or destroyed with guilt.

 

When he had been only six years old, his father had failed to crack a S&D safe and the police had caught him right in the crime scene, he had been arrested and sentenced to only three years of prison, thanks to the family’s lawyer.

 

Wolfgang remembered these years as the happiest of his life; for a short time, it had been only him and his mother, living in peace, without Anton’s abusive presence in their lives.

 

But it all had ended too fast, as all the good things did, and Anton had been released from jail after one year and a half because of his “good behaviour” ㇐ just another name to describe all the threats and money the Bogdanows had sent to his judge.

 

Anton had come out of prison meaner and more violent, the weight of his failure was hard to carry and he felt humiliated in the eyes of the other crime families of Berlin.

He had stopped working for his family and had started drinking more, leading his wife and son into a dark, miserable abyss with him.

 

“You will. Whether you like it or not.” Hassan slid the glass towards Wolfgang and waited for him to drink all of it before standing up.

 

“Goodnight,  внук”

 

Wolfgang stayed in the silent kitchen for a couple of minutes that had felt like hours to him; the strong, old whiskey burned down his throat as he stared at his reflection on the glass in his hands.  And the more he observed his own face, the more it reminded him of his grandfather.

 

* * *

 

 

The sweet smell of cinnamon mixed with the strong one of his coffee were enough to instantly warm him up in that cold, rainy day. And Kala’s presence eased his nerves more than anything else could.

 

“I don’t want to rant,” she said, and proceeded to rant, “but this is the third time Felix bails on us to hang out with Dani. I know they’re happily dating right now and I’m incredibly enthusiastic for them, don’t get me wrong. I just don’t think it’s fair, that’s all. We both know he wouldn’t tolerate such behavior from us.”

 

Wolfgang curled his lips, completely amused by her dramatic indignance, and hid his mouth behind his cup of coffee.

 

“You think I’m overreacting.”

“Absolutely. You’re spending too much time with Lito.”

 

Kala playfully rolled her eyes at him and took a bite of her cinnamon bun, “I miss him.” she said with a sigh.

It was his turn to roll his eyes then, “He’s not dead, Kala.”

 

“I know! I just miss when it was the three of us against the world.” 

“You mean, me and Felix against the world and you chiding us for every stupid thing we did.”

“If it wasn’t for me you two would be dead. Or worse, in jail.”

“You’re right, Hermione.”

 

Wolfgang smirked as he teased her and she frowned, throwing a napkin at him, “Why am I your friend again?”

“Because without me your life would be dull and meaningless.” He shrugged casually.

“Right.” She murmured under her breath and he could have sworn she was blushing.

 

He took another sip of his coffee and stared at her while she attentively ate her bun, something she always did when particularly hungry.

“You’ve been quiet lately.” She said suddenly, her eyes still looking down.

“Have I?”

Kala nodded, “More quiet than usual, at least. And you missed school twice this week.”

 

Wolfgang let out a sigh and decided not to let her worry about the problems he was currently facing, “I’m alright. Just, not really in the mood to go to class. That’s all.”

 

“It’s our last year, Wolfgang,” she scolded him affectionately, “don’t mess it up.”

He raised his eyebrows and straightened his back, “I just want to pass and be done with this shit. I can do that with the grades I currently have.”

 

“But you could do so much more, be so much more. You know that.”

Wolfgang shook his head and gave her a sardonic smile, “I think you’re the only one who knows that, Kala.”

“That’s because I know you have great potential, you just don’t use your skills as you should.”

 

“We have our Abitur in two months and-”

“I know, I know.” He said curtly.

“Don’t interrupt me. You and Felix should start taking it more seriously.”

 

Wolfgang waited for her to stop talking and tried to sound as serious as possible, “Are you done?”

Kala let out a frustrated groan and threw her head back, “Oh Ganesha, why do I even bother.”

“Because you care too much about us. It’s a curse.”

She nodded, resigned at the truth and not even bothering to deny it.

 

He stole a piece of her cinnamon bun and put it in his mouth, ignoring the annoyed look on her face.

“You always do that. Refuse to buy yourself something to eat and take mine instead.”

Wolfgang shrugged as he kept chewing, completely unbothered.

 

“I need to find a job.” He told her suddenly.

“Now? Why?”

“I want to get out of that house the minute I turn eighteen.” 

His words worried Kala and made her think something bad had happen.

 

“Is everything alright?” She frowned and asked him.

“Yes. That has always been my plan, you know that.”

Kala nodded and started thinking about where he could work; a series of jobs came up to her mind but none sounded as good as the first idea she had had.

 

“You could work for my dad.” She proposed casually and Wolfgang widened his eyes, taken completely by surprise.

“What?”

“He told me he was looking for a waiter, I’m sure that he will accept if I talk to him.”

Wolfgang was shocked by her tone and shook his head, for some reason she really thought it was a good idea.

 

“Come on, Wolfgang. My father loves you like a son!”

“Exactly. I don’t want to ruin that with my lack of discipline and professionality.”

 

It was true, Wolfgang had always had problems with respecting times and hold his tongue when he provoked. 

Kala could already see him fighting with a client or arriving thirty minutes late for his shift with an hangover, but she ignored her doubts and stood by her initial proposal.

“Just think about that, ok?” She smiled gently at him and grabbed his hand.

 

Wolfgang stared at their joined hands and focused on the softness of her skin, on the way his stomach twisted pleasantly at the most minimum contact; silently asking himself when she had started to have such effect on him.

 

* * *

 

He had spent more than fifty minutes running on the treadmill, his heart was pounding loudly in his chest and he could feel the sweat dripping down his temples, his back.

 

Hassan had woken him up at eight in the morning that Saturday and ordered his presence in the mansion’s backyard. There, one of his grandfather’s men had been waiting for him with several different types of guns laid on a table and Wolfgang had spent the entire morning perfecting his shooting skills despite his protests.

“A natural talent.” His grandfather had called him and he had felt nauseous at such compliment.

When the lesson had finally ended, he ran off to gather his things and left the house, headed to the gym.

 

Wolfgang loved going to gym, he loved using physical exercise as a way to let out all his worries and troubled thoughts; he pushed his body to the limit, running faster and punching harder, and stopped only when all he felt was his physical pain, his muscles begging for a rest.

 

He moved towards the punching bag in the middle of the room and started throwing punches at it with all the force he possessed as he tried to forget his morning.

 

“Looks like someone is angry.” Someone said behind him and he noticed the slight amusement in their voice.

He didn’t stop, though, and kept hitting the bag, harder than he had done before.

 

“What has you so hot and bothered, Bogdanow?” The boy said smugly.

“Shut the fuck up, Malas.” He stopped briefly to growl at him.

 

Ismail let out a small chuckle and sat on a chair nearby.

He was as sweaty as Wolfgang and his toned chest was visible through the thin material of his white tank top.

Girls at school constantly gushed about his looks, his beauty different from Wolfgang’s with his olive skin and his magnetic black eyes.

And just like Wolfgang, Ismail was quite aware of his beauty and the effect it had on people.

 

“I just want to talk to you, mate.” Ismail crossed his arms and sat more comfortably on the chair.

“I’m not interested.” He kept punching.

“Really? I need an advice and I think you can help me better than anyone.”

Another punch.

“It’s about Kala.”

He hit the punching bag so hard he could almost feel his knuckles bleed.

 

“What?” Wolfgang turned his head abruptly and glared at him.

Ismail had a cocky smirk on him and enjoyed the way he managed to irritate him with a few simple words.

 

“I was thinking about places where I could take her for our date, any helpful tip?” 

Wolfgang clenched his hands and stared at him, “Figure it out yourself.”

 

Ismail hummed and pretended to think about it.

“You know Wolfgang,” he shook his head, “I have the feeling you’re not entirely happy by the idea of me and Kala dating.”

He added with a shrug, “I might be wrong, of course. I mean, why would you be so bothered by it?”

 

Wolfgang felt his body tense, as if Ismail had threw a bucket of iced water over him; he stayed in silence and silently pondered his answers. He had to make sure he didn’t look affected by his comments.

“I have nothing against you two dating. But if you hurt her in way, I will make you regret it. I can assure you that.”  _ Half a lie and half the truth _ , he thought.

 

“Of course, of course. I must admit I’m a bit surprised, I really thought you had a crush on her or something.” There it was. Another bucket of water.

 

“That’s ridiculous, even for you.” Wolfgang said with a sneer.

Ismail stood up and got closer to him, “Really? So, you have no feelings whatsoever for her?”

“No romantic feelings. No.”

“Bullshit.”

 

Wolfgang’s eyes widen and he exhaled. “What?”

“I think it’s bullshit. I think you like her.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” His voice was low and his nostrils were flaring, he wanted him to stop talking immediately.

 

“You like her. But you’re too much of a coward to say it out loud.” Ismail smirked again and shrugged, as if he were stating the most obvious thing.

“Shut the fuck up.”

 

“It’s understandable, you’ve been friends for so long.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying” Wolfgang distanced himself from him, his hands trembled and he fought the urge to punch him in the face to make him stop talking.

“Don’t I? Don’t lie to yourself, Wolfgang. The thought of me and her together makes you sick, it makes you feel like shit. That’s jealousy.”

 

Wolfgang tried to walk away from him but Ismail stopped him.

“Look at you, you’re getting angry and nervous.”

“You’re full of shit.”

 

Ismail sighed dramatically, “Well then, I will ask her out on more dates. We will be happy together and you will see us kissing all the time.”

 

“Shut up.” Wolfgang’s anger blurred his vision and he felt the urge to throw up as these images flashed in front of his eyes.

“She will fall in love with me and gush about our relationship, about how much she loves me.”

The strong beat of his heart pounded in his ears.

“And we will have sex. Who knows, maybe she will even tell you about that. That’s what best friends do, right?”

“I won’t say it again,” Fierce jealousy filled Wolfgang’s body, an emotion so intense that he felt dizzy with it, “Shut. The. Fuck. Up.”

 

“Why? Is it bothering you? You like to fool yourself,” Ismail pointed accusingly at him, “Every night, you tell yourself you don’t like her, that all your feelings are simply platonic.”

Wolfgang shook his head firmly.

“Hell, maybe you reassure yourself of that after you jerk off thinking about her.”

 

Wolfgang pushed him forcefully at that and raised his hand, ready to hit him.

“Say it, Wolfgang. Say you like her.” Ismail pushed him back just as hard and noticed the shortness of Wolfgang’s breath, the look of pure jealousy and indignation on his face.

“You know you do.” He said and smiled at him.

A deep breath. A resigned sigh. His eyes closed tightly.

“I do. I have feelings for her that are not simply platonic. She’s the only one I want by my side. I have a huge, idiotic, crush on my best friend.”

 

Ismail laughed and raised his head to the ceiling, “FUCKING FINALLY” he shouted.

 

“Why the fuck do you care so much?” Wolfgang angrily asked him.

“Because I consider you my friend and someone needed to wake you the fuck up.” Ismail shrugged, “I’ve noticed the way you look at her. You should tell her.”

 

Wolfgang grimaced playfully, “I’m going to ignore the part where you think we’re friends because it’s too embarrassing.”

“Kala doesn’t want anything to change. She made it clear.”

 

“She likes you as well. I’m sure of that, she was so nervous when I asked her out and kept saying we could never be anything but friends.”

Wolfgang couldn’t deny the slight joy he felt at hearing that and tried to hide it with a frown.

“Are you still going out with her?”

 

“Maybe. But as friends. She’s beautiful and incredible but I’m not interested.”

“Why did you do that in the first place?” Wolfgang raised an eyebrow and looked at him suspiciously.

Ismail sighed and shook his head, “My friend, jealousy is one of the most powerful emotions you can feel. I needed to piss you off somehow to finally make you admit the truth to yourself.”

 

Wolfgang ran his fingers through his hair as he remembered all the times Ismail had purposefully flirted with Kala in front of him and let out a small laugh.

“You’re a little shit.” He said affectionately.

 

Ismail nodded firmly and pursed his lips, “True. But at least now you recognize your feelings. I hope you will make good use of the gift I gave you.”

 

“The gift you gave me,” Wolfgang repeated and shook his head amusedly, “You’re an idiot.”

 

The boys shared a complicit smile, Wolfgang’s eyes silently thanking him, and shook their hands to make sure there was no blood between them.

 

They had known each other since they were eleven years old, their relationship mainly consisting of playful teasing and healthy competition, but in that moment, for the first time, they truly felt like friends.

A strange, ridiculous, friendship perhaps, but a friendship nonetheless.

 

And Wolfgang was grateful, if not a little annoyed as well, of his intervention because he finally admitted to himself the truth, now he knew for certainty what he felt for Kala, he wasn’t confused anymore like he had been that day in the snow －and he wanted her to know that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing confused feelings is so hard, sigh. Well, now we and Wolfgang know for sure that there is nothing platonic in his feelings for Kala, is that going to change things?


	12. March 2006 (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix gets ready to celebrate his 18th birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW! Long time no see, uh? I could explain all the reasons why it took me so long to post these but maybe you do not care so I will go straight to the point: I decided to post this chapter and 13 together, the latter it took me a bit longer to finish but it's finally done!  
> I'm sorry for taking so long but I'm happy to inform you, you have two very long chapters to read at once!   
> I hope you like them!

Felix, as most teenagers, had been waiting for his eighteenth birthday ever since he was a child; for him it meant an important change in his life, for some reason he believed all his problems would fade away the second the clock struck midnight.

These hopeful thoughts had changed slightly during the years, for example he now knew he wouldn’t be able to move out his parents’ house the moment he turned eighteen, but still he had been eagerly waiting for his birthday — now it was only days away and he counted down the hours.

 

“The place is already decided: the club near the swimming pool. My parents are going to rent it for me so I can invite everyone I want, and my Uncle Alex is taking care of everything else.” Felix explained, again, his party plans to his girlfriend.

 

“Who are you inviting exactly?” Daniela asked him suspiciously.

“Everyone!”

“Everyone who, Felix?”

“Everyone who wants to come.”

 

Daniela rolled her eyes and softly brushed his hair with her fingers, “Sweetheart, what did I say about inviting too many people?”

“That it makes me look desperate,” he said, slightly annoyed, “but I want it to be a party that everyone will remember! It’s going to be fucking amazing.”

She sighed, resigned. “Fine, it’s your choice, I don’t think I ever met someone as excited as you to celebrate their own birthday. Children, maybe.”

“What can I say, I love being the center of attention.” His cockiness made her laugh and she leaned her head on his shoulder, looking up at his eyes.

 

“Will you get drunk?” She asked, pensively.

“Hell yeah.” Felix replied, making her hum, “Why? Does that bother you?”

“No, you know it doesn’t. I was just hoping to have some time alone after it, that’s all.” She was being purposefully vague about her intentions and he wasn’t sure if that intrigued him or simply annoyed him, maybe both.

“We’re alone now.” He said matter-of-factly.

“But it’s not your birthday.” 

Daniela quickly changed the topic of the conversation then, starting to talk about how they could color- coordinate their outfits for his party, and ignored what they had just said.

He was quite confused by the sudden change but decided to play along and kept their new conversation going, pretending to forget about her sudden change.

* * *

“Where is Wolfgang?” Kala asked Felix as they walked down the hallway, heading for their first class of the day.

“He isn’t coming today.” He simply answered and braced himself for her outburst.

“Again? It’s the third time he misses school this week!” 

“I don’t know what to say to you, Kala, we asked him if there was something wrong and he said no. He’s just not in the mood for school I guess.”

Kala sighed loudly to show her disappointment and annoyance, she didn’t like when her friends didn’t take school seriously; it was their last year, their  _ Abitur  _ would start the month after with their first written exam, and still Wolfgang seemed to have lost all slight interest he had in school.

 

Felix had noticed that as well, his friend had never been the perfect student but in the past few months he had seemed to put effort in his studies, so this abrupt change worried him, but he also knew it was useless to pester him with questions.

 

“I’m sure he will be back tomorrow, don’t worry.”

“He better be here tomorrow or I will go look for him!” She raised her chin defiantly and he snorted amusedly.

“No you won’t.”

“Yes I will!”

 

“No, because you’re terrorized of his whole family.” He smiled innocently and she frowned, knowing she couldn’t deny the obvious truth.

“They remind me of vampires for some reason.” 

Felix laughed at this, a fitting image of Hassan Bogdanow drinking blood from one of his very expensive glasses flashed through his mind.

“It’s probably the emotionless look in their cold eyes, they all have that, even our dear Wolfie.” 

That seemed to offend Kala, who strongly defended their friend.

“Wolfgang is not like them, he’s… good and kind.”

“Damn I was just teasing, give me a break Kala.” Felix playfully rolled his eyes.

 

She grabbed his arm to make him look at her, her eyes turned serious and she bit her lower lip as she often did when nervous.

“I need to ask you something.” She told him and he touched her hand, worried, “Have you noticed he’s been acting… strange, recently?”

“Strange how?”

“He’s distant, more than usual.” 

Her brown eyes fixed on the floor as she hugged herself, he could hear the worry in her voice, so he pulled her closer to him.

“Yes, he’s been more Wolfgang than usual, but I’m sure it’s nothing to freak out about, if he needs help with something he will tell us. We need to give hi-”

“Him his space, I know. It’s just hard for me, I don’t like when he shuts us out.”

 

Kala had never liked this one aspect of Wolfgang’s personality, she wasn’t used to being ignored nor to feeling useless; she just wanted him to let her help him as he had done many times in the past. Felix understood her needs but he also understood and respected his best friend’s choices, sure that he knew how much they cared about him.

 

“He probably had another fight with Steiner or some shit. I will talk to him though, alright?” She nodded weakly and he hugged her quickly, stroking her back as he reassured her everything was fine while the thought that it might have not been true slowly crept into his mind.

* * *

Felix’s parents had never been particularly present in his life; ever since he was a child, they used to drop him off with his Uncle or some random babysitter in order to deal with their personal issues, they never showed true interest in their son’s life and, the few times he openly criticized them for it, they would accuse him of being ungrateful since they had always taken care of him financially.

They had always used him as a pawn in their games against one another, or simply as a prop in the show of the happy family they performed for their friends.

 

“I want the club filled with people, do you hear me? I don’t want to spend almost one thousand euros only for it to turn into a complete disaster.” Peter Berner told him with a stern voice, he was still chewing on his food and Felix’s gaze was fixed on the empty bottle of wine in front of him.

“My Uncle is paying most of it anyway.” He boldly said, earning a glare from his mother.

“It was about time he spent money on something else other than expensive gifts for his flings.” Julia’s voice was heavy with disgust as she criticized her unmarried, childless brother-in-law.

 

Felix decided to ignore his mother’s remark and focused on finishing his salad as quickly as possible, eager to lock himself inside his room.

“I don’t think I will ever understand all the admiration you have for him, “ she kept going, “what has he done to earn it? 34 years old and he leads an empty life based on one-night stands and travels around the world with his friends as if he were still in his twenties.”

“Sounds like the dream to me.” He replied smugly.

“It’s stupid and pathetic, that’s what it is. Not as if we ever expected anything less from him, he has always been an utter failure.”

“Well, I guess anything is better than being stuck in a loveless marriage.” Felix stated firmly, tired of hearing her insulting his uncle when he wasn’t around to defend himself.

His mother let out an offended gasp, his father slammed his hand on the table.

 

“We’re tired of your blatant disrespect towards us, Felix. You wouldn’t have the life you have if it wasn’t for our efforts.” Peter raised his voice to sound more authoritative but that only had the contrary effect, any trace of respect towards his parents had disappeared from Felix’s brain years before.

 

“We’ve done nothing else but give you a good education, it’s beyond us why would you admire someone like Alexander or seek friendship in the wrong people after everything we’ve taught you.”

Felix narrowed his eyes, his hand let the fork fall on the table, “Seek friendship in the wrong people? Seriously?”

“You know I’ve never approved of your friendship with that Bogdanow boy, people like him only bring problems.”

“Have you even talked with him for more than five minutes in all our years of friendship? Probably not, it’s a miracle you’ve talked with ME for more than five minutes in my life.” 

His father ignored his comment, completely unfazed by something he believed was false, “He’s a bad influence, his kind don’t know the meaning of hard-work or honesty.”

 

Felix laughed, a loud bitter laugh, that ended quickly as he stared at his father with a disbelieving look on his face.

“That’s a bit rich coming from you, don’t you think? You’ve been living the lie of an happy life ever since I was a child.”

 

That seemed to be the last straw for his father, who angrily yelled at him to get out of his sight; he smirked, satisfied with his father’s reaction, and left the table.

 

He closed the door of his bedroom behind him with a loud thud and grabbed his phone from his desk before slumping down his bed.

 

_ Felix: are u around?  _

_ Wolfgang: I’m having dinner. _

_ Felix: let’s hang out when you’re done _

_ Wolfgang: I can’t. Family business I can’t say no to. See you tomorrow at school. _

 

Felix sighed deeply and rubbed his face with his hands, considering his other options; he could have gone to his Uncle’s house or maybe Daniela’s, but none of these places felt right to him. He needed to get out of his house as soon as possible, he needed a friend, and he knew exactly where he had to go.

* * *

 

“Hello!” His chirpy voice startled her as she entered her bedroom making her move her head so quickly that the towel wrapped around her hair almost fell down.

“What on earth are you doing here at this hour?” She said and glanced towards her living room.

“Don’t worry, your parents know I’m here. I went through the door this time.” 

 

“And they simply let you into my bedroom while I was showering?” Kala raised one eyebrow suspiciously while she started dying her curls with the towel.

“Yes. I told them we had to discuss some homework, I doubt they believed me but by now they know I’m not a threat to your honor.” He smiled broadly and innocently, but there was a slight sadness in his eyes that she immediately recognized.

She smiled softly at him and grabbed a small bottle of nail polish from her desk, sat next to him on the floor and started painting her nails.

 

“Want to talk about the real reason you’re here at eight in the evening?” 

It was a lovely red, the color she was using, and it only brought out the color of her skin, making her hands look more delicate than they already were; on her fifteenth birthday she had worn a crimson dress and Wolfgang had subtly told him how red was her color, and now he understood what his best friend had meant.

 

“My parents are the worst but what’s new.” He said with a sigh as he threw his head back, leaning on her bed.

“What happened now?”

“They started talking shit about my uncle, as usual, and Wolfgang too.”

“Wolfgang? Why?” She frowned, her eyes focused on her left middle finger as she tried to mask her annoyance, and he smiled slightly at how defensive she got.

“Yes, apparently he’s a bad influence and blah blah blah you know they never liked any of you. No offense.”

“None taken. Wolfgang’s family doesn’t like us either.”

“Only dear Sanyam and Priya approve of our friendship.”

Kala laughed and shook her head playfully, “I wouldn’t be so sure of my mom.”

“Hey!” He dramatically put an hand on his chest, wounded, “Priya absolutely adores us by now. Well, me more than Wolfgang. But Sanyam likes him more than me so that’s ok.”

 

She smiled softly at the clear fondness in his voice as he spoke of her parents and tilted her head, her eyes still fixed on her fingers, “Why are you here and not with Wolfgang? I don’t mind it, you know I don’t, but you usually go to him at such hours.”

 

“I texted him but he said he had some important thing with his family.” 

“He’s been spending so much time with his family lately, it wouldn’t be weird if he ever liked them. Do you think something bad is happening? Maybe he needs our help. Did he say if he’s coming to school tomorrow?” Kala started ranting, the small brush of the nail polish hanging from her fingers, threatening to let a drop of red liquid fall on her pajamas pants.

 

“First, be careful with that,” Felix pointed at the brush and distanced himself to prevent himself from being stained, “and, what does he always tell us?”

“To not meddle with his family business unless he explicitly tell us so.” She repeated Wolfgang’s words with an annoyed voice.

“And he hasn’t.”

“Fine.” She pouted, reminding him of a toddler, and resumed with her task on her right hand.

 

“And what about Dani? Why aren’t you at her place?”

Why wasn’t he? He had obviously thought about his girlfriend but for some reason, unknown to him, he had decided not to go.

He hummed pensively and tried to explain his feelings to his friend.

“Do you know that feeling at the start of a relationship where everything is exciting and new?”

“No, I’ve never been in a relationship, remember?” She said almost sheepishly.

“Oh, right. Well, sometimes I feel like she’s getting bored with me.” Felix confessed to her, without hesitation or shame. After all, he was talking to someone whom he considered his sister.

 

“Why would she? She seems very into you.”

“Sometimes it feels like I’m more into her than she is. Maybe I’m wro-”

“You are.”

“But we haven’t had sex yet.”

Kala coughed, surprised by the sudden turn of the conversation, and widened her eyes, “That doesn’t mean anything, Felix.”

“I know, I know and I don’t want to pressure her. I guess I’m simply feeling a bit self-conscious, that’s all.” He nodded to reassure himself, repeating over and over his own words in his head.

 

“I’m sure it’s that, besides I doubt sex is the most important part of a relationship.”

“It’s not but it’s one hell of a good part.” Felix replied smugly but the look on his face changed as he saw the faint blush on her cheeks.

“Is it…” she whispered nervously, “is it as good as everyone says?”

 

He was visibly shocked by her question, usually she simply listened to these kind of conversations, too shy to actually participate herself. Both him and Wolfgang knew how uncomfortable she felt with certain topics so they tried to avoid them but, they were still teenagers and it was inevitable sometimes.

Her asking him about sex was something he didn’t expect.

 

“Uh…” Felix ran an hand through his hair nervously, suddenly feeling like a father who had to give his daughter The Talk, “Yes, it can be fucking amazing sometimes but it depends.”

“On-On what?”

“On the person you’re with.”

“But… you’ve never been with someone you love.” She stated in a low voice, somehow scared it might offend him.

“No but I’ve had sex with people I’ve not felt comfortable with and it’s no fun. Sex is not only about love, you know, it’s fun. Like an hobby.”

“Like an hobby?” She repeated, confused and slightly outraged, “It could never be that for me.”

“I know,” He smiled gently at her, “And that’s fine too. We all have different approaches to it; some people do it as a pastime, some because of a meaningful connection and others to cope with their own difficult lives, to forget about everything for a brief moment.”

 

He could see the effect his words had on her by the way her eyes were glistening under the soft light of her bedroom, her eyelashes fluttered against her cheeks as she refused to make eye-contact with him.

“Sometimes I feel like there might be something wrong with me,” she sobbed weakly, “I’m almost eighteen years old, never had a relationship, never had sex and I never made out with anyone!” 

Felix listened to her frustrated words with a sympathetic look on his face, a part of him wanted Wolfgang to be there with them ー he always seemed to know the exact thing to say to make her feel better.

 

“Are those things you really want? Because I can assure you, some guys in our class would be down for that.”

“N-No.” she stuttered, blushing furiously, “I don’t want these things with strangers, I never did.”

“That’s what I thought. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a meaningful connection before sex, you know that that right? Like I’ve said, we are all different when it comes to that.”

“You and… Wolfgang talk so casually about it. While I can’t even handle sex scenes during movies.”

“You can’t even handle fighting scenes in movies, Kala.” He teased her and playfully pushed her.

“They’re unnecessarily violent!” She giggled and pushed him back, grateful he slightly eased the tension.

 

“Listen,” he turned serious once again, “You can decide to have sex at twenty-two, thirty-three or fifty-four, it doesn’t matter as long as it’s something you really want. If you want to have casual sex, go ahead. If you want to wait until marriage, that’s cool. Never let anyone tell you how you should feel about sex, just listen to yourself and fuck everyone else that makes you feel bad for being a virgin or some shit like that.” 

He said before awkwardly patting her shoulder, trying to show her his affection in the best way he could.

 

Kala hugged him tightly, her arms locked around his neck, and murmured a soft Thank You that brought a content smile to his face, relieved that he could help her as much as he could and hoping that she would soon find what she was looking for.

* * *

Felix tried to remind himself what Kala had told him the night before before he left her house, about how important it was to not let himself get eaten by his own doubts and insecurities, to not let Daniela know about his foolish doubts and make her feel guilty about it.

But the more he stared at his girlfriend attentively writing down her notes in the school’s library, the more he realized how much he cared about her and needed the reassurement that everything was, in fact, alright in their relationship.

“It’s not like Kala is so confident of everything, why am I even listening to her.” He told himself and decided to completely ignore his friend’s words of advice.

 

“Dani,” He said her name to catch her attention, getting an absent hum in response, “Dani, can we talk?”

“Technically we can’t talk here.” She murmured, her pretty eyes glanced at him before pointing towards the Be Quiet sign above the nearest shelf.

“Right… can we go outside?” He hoped the tone of his voice managed to show how badly he needed to have that particular talk ー it did have such effect and they walked hurriedly to the hallway outside the library.

 

“What’s going on darling? Is everything alright?” Daniela asked him, her body close to his as she laid an hand on his arm.

“No. Yes.” He rolled his eyes at himself, “I need to get this out of my chest.” 

She raised her eyebrows questioningly and he took a deep breath.

“When our relationship first started-”

“We’ve been dating for less than two months, Felix.” She reminded him, confused of what he was trying to say.

“Yes, I know but to me they have felt like eight,” He said, without thinking, and immediately regretted his words as he saw the hurt, offended look on her face, “Fuck, that sounded horrible.”

“Are you trying to break up with me?”

“No, no. Listen, Dani, this is the first relationship I have, alright? And I’ve had a huge, insane crush on you for such a long time it feels surreal that someone like you would ever be interested in me.”

She opened her mouth to make a remark but he kept talking.

“I’m scared someday you will realize you could do so much better than this,” he gestured towards himself, “get tired of me and these thoughts have been particularly hard to ignore lately.”

 

Daniela’s eyes never left his and when he exhaled deeply to let her know he was done talking, she stiffed a small laugh, something that made him narrow his eyes.

“Oh Felix,” She shook her head affectionately and touched his cheek softly, “Why would I ever get tired of you? I’ve never met anyone as funny, caring or… genuine as you. Do you know how many guys I know would have told me all this, screwing their damn pride? None.”

 

He wasn’t sure if that was a compliment, and was about to ask, but she stopped him with a light kiss on his lips.

“You’re the breath of fresh air I’ve been waiting for, Felix Berner.” she murmured, “and I’ve been scared as well, of all this suddenly ending, that’s why I didn’t want to have sex with you. I was afraid that’s all you wanted, that once you got it you would leave like everyone else.”

 

“I would never do something like that.” Felix reassured her, with an hand on her hips.

“I know and I’m sorry I ever thought such thing.” she smiled broadly at him and he did the same, “I’m glad we talked about this.”

“Me too.”

She kissed him then; a sweet, gentle kiss that soon turned into something more passionate that made him smile even more, suddenly feeling as if he were flying on a cloud.

* * *

Daniela and Felix were enjoying their morning break in the school’s backyard when they saw Kala walking fast, almost running, towards them.

“He is not here, is he?” She asked them, her arms crossed.

“Who?” Daniela asked, confused, and Felix answered her with his best friend’s name.

 

“Felix, you said you would go to his house if he didn’t come back today.”

“I don’t remember saying that.”

“You said you would talk to him. Because clearly he doesn’t want to talk to me, I sent him five texts last night, do you know how many he answered? One!” She said incredibly fast and exhaled to catch her breath.

Daniela and Felix shared a glance she missed, and he stood up to take her hands in his.

“I will go to his house and find out what the hell is going on, ok?” He said softly, managing to calm her nerves.

 

It would have been a lie to say he wasn’t as equally as worried about Wolfgang as she was but he trusted his friend; he knew that he would always ask for help if he needed it so he tried to respect his privacy, clearly Wolfgang didn’t want to talk about whatever he was going through but Felix decided that perhaps, this time, he needed a slight push.

  
  


That’s why he found himself in front of the huge gate of the Bogdanow Mansion that same afternoon.

He always felt the same shiver run down his spine when he was there, the slight uneasiness that was present whenever he had to face Wolfgang’s relatives made his head spin and his hands tremble.

It wasn’t Sergei the problem, nor Steiner, but Hassan. The old man was the most intimidating person he had ever known, even more than his son because, contrary to Anton, Hassan never showed his emotions or thoughts; he simply stared at you with a deadpan look on his eyes, his cold blue eyes giving you the feeling that he was somehow judging your soul.

 

“What do you want Berner?” Steiner’s voice could be heard through the intercom, Felix wondered how he could know it was him for a brief second before remembering the small camera on top of it.

 

“To see your pretty face.” He replied teasingly, to ease the tension and to annoy him, as he always liked to do.

“Your boyfriend isn’t here. Fuck off.” 

Felix frowned, suddenly worried and confused, “Where is he?”

“He’s out with Grandfather doing Lord knows what, he has been training as his watchdog, always following him around lately.” Steiner replied with a bitter tone that did not hide his clear jealousy and disgust. 

He had always wanted to be his grandfather’s favorite but that had been Wolfgang’s title since they were children, something that amused Felix very much.

 

“Do you know when he’s coming back?”

“No.” He said curtly and Felix heard the intercom going off.

 

He raised his eyes to glance around the mansion and the trees around it; he had been there only once, three years before, when Wolfgang had invited him over while his family was out of the country. He had never forgotten the luxurious furniture and paintings of the house, nor Wolfgang’s tale about how his Russian great-grandfather had left a significant amount of money to his family.

That had sounded like a blatant lie to his ears and Wolfgang had quickly changed topic, never mentioning his family’s wealth again.

 

With a final sigh, lost deep in his thoughts, Felix left the property, determined to go back again before the weekend was over.

* * *

On Sunday morning, Felix managed to go through the gate of the mansion thanks to the help of a maid and a very well-faked Russian accent; he found himself under Wolfgang’s window, throwing small rocks towards the glass since his best friend wasn’t answering the phone.

He started whispering his name loudly, glancing around to check if anyone was coming, the last thing he needed was a morning encounter with Steiner or Sergei Bogdanow. He was slowing losing all hope of waking his friend, he even started thinking that maybe he wasn’t in his bedroom at all,  when he saw a shadow moving behind the curtain.

 

“Have you completely lost your mind?” Wolfgang grunted, his voice was raspy and his hair messy, he had clearly just woke up and didn’t appreciate such early visit.

“He’s alive!” Felix said to an invisible audience, a small grin on his face.

“What are you doing here?” The frown on his friend’s forehead told him he was not amused.

“I’m here to talk.”

“At nine in the morning? Couldn’t you send a text?”

“I did. And I called. And called. Are you going to let me in or not? I’m freezing.”

Wolfgang sighed deeply, knowing nothing he could say would make him go away, “Fine. I’ll open the door but don’t make any fucking noise, everyone’s sleeping.”

  
  


Felix immediately walked towards his bed once he entered his bedroom and laid down on it, silently enjoying the sudden warmth. Wolfgang closed the door before sitting on a chair near his desk, his eyes never leaving Felix.

 

“Are you going to explain to me what the hell is going on now?”

Felix raised his body to sit on the bed and raised an eyebrow, “You are the one that has some explaining to do.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. You’ve been acting so fucking weird lately, not coming to school and ignoring your friends.”

“I went to school on Monday, and I’ve answered all your messages.” Wolfgang defended himself, narrowing his eyes, making Felix roll his eyes dramatically.

 

“Cut the bullshit. You know exactly what you’re doing and you’re going to tell me why right now.” His voice sounded so authoritative, more than it had ever sounded before, and it caused an amused snort from Wolfgang.

“You’ve been spending too much time with Kala.”

“Speaking of, she has been worrying sick about you! She insisted I came here today.”

Wolfgang tilted his head, weirdly surprised, and murmured, “She has?”

“Of course you dumbass, you know how she gets 一 we’re her little brothers.”

At the word “brothers” Wolfgang seemed to flinch, but Felix decided to ignore that.

 

“You can tell her there’s nothing to worry about. I’m alright, I’ve just been busy with my family.”

“Doing what? Since when do you spend so much time with these people?”

Wolfgang took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes with the knuckles of his fingers, “Nothing to worry about.”

He was trying to be as vague as possible but Felix could notice his overwhelming stress by the dark circles under his eyes and the paleness of his skin; whatever he was going through was causing him to lose sleep and to isolate himself from his friends. Only in that moment, as he saw his friend suddenly looking ten years older, Felix realized how serious the situation was.

 

“Wolfgang, tell me the truth.” He said, his tone more serious and sympathetic than before, “You know you can trust me with anything. I’m a good listener and a good secret-keeper.”

 

Wolfgang closed his eyes, inhaled, and Felix could hear his thoughts from where he was sitting; he was ready to keep pushing him to open up, various convincing quotes about brotherhood and trust were swimming in his head, but as he opened his mouth, his friend started talking.

 

“There are some things you don’t know about my family, Felix. They’re not exactly what I’ve been saying they are: they don’t have important business in Russia, not legal at least, and their fortune doesn’t come from some old family legacy. My grandfather built all this from scratch, all their money comes from his illegal businesses.” Wolfgang let it all out, his shoulders slumping as he finally spoke of his family’s true life with someone, he waited for Felix to say something, anything, but he stay quiet for various seconds.

“So… you’re telling me your relatives are criminals?” He finally said.

“Yes. All of them, including my father.”

“Wow.” Felix remarked, his eyes wide and a slight smile on the lips,”I can’t believe I was right all this time.”

 

It was Wolfgang’s turn to widen his eyes. “What?” His voice was incredulous, a mix between surprised and annoyed.

Felix nodded, incredibly pleased with himself, “We’ve been friends since we were eleven, Wolfgang. Do you really think I never thought there was something shady in your family? Hell, your grandfather is the Russian Vito Corleone. Even though your father definitely lacked Michael’s class.”

His tone was so nonchalant that Wolfgang kept blinking, impassive, trying to understand if he was joking or not.

“But don’t worry, I’ve never held it against you. It’s kinda cool, actually.”

“It’s not.” Wolfgang stated seriously, “It’s anything but cool.”

He walked slowly towards the window, looking outside with a pensive look.

 

“My grandfather wants me to join, be part of whatever the fuck they do.” He murmured, “That’s why I’ve been missing school; they’ve been teaching me how to shoot a gun, crack a safe and shit like that. I have a natural talent, according to Hassan.”

“And you don’t like that?”

Wolfgang turned his head towards Felix angrily and raised his voice, “Of course I fucking don’t. This is not a movie, Felix. I’ve seen what they’re capable of.”

 

Felix sighed, ran an hand through his hair, and stood up to walk closer to him. “I’m sorry.” He said, suddenly feeling like a complete fool, “I should take it more seriously. Can’t you tell him you have no interest in all that?”

“I tried. But I don’t really have a choice as long as I live here, as long as he’s the one that feeds me. He’s not someone that accepts a no.” 

Felix stared at him, trying to come up with solutions to help him, “Do you think they will let you be if you move out?”

“Maybe.” He replied, sighing once again, “I want to move out as soon as I turn eighteen but I need a job first.”

 

“Let’s do this then! Let’s find you a job now so you can start saving money and then, once you’re eighteen, we can move in together.” Felix said enthusiastically, his tone incredibly hopeful; so hopeful that Wolfgang couldn’t help but snort at the ridiculosity of it all.

“It’s not that easy. We have our Arbitur next month, I don’t have time, and who’s going to give me a job?”

Felix realized he did have a point but that didn’t stop him from thinking about possible jobs for him; he thought about everything, until one particular idea came to his mind.

“You could ask Sanyam!”

 

Wolfgang rolled his eyes and stared at the ceiling, “Why does everyone think it’s a good idea?”

“Kala already said that?” Felix asked him and, when he nodded, he clapped him on the shoulder encouragingly, “That’s it then! You start working for him and save money.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Why not? Sanyam would be the perfect boss, he knows us since we were children and understands our busy schedules.”

Wolfgang kept shaking his head, “No, Felix. What if I screw up somehow? His respect is important for me.”

“Why would you screw up? You’re not an idiot, most of the times at least. Besides, if Kala suggested this as well then it means she knows you’re the perfect guy.”

 

“I don’t want to disappoint her either.” He murmured, voicing that one particular fear for the first time.

“I know.” Felix said and took a deep breath, considering his next words carefully, “I know Kala’s opinion and respect is particularly important for you, maybe more than anyone else’s, but she does think only the best of you.”

Wolfgang glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, his body stiffening as he tried to understand what was he trying to imply.

“But I understand your fears, it’s normal to have these when you care about someone.”

“Of course I care about her.” He narrowed his eyes, suddenly getting defensive, and Felix inhaled, his shoulders slumping.

“You know what I mean, Wolfgang.”

“No. No, I don’t.”

Felix shook his head, shrugging casually as if he were saying the most obvious thing in the world, “You like her. You have a crush on her, and that’s understandable. I mean, we have been friends for so many years.”

 

Wolfgang abruptly turned his whole body to look at him in the face, his breathing accelerated and he opened his mouth to make a remark.

“Don’t bother denying this, Wolfgang. I’ve been observing you all this time, I have all the proofs I need.” 

He closed his mouth then, and his eyes, as he tried to control his emotions. He eventually smiled, shaking his head in amusement, and finally nodded.

“Why you didn’t point this out before?” He asked him.

“I guess I just needed the right moment to arrive. And, I was afraid of your reaction. I must admit you’ve taken this better than I expected.”

“I’ve been accepting… the reality of the situation lately, it’s not exactly something I can deny any longer.”

“Does she know?”

He shook his head, his eyes glancing at the floor. “And she won’t. You can’t say shit.”

Felix raised his hands, defending himself, “I won’t, don’t worry.”

 

They stayed in a comfortable silence, simply looking out of the window side by side.

“You and Kala. That sounds nice, I must admit.”

Wolfgang snorted, a soft smile appearing on his mouth.

Silence surrounded them once again for a few seconds.

“I can’t say this with certainty but I think she likes you as well.”

Felix could have sworn his friend had stopped breathing and he smiled as he saw him trying to mask his sudden hope. He had never seen him like that, never so infatuated with someone to actually fear their rejection.

“You really think so?”

“Yes. We could ask her tomorrow at lunch if you want.” He teased him and Wolfgang playfully punched him on the arm.

“She insists we all have lunch at Sanyam’s restaurant tomorrow.”

“Of course she does.” His tone showed the slightest annoyance but Felix could hear the fondness in it.

 

Felix didn’t know what this change would mean for their friendship, if it would end in tears or laughs, he simply found himself hoping for the best; to him, no one deserved to love and be loved as much as his best friends. It would have been particularly devastating for him to see them suffering for each other and he sincerely hoped he wouldn’t have to witness such thing.

* * *

 

Felix blew hot air through his hands to warm them up as he walked towards the big door of the Dandekar Restaurant. He was about to open it when his phone rang in his coat pocket.

 

He frowned at the name displayed on the screen and accepted the call. “Hello?” He asked his Uncle Alex, silently wondering why would he call him out of the sudden.

 

“Felix, hey.” Alex’s voice was quieter than usual and his anguish was clear in his short greeting.

“What’s going on Uncle?” Felix wasn’t one to tiptoe around a bad news, he wanted to hear it immediately instead of sugar-coated words.

Alex took a deep breath and he could hear the sound of television on the background.

“Your parents called him, they’re pissed.” 

Felix snorted, letting out a bittersweet laugh, “When aren’t they?” 

“This time is serious.” Alex paused, “They won’t pay for your birthday party anymore and told me I shouldn’t either.”

 

He stiffened immediately, his eyes getting lost on the restaurant’s window and felt a shiver run down his body, he could feel a single drop of sweat falling down his temple and the anger seemed to overheat his body.

“What? What the fuck?” He growled on the phone. 

“I’m sorry nephew, we can still organize something if you want-“ Alex tried to offer solutions but was abruptly interrupted by him.

“Did they tell you why?”

His uncle was slightly taken aback by his angry tone of voice, too used to his calm and cheerful voice, and stuttered before answering, “Yes. They told me they thought you should learn to appreciate what you have. It’s bullshit, I know.”

 

“I can’t fucking stand them.” Felix almost screamed, fighting the urge to punch a wall.

“I know but we can do something else, don’t worry.”

“No, not anymore.” He was angry, so incredibly angry he felt numb. They wanted him to be miserable? Then that’s what he would be. “They robbed me of my fucking enthusiasm, I don’t give a shit anymore.”

“Felix-“

Before he could say anything else, Felix ended the call and pulled at his own hair out of frustration.

 

He wanted to cry, not for a party, that was the least of his problems, but for the simple lack of affection and love from his parents. He couldn’t remember a time where they had done something to make him happy just for the pleasure of it and not to prove something, he couldn’t remember if they had ever been a normal family. For all his life, he had felt used and a stranger in his own house. And he was so damn tired of it.

He could see Kala and Wolfgang chatting animatedly inside the cozy restaurant from where he was standing; he inhaled and exhaled, seeing his breath before him in the cold air, and let a tear fall down on his cheek. 

 

Without looking back, he slowly walked away from the restaurant, heading towards the bus station, the sharp Berlin wind turning his teary eyes redder than they already were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter from Felix's POV. Wasn't easy, I must admit.


	13. March 2006 (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kala and Wolfgang organize Felix's birthday party as the tension between them increases.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 2! This is the longest chapter I've ever written in my life (14k words!) and I seriously considered splitting it in two but I had promised a certain to a certain someone (you know who you are) so now you will have to read this very long chapter. I hope you like it!

“It’s very important that you take the dishes to the client as soon as they’re ready, for no reason you should let them cool down.“

Kala was instructing Wolfgang while he followed her around the kitchen, with one hand she kept gesturing the various equipments, smiling subtly at him. He had already had an informal lesson with Sanyam about what his work consisted of, and she knew that, but still was attentively listening to her — something that pleased her more than she would ever admit.

 

“Any questions?” She asked him after she had finished explaining how to careful fold the soft cloth napkins that laid on every single table.

“No, everything is clear Miss” Wolfgang teased her with a smirk.

“Good.” She reciprocated the smirk and put her hands on her hips, “Now that we’ve taken care of this, let’s talk about Felix.”

 

Wolfgang shrugged, crossing his arms, “I’ve tried to convince him to still throw a party but he doesn’t want to. Something about letting his parents win or some shit.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“I know but you know Felix, he can be quite stubborn.”

Kala snorted playfully, raising an eyebrow, “You’re one to talk.”

He simply laughed softly, knowing the statement to be true, and stared at her.

 

“I think it’s our duty as his best friends to throw a party for him.” 

“A party he doesn’t want to attend, what do we do? Tie him up to a chair?”

“No dummy, we throw him a surprise party. Obviously.”

“Obviously.” He repeated, teasing her.

 

Kala tilted her head and narrowed her eyes, “It’s quite easy, we plan everything in secret and then trick him into coming.”

“Yes Kala, I know how surprise parties work. Are you sure it’s a good idea?” 

She nodded, so he simply sighed. She knew he was conflicted between respecting his friend’s wishes and doing something that could genuinely make him happy.

“We could throw the perfect party for him, you know that.” Kala laid an hand on his arm and he inhaled deeply before nodding.

“Fine. Let’s do this.”

 

She clapped her hand enthusiastically and threw her arms around his neck, “I knew you would agree! We have to start organizing immediately if we want to make it on time!”

Wolfgang shook his head and pointed at his new, clean apron and black shirt.

“Oh right, your first shift starts now…” she patted his shoulder, slightly awkwardly, and smiled at him, “It suits you, you look good.” 

She blurted and immediately regretted it, blushing furiously, “I meant… this job suits your personality…”

It didn’t make any sense and was far from the truth, but simply smirked knowingly at her and bit his tongue to stop himself from teasing her.

“Good luck.” Kala murmured shyly before quickly walking away, refusing to look back at him, her heart beating madly in her chest.

* * *

 

“Alright, so what have we got?” Kala asked them as she read her notes, not really expecting an answer, “Venue? Checked. Alexander said we could throw the party at his house. Food? Checked. Drinks? Checked.”

“Does that include alcohol?” As soon as the words left Daniela’s mouth, Kala shook her head.

“Absolutely not.”

“What?” Wolfgang and Daniela said at the same time.

 

They were sitting on a table in the Dandekar’s Restaurant before Wolfgang’s evening shift had to start; it had been only four days since he had started working for Sanyam but he found himself liking it more than he thought he would have, something that pleased Kala greatly.

He was taking his job seriously and the only time they had to plan Felix’s surprise party was in between his breaks.

 

“You want me to fill a small apartment with drunk teenagers? No, thank you.” She shook her head firmly, using her best Priya Dandekar’s voice.

 

“God you’re so boring.” Daniela teased her.

“I’m not boring, I’m simply precautious.” 

“No, you’re boring.”

 

“Come on Kala, we know Felix expects to get very, very drunk on his eighteenth birthday, consider it as your birthday gift to him.” Wolfgang tried to convince her, his blue eyes meeting hers.

She sighed, not entirely convinced but realizing he had a point, “Ok. But I will personally throw out the first annoying, inappropriate drunk person.”

“Sure you will.” Wolfgang smiled slightly and checked the watch on his wrist, “I should be getting ready, we’re opening again soon.”

 

“Oh could you bring me some Samosa? I haven’t eaten any in ages.” Daniela enthusiastically requested from him.

He shook his head, shrugging casually, “Not on my shift yet, Dani.”

She rolled her eyes and pouted, “But you could ask the cook to make them for me.”

“It doesn’t work that way.” Kala reprimanded her, making her glance at both of them.

“You two are gonna be such annoying parents someday.”

 

Her casual remark, that could have been interpreted in any other way, made Kala pale at the sudden thought of having children with Wolfgang; she briefly met his eyes but found no trace of embarrassment or nervousness in them, so she glanced down at her small notebook and changed the topic.

 

“So…” She cleared her throat, hoping that the lump in it would go away, “It seems like the last thing missing is a theme.”

“A theme?” He asked her and she could feel his eyes on her but didn’t raise hers to meet his gaze.

“Yes.”

“I thought his eighteenth birthday was the theme.”

“That’s not a theme, Wolfgang.” She sighed and shook her head as if she was explaining the most obvious thing in the world.

“What about a Black and White theme?” Daniela suggested and both Kala and Wolfgang shook their head firmly, immediately rejecting her idea.

 

“Too sober for Felix.” He said. She agreed.

“Gold?”

“Too much. Even for Felix.” She said. He agreed.

 

Daniela scoffed and crossed her arms, “Well then let’s hear your ideas!”

“I didn’t even know we needed a theme for a party, give me a break.” He gestured towards Kala, who simply shrugged.

“I’m still thinking!”

 

Wolfgang stood up from the chair and smoothed the shirt with his hand, “Whatever you decide, is fine for me. I have to start my shift.”

She stopped him with an hand and murmured, “Don’t mention the party to my father.”

“Why would I even do that?” He narrowed his eyes, confused.

“I don’t know, just don’t. I haven’t asked permission to go yet.”

 

He snorted amusedly, “You’re planning a party you don’t even know if you will attend?”

“I asked them months ago and they said they would think about it!”

“That’s not a yes, Kala, you have to ask again. The party is in 4 days.”

“Hush”, she said and gestured him to go away, “I’ll handle it, get to work.”

“I think you forget your father is my boss, not you.” He teased her with a smirk and she stuck out her tongue in return, making him smile affectionately before turning around and walking away.

 

“Remember my Samosa!” Daniela screamed at him and smiled innocently when she received a disappointed glare from her friend, “What? I’m sure he will bring some for you as well.”

 

Kala hid the blush of her cheeks with her long curls, subtly biting her lower lip to stop the tiny, foolish smile that was slowly threatening to appear on her face.

* * *

Kala took a deep breath, staring at her reflection in the mirror as she practiced her best Innocent Sweet Daughter face and silently prayed Ganesha to help her; she knew she needed all the help from the Gods to convince her parents to let her go to an unsupervised party at such a short notice.

Still, she felt hopeful. It wasn’t just a simple party, it was Felix’s 18th Birthday and her parents knew how important his friends were to her.

 

She left her room to walk towards the living room, where her parents were talking on the couch, and stood in front of them.

They stopped their conversation to look curiously at her and her mother was the first one to speak, “Yes, darling?”

Kala straightened her back and intertwined her shaky fingers, her eyes and her mouth trying to cover her clear nerves.

 

“I have something to ask you,” she said, “as you may know, Felix’s birthday is just days away and he has been planning an important party since it’s his eighteenth party.” 

She stopped briefly to catch her breath and began talking again, “Unfortunately, his parents made it hard to throw him a party so everyone’s presence is particularly important to cheer him up, especially mine and Wolfgang’s of course.”

 

“I’m confused,” her mother stopped her, “Is he throwing himself a party without his parents permission?”

 

Kala opened her mouth slightly, realizing she had put herself in a potential difficult situation, “Not exactly. Wolfgang is throwing him a surprise party, with the help of his girlfriend and his uncle.”

 

“Wolfgang has a girlfriend?”

“What?! No, mom, he doesn’t!” She replied quickly and brusquely, making her mother raise her eyebrows in surprise.

“I was just asking, Kala.” 

“Sorry,” she said sheepishly, her cheeks red with embarrassment, “I wanted to ask you if…”

“Where is this party going to be?” Sanyam asked her with a sweet smile.

 

“Felix’s Uncle house.” 

“Will he be there?”

He wasn’t. Well, maybe he would be there at first but she was sure he would leave after a few hours, if even showed up in the first place. But her parents didn’t have to know that.

“Yes.”

 

Her mother started shaking her head while her father hummed pensively.

“Please, could you think about it at least?”

“Kala, we don’t know his Uncle.” Her mother tried to explain.

“You’ve seen him!”

“But we don’t know him, we’ve never talked with him.”

 

Kala knew this was going to happen, there was no actual chance her parents would have let her go to a party like this, no matter who it was for.

Still, a tiny part inside of her wanted to believe they would put their fears and prejudices aside and focus on her happiness and wants for once.

 

Her mother was still talking, giving her all the reasons why she couldn’t let her go to such event, “You can spend the day with them.” Priya told her but Kala wasn’t listening anymore, too deafened by an unfamiliar feeling of rage and disappointment.

 

“Alright. There is no need for you to explain, I understood.” She said, trying to keep her voice calm and collected, “Thank you for listening to me.”

Kala gulped, her vision blurred with tears, and quickly walked away from the living room, missing the look of pure sympathy from her father.

* * *

That same night, Kala was lying on the bed when her phone rang. At first, she ignored it, too busy in her own misery to have a conversation with anyone, but as the minutes passed, the phone kept ringing and ringing until she picked it up.

 

“What?” She brusquely said, not even checking who was calling.

“Good evening to you too, Kala.” Wolfgang greeted her back, his soft and amused voice warming her body.

“Hey,” She tried changing the sound of her voice but her feelings were difficult to hide, “I’m sorry. How are you? Is everything alright?”

 

“Yes. What about you? You sound upset.”

She took a deep breath, “It’s nothing, don’t worry.”

“Kala…” He simply murmured, letting her know there was no point in lying to him.

 

“They said no, didn’t they?”

She didn’t want to answer and would have preferred to change topic but her sobs came out unexpectedly.

“Hey, hey.” Wolfgang tried to comfort her through the phone, his voice calm and filled with tenderness.

“I just don’t understand why they don’t trust me! I’ve always been the perfect, dutiful daughter. Why can’t they give me this one thing?”

 

He took a deep breath, not entirely sure what he was supposed to say.

“I don’t think they don’t trust you, Kala, I believe they don’t trust other people you may encounter.”

She scoffed, “You sound just like my father.”

“Just trying to help here.” Wolfgang laughed slightly, “You have great parents, they care about you.”

“I know they do but this is getting frustrating.”

He hummed, to let her know he understood her feelings, but didn’t say anything else.

 

Kala sighed deeply, trying to clear her mind and calm down.

“Why did you call me Wolfgang?”

She could hear him moving around his room and pictured a frown on his forehead.

“Daniela called me to say she had an idea for Felix’s party theme.”

He wasn’t entirely enthusiast about it and it was clear in his voice.

“What is it?”

“The 80s”

 

Her mouth opened in delighted surprise, suddenly wondering why they haven’t had thought about it.

“That‘s… that’s amazing” she said, weirdly surprised he had come out with such a particular theme, so different from his own personality. “It’s perfect for Felix! He’s going to absolutely love it.”

“Yes. I guess.”

“Wolfgang Bogdanow you know I’m right. You’re only saying this because you don’t want to dress up.”

“That’s not true.” He remarked, incredibly offended.

“Yes it is, you old man.”

 

Wolfgang laughed and she was sure wrinkles appeared around his eyes, as they always did when he laughed freely.

“Tell Dani we’re doing that, it will be an incredible party.”

“A party you’re not going to attend.” He murmured, almost as if he were scared to remind her.

 

Little did he know, Kala had been thinking about this moment for weeks, already predicting her parents’ reaction, and had come up with a plan.

“I’m going.”

“How?”

“With your help.”

He snorted amusedly, not taking her seriously, but then as she stayed quiet he whispered on the phone “What?”

 

“I will sneak out. I will put some extra valeriana on my mother’s tea and my dad could sleep through an earthquake. It will be easy.” Kala explained to him as if it were the best plan in the world.

“And where do I fit in this evil plan of yours?”

“You’re going to pick me up obviously.”

“Obviously.” He repeated sarcastically.

“Yes.”

“No.”

 

She frowned, clearly not expecting a refusal from him of all people.

“Why not?”

“Because I like my job and my boss happens to be your father. Not going to risk that.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Kala raised her eyes to her ceiling and tried to convince him but his mind seemed to be set.

“He won’t fire you because of this! If he ever finds out, I will take full responsibility of it.”

 

As she didn’t received an answer immediately, she kept trying to convince him.

“Please, Wolfgang.” Kala said softly, her voice sounding like that of a child, “Please, please.”

She kept repeating the same little word until she heard him say: “Fine. I’ll pick you up around ten.”

 

Kala squealed delightfully, “Thank you!”

“Only because it’s you.”

“I know, you wouldn’t do it for anyone else.”

Her tone was teasing, not serious at all, but he didn’t tease her back as he usually did. He simply stayed quiet, as if he were agreeing to the statement.

 

“I will see you tomorrow at school.” Wolfgang ended the call abruptly, leaving her wondering what exactly had happened.

* * *

The plan was supposed to be relatively easy: Kala and Dani were going to help Felix’s Uncle decorate his house on the morning of Felix’s birthday while Wolfgang was at work. Everyone knew the birthday boy was not going to wake up before noon so they were sure their surprise wasn’t in danger. Then, he would have lunch with his girlfriend followed by an afternoon with his friends. After days of fighting with his parents, Felix had definitely lost interest in celebrating his birthday in grand style and insisted to spend his night with Daniela, Lito, Ismail and Wolfgang at his uncle’s house, just them and food, nothing important — he hadn’t included Kala in his plans, knowing her parents would have never let her go out at such hours.

 

For the past four days, they had managed to plan the whole party without Felix suspecting anything, or Kala’s parents.

That was her biggest worry; even though she had felt so confident while convincing Wolfgang, she was starting to doubt herself.

Always the dutiful daughter, Kala wondered if what she was about to do was the right thing or if she would be able to live with the guilt.

But then, she just had to take a quick glance Felix, who appeared miserable at the prospect of actually not throwing a party on his birthday, to remember how important this night was for him.

 

“Sir, can we move the couch over there to have more space?” Kala asked Alexander shyly. 

“Only if you stop calling me Sir.” He said with a grin similar to Felix’s and walked over to her and helped her move the furniture.

 

Kala smiled sheepishly and blushed; she had never been good with interacting with adults, she didn’t possess Felix’s personality that seemed to charm almost everyone. She was always scared to say the wrong thing and appear impolite and that fear mixed with her shyness made her walk on eggshells around her friends’ relatives.

 

Alexander wasn’t like everyone else though, at thirty-four-years-old he was as single and carefree as ever; he reminded her so much of his nephew Felix, thanks to the same slender figure, eyes and mannerisms she could have a glimpse of how her friend would like in the future.

And as she studied the young man all morning, she found herself wondering if Felix would also refuse to have children and a stable relationship like his uncle.

 

She looked at Daniela then, who was blowing up the last balloons, and smiled fondly, thinking about how deeply her friend cared about her; no, she thought, Felix was not as adverse to commitment as his uncle. Or Wolfgang.

 

The sudden thought seemed to hit her like a sharp knife to her lungs, taking her breath away.

It was not the first time Kala’s mind wandered into dangerous places and she often chided herself for that. After all, she was the one who ended their romantic relationship before it had even started so she felt guilty for thinking such things. But that didn’t stop her.

The image of her and Wolfgang was more vivid than ever and his sudden change of behavior didn’t certainly ease her mind — he had gone from ignoring her for days to his old cocky self, she was sure he even flirted with her sometimes, leaving her to wonder if she had made the right choice after all.

 

“A penny for your thoughts.” Alexander said behind her, startling her and chuckling at the reaction.

He was holding a disco ball with one hand and a chair with the other, swiftly he stood up on it in the middle of the living room.

Kala moved to hold the chair for him as he tried to hang the ball on the ceiling, “Nothing important.” she murmured.

 

“Your face says otherwise.” Alexander remarked and stretch out his arms to reach the ceiling more easily.

“Ah,” he said as realization came to him, “Teenagers drama? A boy?”

“No, well, something like that.” Kala muttered, immediately regretting it.

“A girl?”

“No.” She said quickly.

“There wouldn’t be nothing wrong with that.”

“I know, I know.” She sighed and decided to let it out, “it’s about a boy.”

 

“Do you need an advice? You can be as vague as you want.”

His voice was so reassuring Kala couldn’t help but smile, the tension in her shoulders easing slightly.

“It’s about a friend. We almost had something… romantic but I decided not to change things.”

“And now you’re regretting it.” Alexander finished the sentence for her.

“I don’t know. Yes. Maybe.”

“Can I ask you one thing?” He said while getting off the chair and inspecting his work. Kala nodded.

“Are you talking about my nephew?”

“Oh Ganesha, no.”

“Good. So it’s Wolfgang.”

 

Kala’s instinctively opened her mouth to deny but quickly closed it, nodding feebly.

“I won’t ask for any details but if it’s your own feelings you’re doubting then you need to face them, instead of ignoring them.”

 

“How do I do that,” she murmured, an hint of shame in her voice, “if I don’t even know how I’m feeling?”

He stared at the disco ball above them, a frown on his forehead, “I think you do, you’re just scared about the next step.”

Kala let out a disappointed sigh, letting him know he didn’t really ease her mind so he added, “Love can be scary but if you don’t take risks now, when?”

“What if it completely ruins our friendship?”

“Then time will heal it, I can assure you that. The more you wait, the worse are the consequences.” His voice was firm and sure but his eyes distant, lost in the memories of another place and time.

She didn’t ask anything else, knowing already what is answers would be, and left the room.

  
  


After they had finished decorating the house, Daniela left to surprise Felix at his apartment with a romantic picnic. Afterwards, when Wolfgang’s shift had ended at 4 p.m, the birthday boy had insisted to pick him up with Kala and go to nearest grocery store.

 

“The time has finally come my friends: I can buy alcohol with my actual I.D.” Felix told them grinning as he took one bottle of beer, one of vodka and one of tequila.

Wolfgang simply shook his head amusedly while Kala frowned, “Are you going to drink all that?”

“No dear Kala, WE are going to drink all this.”

She rolled her eyes and walked past him towards the sodas aisle.

“Come on! It’s my birthday and you won’t even be with us tonight!”

For the briefest second, she feared he had found out about the surprise party and her eyes widened in shock, but relaxed when Wolfgang gestured to her to be quiet. He didn’t know about the party. Felix didn’t know, obviously. He just thought she wouldn’t be able to go out with them later.

 

“I’m here now am I not? I will drink this,” Kala reaches out to grab a bottle of Coca-Cola, “and happily watch you get drunk.”

“I can’t believe you won’t do this for me.” Felix remarked with a genuine hurt pout on his face that almost made Kala burst out laughing.

“I’m not eighteen yet so technically I can’t drink anyway.” 

“Are you saying you will get drunk on your birthday?” He said, teasing her.

 

Priya’s voice was clear in her mind, reminding her that she might not even be in Germany on her and Wolfgang’s eighteenth birthday.

She quickly silenced her though, shaking her head slightly before getting lost in the thoughts of her future.

 

“I did not say that, nice try though.” Kala smiled briefly and playfully ruffled his hair.

 

They decided to go to a nearby park and walk as far as they could; once they reached the place they had been looking for, a small gazebo hidden perfectly between the trees, they sat down on the cold floor.

“Beer first!” Felix said while he eagerly used the bottle opener attached to his key ring.

 

It wasn’t even five in the afternoon, the crisp March air made Kala shiver and bury her face in her wool scarf.

Usually, she wouldn’t be in such place at such time, witnessing to her friends getting drunk before dinner but it was Felix’s birthday and she thought her presence then, and later at the party, was the adequate gift for him.

 

Felix took a big gulp from the bottle and then handed it to Wolfgang. They weren’t used to share bottles, they would often buy two for each of them, but Wolfgang was short of money, having spent much of it for his best friend’s birthday gift.

“Can’t believe I finally turned eighteen,” Felix said as he lightened up a cigarette. “I’ve been waiting for this all my life.”

“Do you feel different?”

“Fuck no, kinda disappointing if you ask me.” 

Wolfgang chuckled softly and shook his head, looking at Kala.

She met his eyes and blushed furiously for no apparent reason as she so often did in his presence.

 

“I need to get a job and get out of that house.” Felix murmured. Ever since his last fight with his parents, things had just gotten worse and he had told his friends about how he couldn’t stand to be in their presence. Wolfgang had been feeling the same with his own family and together, with Kala’s help, they tried to go through one day at the time. They just needed to wait.

 

“But I’m glad to be here,” the birthday boy added, “I won’t have the grand party I was planning but it’s okay, I just need you guys and Dani.” He smiled at them and circled their shoulders with his arms, hugging them.

Wolfgang was visibly embarrassed, his cheeks faintly red, not used to displays of affection but Kala kissed Felix’s cheek affectionately.

“The best has yet to come, Felix.” She blurted out without thinking and he glanced at her questiongly.

“She’s talking about your gift, we decided to give you one from both of us.” Wolfgang said, impassive as ever.

 

“Can I get it now?” Felix asked with the same excitement of a five year old child on Christmas morning.

That would have been the most reasonable thing to do, Kala thought, but they wanted to give it to him during the party.

She opened her mouth to try and come out with an excuse but Wolfgang came to her rescue once again.

“She forgot it at home, sorry.” 

Felix pouted, his boyish features delicate under the faint light that came through the trees.

 

Kala apologized, trying to not meet his eyes, and he simply shrugged.

Before they knew it, the bottle of beer was already finished and they were opening the one of vodka.

Wolfgang was the first one to take a sip straight from the bottle, his brows furrowed slightly at the strong taste.

“How very Russian of you.” Kala teased him, receiving a wink from him that made her blush.

“We won’t drink all of this.” He said to Felix, firmly.

They certainly didn’t want him to arrive completely drunk at his birthday party.

Felix was about to remark, something snarky Kala was sure, when a ball hit his left foot.

 

The three teenagers were startled by the sudden interruption and looked up at two young boys.

“Sorry! We didn’t mean to!” They apologized at the same time.

 

Felix and Wolfgang looked at each other, the former had a spark in his eyes and the latter was shaking his head amusedly, knowing immediately what his friend was thinking.

He stood up and took the ball in his hands, “All good, don’t worry.”

Swiftly, he let the ball fall and kicked it with his feet, Wolfgang standing up right behind him.

“What do you say we play a little? Two against two.” 

The two boys shared an enthusiastic glance and nodded eagerly.

 

The playful football match between them started immediately and Kala observed it with a smile on her face; she had always enjoyed watching her best friends play football, both of them had a clear talent for it and always proved to be an exceptional duo. However, Felix loved the sport a little bit more than Wolfgang, he even dreamed of a future as a professional player, so sometimes he needed to convince his best friend to play with him.

Not this time. Wolfgang was clearly having fun, his soft laugh and carefree smile caught Kala’s attention and made her heart beat faster in her chest.

 

The moment was over as soon as it had started; Kala realized what she was doing and quickly looked away, her cheeks were flushed with embarrassment and another emotion she didn’t want to give a name to.

She felt pathetic in that moment, and stupid, her heart kept refusing to listen to her brain and she didn’t like such feelings. She needed to stop, she knew that — “you’re the one that gave up on this.”, she kept reminding herself, feeling her entire body stiffening with remorse.

 

“Love can be worth the risk.” Alexander had told her that morning and the words kept surfacing in her mind, but just as she had done earlier, she decided to ignore and bury them deep inside her once again.

* * *

 

“Did you have fun with your friends this morning?”

Kala tensed slightly at Sanyam’s question; she had completely forget she lied to her parents about her morning, she had told them she had spent it with Daniela at her house and only then she met up with the boys. She couldn’t say the truth, there was no sense in organizing a surprise party you weren’t supposed to attend.

 

“Yes, dad.” Kala took a long, nervous gulp of water. The Dandekars were all sitting around the table having dinner just like another regular evening but Kala couldn’t ignore the nauseating knot in the pit of her stomach.

She glanced at the clock in the living room: 19.00 — Wolfgang would be waiting for her outside at exactly half past ten.

 

“I told Wolfgang he could end his shift earlier if he wanted, so he could hang out longer with you and Felix, but he refused.”

“Sounds like Wolfgang.” Kala said. Ever since he had started working for her father, Wolfgang had been the perfect worker, taking his job very seriously.

 

“I’m sure they still had fun.” Priya commented, shrugging casually, and her daughter murmured in response “Yes, and they will spend all night together at his party.”

Her voice was filled with bitterness, part of her still angry at her parents, but Priya decided to ignore that.

 

Dinner continued as usual, her family chatted about the events of the day but it all sounded like a distant buzz to Kala’s; she was too nervous about what she was about to do and scared she could say anything that would give her plan away, her body was tense with guilt.

 

When they had finished desert Kala excused herself from the table, avoiding everyone’s eyes as she had done during the entire meal, and went to her bedroom, telling her parents she wasn’t feeling well and needed to lie down.

She decided she would actually sleep for one hour and a half, turning her lights off and hiding her shame under the duvet.

At one point Priya entered the room to check if she was alright and if she needed anything, her maternal concern making her feel even worse. Kala hastily sent her away then, insisting they both needed to rest.

 

When the clock struck half past nine, Kala got up and quietly got out of her bedroom — as she had predicted, her sister was in her own room and her parents had turned off the light of their bedroom, she could hear the faint sound of their television but other than that the house was completely silent. Sanyam and Priya were probably half asleep already and she could finally relax enough to get ready.

 

After taking a shower, she started doing her hair, increasing the volume of her long curls to match the party’s theme, and her makeup, using the same colors of the red metallic jumpsuit Daniela had chosen for her — “There is not such thing as ‘too extravagant’ for an 80s party.” her friend had told her when she tried to complain.

 

Kala had been instructed by Daniela to renounce to her favorite red necklace in favor of big, round earrings, insisting that her neck looked so elegant with the strapless jumpsuit it would have been a shame to hide it.

She was putting on her shoes when the phone vibrated on the nightstand.

 

_ Wolfgang, 10.24 pm:  _

_ slightly late. wait before going out your apartment. _

 

Kala sighed, not entirely surprised, and sat down on her bed. The minutes passed and Wolfgang didn’t text her again, she was starting to get annoyed and her nerves increased by every single minute; what if her parents, or worse her noisy sister, would come in her bedroom and saw her dressed like that? She needed to get out of her house as soon as possible.

 

Quickly, she arranged the pillows under her duvet in order to create a shape similar to her body and turned off the lights of her bedroom before quietly walking towards the living room, bag over her shoulder and coat in her hands — careful not to make any noise in the dark.

She was about to open the door when a cough coming from the couch startled her and her body freezed when she realized what was happening.

 

“Kala, please turn around.” Her father’s whisper sounded louder than it actually was in the silent room.

She silently cursed herself and slowly turned her body, her brown eyes finding her father’s immediately despite the darkness.

Sanyam was staring at her, his entire body seemed to show the disappointment he was feeling.

“I suspected this,” he said, “but it breaks my heart to see it with my own eyes.”

 

His words did nothing to ease her guilt and she felt the weight of them heavy on her chest.

“Dad-“ Kala tried to explain but her father quickly interrupted.

“I never expected something like this from you Kala, from Daya maybe but not from you.” Sanyam straightened his shoulders and gestured to her to get closer to him; she did, and stood right in front of him with tears in her eyes.

 

Kala had known her actions would hurt her parents and it hadn’t been an easy decision. 

Her entire life she had tried to be the perfect girl to her parents’ eyes, always accepting their decisions because that was a dutiful daughter as supposed to do and, unlike Daya, she had never raised her voice at them.

But as the years passed, Kala had been starting to realize she needed more from her life, she wanted things that went against her parents’ wishes and the perfect world they had organized for her was beginning to make her feel suffocated.

So, as much as it pained her, she had decided to do something for herself for once. Now, she just had to pay the consequences.

 

“I need you to try to understand me, Dad.” Kala’s voice was choked up with emotion.

“I do, I do understand you.”

“No you don’t.” His voice was so oddly calm it frustrated her. He was supposed to scream at her indignantly and ground her for the rest of her life, like all the other parents did.

“I do. You know how strict your grandparents were, I couldn’t even go to my friends’ house to study.”

Sanyam rarely spoke of his childhood nor his teen years, and Kala knew he hadn’t an easy life in India.

“I loved them,” he continued, his voice breaking as it always did when he spoke of his late parents, “but when I was your age, I promised myself I would always put my children’s happiness and wishes before my own, something they rarely did.”

 

Sanyam let out a deep sigh, his fingers going to his eyes to rub them and try to release some tension.

“I know it’s hard to live in a country where the culture is so different from your own but you must understand your mother and I just want to keep you safe.”

 

Kala sat down on the couch next to him, her head falling to rest on her hands. 

“I just wanted to go to my best friend’s party, even for one hour, that’s it.”

“You should have talked to us.”

“That’s what I did Dad!” She exclaimed as frustrated tears fell down her cheeks, “I tried to have a conversation and my mother didn’t even want to hear it! It’s always like this! The moment I say something you don’t like, you turn deaf.”

Sanyam listened carefully to her words and gently laid an hand on her back.

“I didn’t know you felt this way.” He said, his daughter’s unhappiness truly clear to him for the first time.

Kala raised her hair to look at him, “What was I supposed to do? Tell you and mom I want more in life than you think? We all know how mom sees me in five years, and it’s not with a college degree.”

“Your mother only wants your happiness.” Her father defended Priya but the look in his eyes didn’t seem to quite match his voice. He firmly believed that, she thought, but he wasn’t a fool, he knew what his wife really wanted for her daughter.

 

“I don’t doubt that, I’m just not sure she really knows what can make me happy.” Right in that moment, her phone vibrated with a new incoming message.

 

_ Wolfgang, 10.40 pm: right outside your house. hurry, daniela said felix wants to go to his Uncle’s. _

 

“Is that Wolfgang?” He asked, glancing at the phone, and for the briefest second, Kala thought he might have not been referring to the message.

She cleared her voice with a cough and nodded.

“He’s waiting for me outside.” Kala blurted out and quickly added, “but he’s not to blame about… this. I convinced him to get involved.”

Sanyam’s lips curved in a tiny smile, “Don’t worry about it.”

“I will tell him to go to the party without me.” Her fingers started to type a new message on her phone but got stopped by her father’s voice.

“Don’t.”

 

Kala frowned in confusion, completely confused by him and his heavy, resigned sigh.

“You can go.”

“W-W-What?”

“I know I’ll regret this but… I can’t do this to you. Not tonight, not on Felix’s birthday.”

 

She stood up quickly, her eyes widening in surprise, “Are you sure?”

“No but I want to try to give you a chance, you deserve it… despite what you were about to do. Be home at 2 a.m.”

Kala couldn’t believe her ears and squealed in delight.

Sanyam laughed softly at his daughter’s enthusiasm and stood up from the couch as well, “Be quiet or you will wake your mother. I won’t forget about your attempt to sneak out though, Miss.”

“Of course, Dad. I… thank you. Just, thank you.”

Kala hugged him, her arms holding him tightly as he caressed her hair with the tenderness only fathers seemed to have.

 

“I love you,  _ Beti _ .” He murmured against her hair; she knew it was difficult for him to go against her mother’s wishes but he clearly had understood what this night meant to her and her need to be just like everyone else for a few hours, without being worried about disappointing her parents and their morals.

“I love you too, Papa.”

 

Sanyam softly kissed her forehead and with his head gestures towards the door.

“Now go and be safe, let’s not make that young man wait for you any second longer.”

* * *

 

“Finally.” Wolfgang exclaimed annoyedly when he saw Kala coming out of the building.

“Hey, you’re the one who was late.” She said as her teeth chattered and they quickly started walking towards the nearest bus stop — the long black coat she had chosen managed to hide her outfit but wasn’t an effective shelter to the cold, Berlin night.

“Besides, I was talking with my dad.” 

 

Wolfgang’s head immediately turned to look at her and his feet momentarily stopped.

“You what?”

“Yes. He caught me sneaking out and we talked, he decided to let me come.”

“Well, that’s good.” He said, still completely confused, and added, “Does he…”

“Know you were an accomplice in my escape? Yes he does.”

“Good, there goes my job.” Wolfgang shrugged casually at her answer and she laughed, “I told him you didn’t have anything to do with it.”

 

As they approached the stop, they saw their bus arriving and speed up their pace to catch it in time, once inside they leaned on one of windows; they stood side by side in the empty bus, their eyes sharing a glance for a minute longer than usual.

“What’s your curfew?” Wolfgang murmured, moving her attention from his deep blue eyes to his lips.

“2.00 am.”

“Alright, you’re not allowed to get wasted, you know that?” He was clearly afraid of having to face her parents’ anger and his serious tone made her roll her eyes.

“Yes, dad.”

He snorted indignantly and shook his head, the perfect image of a responsible parent, “I’ve had my fair share experience with drunk teenagers thanks to Felix.”

Kala playfully messed up his blonde hair, carefully slicked back for the party, to shut him up once and for all, “You don’t have to worry, I’ll be the one taking care of you, not the other way around.”

* * *

When Kala and Wolfgang arrived at Alexander’s apartment they were met with a disappointed frown from Lito Rodriguez; everyone was already there, dressed in their most colorful outfits that took the 80s theme of the party to a whole other level. The only ones missing were Dani and the birthday boy.

 

“She’s incredibly mad at you,” Lito said, reproaching them for their late hour, “and she wonders if you have any idea how hard it is to distract Felix.”

Daniela had the very important job to make Felix stay away from his uncle’s house as longer as possible while all the guests arrived, they had decided that only when everyone was there she would let Felix arrive.

“We’ve been his friends since he was eleven, I think we do.” Wolfgang mumbled annoyingly as he remembered all the messages Daniela had sent him over the evening to remind him to be punctual.

 

“We’re now, that’s all it matters.” Kala said with a bright smile on her lips while she took off her coat, still not quite believing she was there.

Suddenly, she felt all eyes on her.

 

“Holy hell Kala! You look… incredible.” Lito exclaimed as he, and pretty much everyone else near them, stared at her, admiring the way her jumpsuit hugged her body and her long curls framed her face.

 

Kala’s eyes couldn’t help but search for Wolfgang’s, looking for any kind of expression on his face that would tell her what she needed to know. 

She found them. The blue, deep eyes seemed to get darker under the dim light of the party, they wandered from her red lips to the curves of her waist, staring at her in such an intense way she could almost feel the weight of his gaze on her. Her breath accelerated when he smiled at her like he had never done before, causing her entire body to tremble.

“What do you think?” Kala had no idea where the strength and courage to ask such thing so directly had come from. She just knew she needed to know. Needed the opinion and approval she craved the most.

Wolfgang’s lips curved into a smirk and whispered so softly she was sure he wanted to be heard only by her, “Red is your color.” 

His voice filled with such awe and his body that seemed to be inevitably drawn to hers told her so much more though, and she basked in his attention. For the first time in her life, Kala felt truly wanted, desired.

 

“It’s getting hot in here!” Ismail approached them and his cocky attempt to a compliment burst their bubble immediately. Without knowing why, he found himself on the receiving end of three deadly glares.

Kala’s remark died on her lips when she noticed his outfit: white pants and jacket with a light blue t-shirt underneath it, identical to what Don Johnson wore in Miami Vice. And identical to what Lito was wearing as well.

 

Wolfgang and Kala shared an amused glance and tried to stop themselves from laughing, failing miserably.

“Seriously? Miami Vice, both of you?” Wolfgang teased them shaking his head.

Lito sighed dramatically, his hands on his hips to show all his disapproval, “I tried to convince him to go home and change but he is a tough one.”

“At least we respected the theme.” Ismail replied and gestured towards Wolfgang’s outfit; a black suit with a white shirt, slightly opened at the top to show his chest and a single gold necklace around his neck.

“It’s exactly what Al Pacino wore in Scarface.” He said, with the smugness of someone who looked good and knew it.

“It’s boring.” 

Wolfgang simply rolled his eyes, muttering something about how he was used to Ismail’s envy that immediately caused them to start bickering playfully.

 

Kala and Lito completely ignored them and they started talking to each other but they were quickly interrupted by the sound of an incoming message on Lito’s phone.

“Holy… They’re outside. Quick! Everyone hide!” He dramatically gestured towards all the guests, “Quick! Turn off the damn music! And the lights!”

Everyone hid around the apartment, including Kala and Wolfgang who hid together behind the armchair in the living room.

Footsteps could be heard outside and Felix’s distinctive voice seemed to get closer and closer.

“My Uncle said he left the keys under the doormat,” he said to Daniela and Kala thought he must have reached down to grab them.

“Wolfgang hasn’t replied to any of my message.” The metal of the keys clinked against the door as he opened it, “I wonder where the fuck-”

He was quickly interrupted by loud voices and shouts the moment he stepped into the house and turned on the lights.

“SURPRISE!” They all yelled, coming out of their hiding places.

 

The look on Felix’s face was priceless; his eyes kept moving from face to face, actually trying to realize what was going, and the confused smirk on his lips turned into a bright smile when he spotted his best friends.

Felix turned to look at Daniela, who threw her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, “Happy Birthday, my love!” she said and he kissed her once again.

 

Kala and Wolfgang were the first ones to approach them and quickly hugged Felix, holding him tightly in their group hug.

“Happy birthday!” The said at the same time and Felix felt so happy in that very moment he could have sworn he was dreaming.

He ended the hug to hold Kala’s hand, “you’re here too?” 

She nodded, grinning enthusiastically, “Yes! Long story, but yes.”

Felix couldn’t stop smiling as he checked everyone’s outfits.

“Damn you all look good. I love the theme.” He said much to Wolfgang’s amusement: he always liked to be right.

“Thank you, it was my idea.” Wolfgang shrugged and pointed to Alexander’s bedroom, “Your outfit is in there.”

The birthday boy patted his left shoulder and excitedly walked to the room, stopping sometime to greet all the guests.

“Do you think he will like it?” Daniela asked them and they didn’t even need to think about the answer.

“He will love it.”

 

He did. Felix was completely over the moon with the outfit his friends had chosen for him: blue baggy pants and a colorful, printed shirt that made him stand out from the crowd, his accessories, two golden necklaces, perfectly fitted his personality and the theme of the party as well.

“It’s as if you read my mind!” Felix said, spinning around himself to let everyone admire his clothes. 

He turned his eyes over his friends and all the guests, having the time of their lives while Dead or Alive played in the background. “This is all absolutely perfect,” however, he glared at Wolfgang, “Your outfit could have been better, though.”

His best friend scoffed and hung his head in defeat.

  
  


The party seemed to be a success right from the beginning; between shots of hard liquor, dancing to the greatest disco hits and matches of beer pongs, Felix was enjoying his first taste of life as a legal adult. 

At one point, there had even been a dance competition between him and Ismail. Obviously, he had won — and not because he was the birthday boy, as Daniela had reassured him with a kiss.

 

“Do you think we should give him our gift now?” Kala asked Wolfgang, who was standing right next to her.

“Sure,” he gestured at Felix and Daniela with his head, “but I doubt he will like it as much as the one Dani is giving him tonight.”

“Gross, Wolfgang.”

He chuckled at her disgusted face and, after taking an envelope from Kala’s purse, they approached Felix.

 

“What’s this?” Felix asked with a bright smile on his lips.

“Your gift,” Kala said and handed it to him, “from us, with love. Open it.”

He didn’t have to be told twice; with the same excitement of a five year old on Christmas morning, he opened the envelope and his smile turned into a confused frown.

Inside it, he found a 100€ bill and a small note that said: 

 

_ We wish our gift would have been more romantic but as you know, tickets for the World Cup aren’t available yet. We love you so much brother, more than any gift could show. Here’s to 18 more years, together. _

__ \- Kala and Wolfgang _ _

 

 

_ (you better have this money in June or I will beat  _

_ your ass. - Wolfgang) _

  
  


“There’s so much more we could say but I think we all know words aren’t simply enough, right?” Kala murmured, almost coyly. Next to her, Wolfgang was smiling softly, something so rare to see but not to Kala — he always seemed to smile like that around them.

 

Felix’s eyes were filled with tears and he didn’t even try to hide it as the typical male teenager would have done, instead he opened his arms to hug his best friends tightly.

“Thank you. Thank you.” 

He had been talking about attending a World Cup’s match ever since Germany had been announced as the host country but Kala and Wolfgang knew that wasn’t the reason why his voice was trembling with emotion.

 

“We love you, brother.” Wolfgang whispered into his ear, the three of them sharing a moment of pure love and friendship in front of everyone.

And Felix silently thanked them once more, calling them his greatest gift.

 

The party officially started then; loud music blasted out of speakers as the group of teenagers danced and chatted animatedly. They had invited almost everyone that had classes with Felix and even though the space was limited they didn’t seem to mind.

Felix was the star of the night already, he played beer-pong (beating both Ismail and Wolfgang, much to their chagrin) and organized a karaoke contest where everyone had to sing their favorite song from the eighties. 

Wolfgang vehemently refused to perform, and not even Kala could help Felix to convince him. Lito, however, had shown his talent as a performer and made everyone’s night.

* * *

As hours passed, everyone seemed to have fun. Everyone but Kala.

“Cariño stop frowning so much or you will get wrinkles.” Daniela caressed her hair as she leaned on the kitchen counter, a glass of wine in her hands, “What’s wrong? It’s your first night out.”

“Nothing.” Kala sighed, and hiccuped, making her friend wonder how many glasses she had had.

Daniela knew it wasn’t  _ nothing _ . They were laughing and dancing in the living room with their friends just minutes before, there was no sign of sadness in Kala’s face. But Daniela had known exactly when things had changed: the minute Anastasia Becker had took Wolfgang’s hand, inviting him to dance with her. That had instantly changed Kala’s mood, that had subtly left the living room to hide  — and drink her problems away.

Less than ten minutes later, Daniela found her in the the kitchen.

 

“It’s normal to drink when you’re jealous.”

“I’m not,” Kala closed her eyes to ease the sudden dizziness that overwhelmed her, “I’m not jealous. It’s just that… I had no idea peach-flavored vodka tasted so good.” 

She tried to convince her friend. And herself.

It was a futile try, that was obvious to both girls; Kala had seen how that beautiful girl had touched him with her perfectly manicured fingers and how her big green eyes had looked at him with the confidence only a lover could have.

But the thing that had struck her like a punch in the stomach was the slight smirk Wolfgang had given her, right before following her to the other side of the room.

 

“He’s not interested in her, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Daniela tried to comfort her friend but it seemed to only worsen the situation as tears welled up in her eyes and she reached the bottle of vodka to pour herself a shot.

Kala had no experience whatsoever with alcohol and she would quickly lose control, Daniela knew that. 

“I think you’ve had enough.” She said, taking the bottle away from her.

“I’m fine!” Kala, with a trembling voice that said the exact opposite, tried to take it back. Daniela sighed deeply and realized it was too late already: her friend was more than tipsy, now she just needed to stop her from getting completely wasted.

She was opening the fridge to take a bottle of water when Marie, one of their classmates, told her Lito was looking for her. 

“I’m leaving you here for a brief moment, Kala,” She told her softly and handed her a bottle, “Drink this and don’t go anywhere near alcohol, do you hear me?”

Kala nodded feebly and held the bottle tightly in her hands.

 

Daniela came back to the kitchen as quickly as possible, fearing the worst, but to her surprise she found Kala sitting on the counter with a bag of chips in her hands and Ismail standing next to her.

“She wanted to open another bottle of vodka,” Ismail told Daniela, his tone casual but slightly amused, “but I convinced her to open a bag of chips instead.”

She smiled thankfully to him and told him she could take it from there; she just needed to sober her friend up and keep her away from alcohol.

It was easier said than done, though, and right when they were in the middle of keeping her away from a glass, Wolfgang came into the kitchen.

 

“WOLFIE!” Kala exclaimed as soon as she saw him and threw her arms around his neck.

“Kala...” he said,completely taken aback from her behavior and asked her, half amused and worried, “Are you drunk?”

“Abso-lute-ly no.” She replied in between giggles.

“Ok.” Wolfgang smiled, the kind of smile you give to a small child.

That lasted only a few seconds before it turned into a disapproving frown, “Were you here when this happened?” He asked Daniela and Ismail, who shook his head quickly.

 

Kala was completely oblivious to the tension in the room and kept her eyes focused on Wolfgang’s face.

“Why don’t we sit down for a while? Calm down a bit.” His voice was deep with tenderness and it had an hint of a stern order, it sounded so hypnotic to her she was tempted to caress his cheek and make him talk more.

Instead, she took his hand, suddenly feeling brave and free, emotions so foreign to her personality but so pleasant she found herself thanking the alcohol that ran through her blood.

“Why don’t we dance? That sounds more fun.” And before he could say anything, she made him follow her back to the living room, their impromptu dance-floor.

 

It started as two friends, one more sober than the other, dancing somewhat awkwardly in the middle of the room; Kala moved her body with carefree enthusiasm, her hips moving right in time with the music, and Wolfgang couldn’t help but stand in front of her, still, staring at her every single movement.

She would have been lying if she said she didn’t feel  _ something _ by the way he was looking at her, but he was also visibly nervous so she took his hand and smiled, reassuring him that there wasn’t absolutely nothing wrong with what they were doing. On another day, the situation would have been completely different and Kala would have been the one that needed to be reassured: she liked the change, though.

 

After Wolfgang’s initial awkwardness, they started dancing foolishly, jumping up and down to the rhythm of Just Can’t Get Enough by Depeche Mode, without a care in the world.

For these brief minutes, they were able to be the Wolfgang and Kala they were years before; the ones that weren’t involved with the typical teenage drama that was constantly present in their lives lately. 

Wolfgang took Kala’s hand and made her spin around herself once, the sudden action making her giggle like a child, and they laughed, and laughed, like they hadn’t done in a long time.

He made her spin once again but this time, they both immediately regretted it.

 

Kala suddenly paled as the alcohol in her stomach tried to surface and she had to stop, her hands covering her face as she stayed still and closed her eyes to focus and keep herself from throwing up.

“I don’t feel so good.” She murmured to Wolfgang, who had laid an hand on her back to help her.

“Yes, I noticed.” He replied and gestured towards the terrible color of her face, “Come with me.”

 

Wolfgang took her hand and together they went to the bathroom; he opened the window while she sat unsteadily on the toilet bowl, her head falling down to meet her hands and cover her eyes.

He took an hand towel rom the small cabinet and damped it with cold water before softly wetting her neck and face with it. 

“I want to sleep.” She whispered, her voice showing him exactly how drunk she was.

Wolfgang considered what to do next: he could take her to Alexander’s bedroom and stay with her through the night to assure she wouldn’t throw up anywhere, but that would be a problem considering her curfew, she was supposed to be back at home in less than an hour.

He couldn’t bring her back in such state though, Sanyam would have probably fired him, forbidden him from ever seeing her again and ground her for the rest of her life. He needed to sober her up as much as he could, and hope for the best.

 

“Kala,” he crouched down and gently put a strand of hair behind her ear to look at her, “Listen to me, you have to stay here until I come back with some water, alright?”

His words were filled with tenderness, so sweet and reassuring she fought the urge to laid her head on his chest and beg him to play with her hair. “Stay.” She said instead, the idea of being away from him made tears surface in her eyes. Damn alcohol.

He chuckled softly and stood up, “I’ll be right back, don’t worry.” 

With these last words, he left her alone and closed the door behind him.

 

Kala stayed in the bathroom for what seemed like an eternity to her; she peed, washed her hands and splashed water on her face — she cursed loudly, so uncharacteristic of her sober self, when she remembered she had makeup on and opened her eyes expecting the worst, only to realize it was waterproof.

The water and the long, deep breaths she took made her feel more sober than before and she decided to look for Wolfgang.

 

She found him almost immediately, due to the limited space of the apartment, but as her eyes landed on him she regretted leaving the bathroom.

He was on a far corner of the room, almost hidden by the couch and even though the light lightened him poorly it was clear he was in deep conversation with a girl.

Kala’s eyes narrowed trying to get a better look of her while her heart beat madly in her chest with rage and a terrible nod formed in her throat when she recognized her: Anastasia. There was no mistake, she thought with sharp jealousy, her golden sparkly dress could have been recognized from the other side of the street.

Usually, she was able to control her own emotions and not act impulsively but now, as a considerable amount of alcohol was already going through her veins, she simply walked over the table where various drinks could be found and drank to ignore the painful thoughts wandering in her head.

 

The following events were a confusing blur to her: she knew she was completely drunk by the way her body seemed to move without specific commands from her part and her head felt heavy but strangely light at the same, she felt bold and vulnerable, the happiest she could be and the saddest.

“Kala?” She heard her own name and turned slowly to meet the boy behind her with an enthusiastic, if not creepy, grin on her face.

“FELIX!” The loud kisses she gave him on each cheek answered immediately any questions he had about her sobriety. 

She threw an arm around his neck, forcing him to hold her tightly and prevent her from falling, “My one and truest friend.”  

 

“Where is Wolfgang? Dani told me he was with you.”

“Probably somewhere with someone, he always does that you know, like always, always even when he thinks I don’t know or you, maybe he doesn’t care though, do you think he cares Felix?”

Felix’s blue eyes widened in surprise when he realized Kala’s rants were even worse when she was drunk.

“Your breath smells like cheap alcohol and you can barely stand.” His was meant to be a simple observation, the ones you make without thinking because they’re the objective truth, and he could have never predicted her reaction. Her eyes suddenly filled themselves with tears, her quivering chin announced a breakdown that came very soon.

“Why are you so mean?” 

Felix took a long sigh and before he could say anything, Wolfgang walked quickly towards them.

 

“Dani told me you were looking after her! She’s completely wasted!” Felix scolded him and pointed at her.

“I’m not drunk!” She murmured indignantly but was ignored by both of them.

“I left her alone in the bathroom for less than ten minutes, Felix.” Wolfgang crossed his arms, clearly not appreciating the judgement in his friend’s voice.

“It was more than that.” Again, she was ignored.

While the two boys discussed about what to do with her, Felix wanted her to stay while Wolfgang preferred she slept in her own home, she closed and opened her eyes slowly, suddenly feeling incredibly tired.

“FINE” Felix yelled, “Take her home! But I won’t go with you, I like Sanyam too much to be hated by him.”

“He won’t hate me.” He assured him and himself.

“Of course he will. Here,” He gently pushed Kala towards Wolfgang and she immediately placed her head on his shoulder, “All yours.”

* * *

 

Wolfgang found himself regretting his decision as soon as they stepped out of Alexander’s apartment. Kala shifted from falling sleeping on her feet to dance and sing,  _ yell _ , her favorites Bollywood songs in the middle of street — stubbornly ignoring his commands and glares.

He had enough, but had no idea the worst had yet to come.

 

One single raindrop fell down on his cheek and he threw his head back, sighing, in resignation. Sanyam was definitely going to fire him.

In a matter of minutes, rain started to fall heavily on them but instead of looking for a shelter, Kala giggles excitedly and started singing.

“I’m singing in the rain,” she screamed, twirling in delight to fully enjoy the rain, “Just singing in the rain, what a glorious feeling, I’m happy again.” 

 

“You will catch a cold.” It should have been a reproach but instead Wolfgang’s voice betrayed him and showed his slight amusement.

She was incredibly annoying when drunk, that was true, but also so spontaneous and genuinely  _ Kala  _ he couldn’t help but stare at her in awe.

Kala stuck her tongue out at him and smiled as she enjoyed the freshness of the cold rain on her hot mouth, “You’re becoming so boring, you spend too much time with me.” She remarked with her tongue still out.

 

Wolfgang chuckled softly, reassuring her, “You’re not boring, quite the contrary actually.”

However, her attention had already shifted elsewhere by the time he talked and the sweet tenderness in his eyes was completely ignored much to his relief.

It seemed as if the rain had no intention to stop soon and he crossed his arms around his shivering body as he kept a careful eye on Kala splashing around in puddles. When she almost tripped and fell on the slippery street, he decided it was enough.

 

“Kala, let’s go.” He said, sounding like a stern father.

“I’m  _ fineee _ .” She stressed the final word proving that she was not, in fact, fine.

Wolfgang’s patience was wearing thin and with a final sigh, he walked over her and firmly gripped her arm, dragging her with him under the small glass roof of the nearest bus stop.

She pouted and whined like a child but he didn’t care one bit, he just wanted to reach her home as soon as possible and make sure she could rest under her own roof.

 

Kala sat on of the seats available, grimacing when she felt the cold surface through her dress.

“I’m just having fun, I thought that was the point of the party.” She said slowly, her head felt heavily upon her shoulders and she wasn’t even sure what words were coming out her mouth.

Wolfgang scoffed disappointingly, “That was the intention, yes, not getting completely drunk like a fool.” He checked the watch on his wrist and shook his head slightly, “We’re already thirty minutes past your curfew.”

 

“What a responsible lad you’ve become.”

“One of us has to be.”

 

All tease from Kala’s voice vanished when she whispered, “It’s not like I will have another chance to get drunk anyway.”

“Now you definitely won’t. I’ll be surprised if your parents ever let you out of the house again.”

The faintest trace of clarity in her head made her think that, while Wolfgang’s statement was absolutely true, it was clear from the beginning that this would have been her only night of fun ー she knew her parents too well.

As if he had read her mind, he said, “If convincing them to let you go out was hard before now you just proved them you can’t be trusted.”

 

The evident criticism in his voice made her dramatically roll her eyes and glare at him almost comically.

“I think you’ve done worse things.” 

“I don’t have parents like yours.”

“Lucky you.” She blurted out sarcastically, not giving her words the appropriate importance.

He smiled bitterly and sat next to her, “Yes. Having parents that care about you must be terrible.”

“You don’t know what it’s like… Having to constantly meet their expectations, not being able to live your own life in the way you want it.”

 

Wolfgang thought about his current situation; his grandfather’s insistence on joining the family’s business, the lessons he was forced to take, the tension and violence he had to witness every day in his house, and the impossibility of leaving simply because he didn’t have the means to live on his own. His life was certainly different from Kala’s but they found themselves in the same place.

 

“I understand better than you think.”

Kala leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, “Sorry. Your family is definitely definitely definitely the worst. I’m surprised you’re not a serial killer, or a thief. Or both.”

He laughed genuinely at this, amused by how close to the truth she actually was. But she didn’t have to know that.

 

They sat still in silence as they waited for the bus to arrive and with the sound of the heavy rain in the background, Wolfgang wondered if Kala had fallen asleep.

“You know, technically it’s your fault.” She said suddenly, breaking the silence.

“What are you talking about?”

“If you hadn’t been occupied elsewhere we could have had fun together.”

Wolfgang frowned, his body tensing slightly at her accusation.

“I mean, I thought this was our opportunity to have fun all together, not flirt with random girls.”

 

Realization dawned on him, hitting him like a bucket of cold water, but it seemed so strangely good to be true. Was it possible that she was jealous? Wolfgang dared to hope she was.

“I didn’t flirt with anyone.” He said, glancing at her from the corner of his eye to observe her reaction.

Kala nodded feebly and hit his chest with an accusing finger, “Yes, yes you did.”

“Are you talking about Anastasia? She’s nothing to me.”

She snorted loudly, derisively, “Please! You two fucked, I could feel it and she looked at you like she knew what your dick looked like!”

At this, he laughed heartily, throwing his head back, but he quickly stopped when she punched his arm.

“I’m sorry. I’m not used to hearing you talk like this.”

“I’m not a prude.” She pouted, so very offended, “I can say words like dick, fuck, cock, pussy, ana-“

Wolfgang quickly interrupted her by holding up one hand, his lips quivering slightly as he tried to control his laughter.

“Got it.” The cocky grin on his lips didn’t fade, “I don’t understand why does this has anything to do with you.”

Kala opened her mouth and quickly closed it, her big eyes shifting from his face to her hands as she tried to find an answer while he looked at her with a raised eyebrow, clearly amused.

 

“I don’t like it.” She murmured, catching him completely off guard with her honesty. On another day, she would have quickly changed the subject but this time, thanks to her inebriation, he had the chance to know exactly what she thought and he had to take it.

“What?”

Kala took a deep breath as tears filled her eyes again and Wolfgang had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. He wondered if pushing her to open up in this state was a good idea after all.

 

“I don’t like seeing you with other girls. Thinking of you with them. It makes me feel sick, nauseous, and it makes me want to punch you in the face. Repeatedly.” He simply stared at her impassively, at loss of words.

“And, and,” she kept going, moving her hands frantically, “it’s like you don’t even care! Do you know how many times I’ve heard girls talking about you? You have quite the reputation, Wolfgang Bogdanow.” 

All the deep hurt and jealousy in her voice was weakly concealed with a trembling, bitter laugh; she stuttered through the words, occasionally gulped to ease the dryness in her mouth and ran her hands through her hair nervously — she thought she must have looked incredibly pathetic.

 

“You’ve never said anything.” He whispered, gently brushing her messy curls away from her face.

She nodded and sniffed. She had wanted to say so many things to him, could say them to him right then but the lump in her throat stung painfully and her head was spinning so much.

“It hurts.” That’s all her said, one single tear falling down on her cheek.

 

Wolfgang felt his own heart clench in his chest, her pain becoming his own, and cursed himself for being so blind, so stupid. He reached out one arm to pull her even closer to him but she shrunk away with the last energies she had.

“I’m sorry. If I had known-“

“What?”

“I wouldn’t have waste my time in meaningless relationships. I never thought you cared.”

Kala was the one to get closer then, her watery eyes fixed on his and her fingers tentatively touched his face. 

“I do, I do care. Too much, maybe.”

 

He smiled and leaned his forehead against hers, “You have no idea how happy that makes me.”

“Do you like to see me suffering?”

“No but now I know at least.”

“Know what?”

“You like me just as much as I like you, in the same way.”

“I should have,” she gulped down her saliva to control the sudden nausea that hit her, “I should have gotten drunk sooner.”

 

Kala’s lips were inches away from Wolfgang’s, whose were turned upward in a faint smirk, and she blinked slowly.

“I love your dimples.” She commented absently,  she licked her bottom lip and moved her head to finally kiss him, encouraged by the alcohol in her system.

She closed her eyes, feeling as weightless as a cloud, and expected to meet his mouth but instead she found only air; he had quickly moved away his head from her and was glancing down at her with half-closed eyes.

“Don’t you want to kiss me?”

Wolfgang shook his head feebly, his mouth set in determination. He had turned so serious in matter of seconds, she couldn’t help but feel the pain of rejection.

“I’m such an idiot.” She whined, starting to cry.

“No, no.” He realized his mistake quickly and held her face in his hands, forcing her to look at him instead of despairing.

“I want to kiss you, so badly.” His thumb dried a tear in the corner of her eye, “But I don’t want our first kiss to happen like this. You’re drunk, it’s not right.”

 

Kala opened her mouth indignantly and reassured him, “I’m not that drunk!” 

“Yes. Yes, you are.”

She could have kept defining herself, and would have if not only a new wave of nausea hit her sharply. With one hand on her mouth, she closed her eyes again.

“What happened?” Wolfgang asked her, worriedly.

“I have to throw up. I’m definitely going to throw up.”

* * *

 

The first thing Kala felt was the faint morning light on her face and the breeze that came with it through the windows. 

She rubbed her eyes slowly and blinked them open, a faint sense of panic overwhelmed as she looked around her surroundings. She had no idea where she was; it was a large bedroom, with white walls and black furniture, its perfect tidiness didn’t do anything to ease her nerves but the oversized male shirt she was wearing was the one thing that accelerated her heartbeat.

She sat rapidly on the bed and regretted immediately — she couldn’t remember the last time her head had hurt so much.

 

“There are an aspirin and a glass of water on the nightstand.” The male voice coming from the other side of the room instantly calmed her but she felt even more confused.

“Wolfgang? Where are we?”

He walked over to the bed and sat on it, right in front of her.  

“My bedroom.”

 

Her eyes widened in shock and she took another look at the room, noticing two things that could only belong to him: a photo of his mother on his desk and next to it, the miniature statue of Ganesh she had given him years before.

“Why?” She asked him, already expecting the worst. The last thing she remembered were them waiting for the bus in the middle of the night.

“You threw up all over you dress last night and I couldn’t take you home like that.”

 

Wolfgang thought Kala’s eyes couldn’t possibly get bigger. She shook her head and softly repeated no, no,  _ no _ .

“My parents are going to kill me!”

He reached over to grab the glass and the aspirin, and handed them to her.

“I called your father and explained you had fallen asleep at Alexander’s house, asking if I could take you home myself this morning.”

“Did he believe it?”

“I doubt it. He said he won’t say anything to your mother, though, if that’s any consolation.”

She grimaced, already hearing her father’s scolding, “No, it’s not.”

 

Kala glanced down at the shirt she was wearing and bit her bottom lip nervously, her mind looking for the appropriate way to ask the question she wanted.

“You took your dress off on your own and put on the shirt. It was difficult but I didn’t see anything, don’t worry.”

She let out a relieved sigh, wondering why she doubted him, and thanked him. 

“I want to apologize for what I said or did last night, I don’t remember anything but I feel the need to do this.”

His mouth was set on a straight line and the lines of his face as unreadable as ever, “What’s the last thing you remember?”

She took a sip of water while she tried hard to remember but the more she tried, the more her head hurt.

“We were at the party and you were arguing with Felix, that’s all.”

Silence enfolded the room, her doe eyes fixed on his but it was as if he wasn’t seeing her. His jaw clenched, his mouth instinctively hid his disappointment with a smirk.

 

Wolfgang stood up silently and grabbed a small paper bag from his desk. 

“I went out this morning to buy you a toothbrush and clothes, I thought you wouldn’t like to go back home covered in vomit. My bathroom is right there.” He pointed at the open door on his right.

She stood up slowly, her legs trembled while she took the bag from his hands, “Thank you.” she whispered with a mix of gratitude and shame before walking towards the bathroom.

“Wolfgang,” she turned once again to look at him, “Did… did something happen last night?”

He considered his answer carefully, his mind quickly working over the possibilities, he could have said anything and she would have believed him, he could have told her the truth and they could finally have the conversation he had been waiting for.

“No. Nothing important.” 

She smiled shyly and he tried to do the same but only managed a faint nod, his heart breaking once again silently.

 

While brushing her teeth in the bathroom, Kala decided to take a quick shower to clear her mind. After asking Wolfgang where he kept his towels, she stepped inside and turned on the water. She stood there for what it felt like an hour; letting the hot water warm her body, she closed her eyes and felt the muscles of her body relaxing, leaning her forehead on the glass.

For the first time in her life, there was this big, blankless hole in her brain that seemed to torment her. Not knowing what she had done was so incredibly frustrating she felt like crying. 

Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm herself down and approach the problem reasonably: she would have focused her energies on remembering what happened after the party, after they left the house. She knew Wolfgang and Felix had argued over her and she did have flashes of her being held by Wolfgang in the middle of the street. But there was the faintest feeling of missing something vital, something she knew she needed to remember.

 

They say drunk people always tell the truth, she thought, she just needed to be honest with herself then. What truth could have possibly been told last night? 

 

Kala’s head snapped up when the only answer came to her, her hands slowly covering her mouth in shock.

“No, no,” she said, her eyes wide while she shook her head, “I can not be that stupid.”

In the moment she starting to ponder what she could have said, her brain decided to answer all her questions: glimpses of her and Wolfgang, completely wet, sitting at a bus stop flashed before her eyes and her words rang in her ears. The rant about his conquests, their confessions, the almost kiss. Everything still felt like a blur to her but the reality of the events was there, clear as the day.

 

With trembling hands, Kala turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. She had to talk to him immediately. Her hair was still completely wet and his shirt clung on her damp body as she loudly opened the door.

“Why did you lie?” She asked, shouting, Wolfgang.

He turned around to look at her, a confused frown appearing on his face.

“You told me nothing important had happened last night, but that isn’t true is it?”

For a minute, he wondered how could she know, if she had remembered everything or if perhaps she just had a vague idea of something happening.

“What do you want to know?”

“What happened while we were heading home.”

“You started singing and dancing under the rain, even though you could barely stand, and you were very annoying-“

“Not that, Wolfgang.” She stopped him with one hand and walked closer to him, “What did I say to you? Tell me.”

 

Wolfgang’s voice was serious and low, as if he were carefully guarding his thoughts and his emotions.

“You told me you were jealous of all the girls I’ve slept with.”

“And?” She closed her eyes, afraid of what else she had said.

“And I told you it was a good sign,” Wolfgang reached out to caress her cheek and decided to take the risk, one more time, “Because it meant you liked me as much as I liked you.”

Her eyes snapped open and lost themselves in the intensity of his gaze.

“Then we almost kissed before-“

“Before I threw up.”

 

Kala laughed softly but hers was a humorless laugh. She couldn’t believe it; all her carefully hidden emotions had been revealed while she was completely drunk, right before throwing up and making a fool of herself.  _ Oh my god _ , she thought with horror,  _ he even held my hair. _

“You didn’t want to kiss me.” 

“I don’t kiss girls who are drunk. And I thought we deserved better.”

 

She saw it then, so clear in front of her, the opportunity they had been waiting for. They were alone, the only thing that was separating them were her own doubts and fears; what would her mother say? what would happen to their friendship? what if, at the end, they ended up being strangers? she couldn’t stand such thought.

“I can hear your brain working from here.” He said and with a thumb he caressed her bottom lip, so gently.

“I’m scared. What if-“

“Enough. I’ve had enough of you trying to find excuses and pretend there is nothing between us. We both know that’s not true.” Wolfgang leaned his forehead against hers just like he had done the night before, mere inches separating them once again.

“The more we try to hide it, the stronger the feeling gets. Does it not?” 

She touched his arm and looked at him, seeing the same tenderness and affection she had tried to ignore for so long. He truly cared about her, liked her, the way she had so hoped for in the core of her heart.

“What do  _ you _ want Kala?”

 

Perhaps she would regret her action the next day, week or even in the following five minutes. But in that moment, with an intake of breath, she chose not to care.

 

Her lips met his for the first time in their lives, causing an overwhelming explosion of emotions in their bodies never felt before; their trembling hands shyly touched each other’s dies at first but as seconds passed, they quickly found the sense of familiarity they had hoped for.

She wasn’t an expert, the only experience with such things had been a quick peck on the lips with a friend in middle school, but as she thought about the warmth of his body and she focused on the softness of his lips, she felt as if she had meant to do this all her life. Her body seemed to know exactly what to do so she simply stopped listening to her brain.

Her tongue tentatively met his, making Wolfgang grunt deeply and push her bodies closer to his.

Kala ran her hands through his hair, a new powerful feeling setting her entire body ablaze: lust.

She wanted more, needed more, and slowly they walked towards the bed.

 

Lying on top of her, Wolfgang finally broke the kiss so they could catch their breaths. He smiled at her, a part of him fearing she would quickly stop it all and declare it a mistake, but instead she just smiled back just as tenderly.

He kissed her again, and again, until he could feel his lips burning. He had spent so many nights and days wondering how it would feel to kiss her; now he knew it was better than he could have ever imagined, nothing, absolutely nothing, could come close to it.

As her fingertips touched his back underneath his shirt and his grazed the naked, hot skin of her legs, he could feel his control slipping away and was sure she could feel it too — or at least, the surprised gasp she let out when he unintentionally pressed his groin against hers told him so.

 

“We must stop.” He murmured against her lips, breathless.

“Why?”

“You know why.”

But she didn’t stop, after licking his lips she kissed him again, playful teasing him with her tongue.

She loved the way he whispered her name in her ear and each one of his moans made her toes curl in pleasure.

Abruptly, he broke the kiss, laying on the bed next to her and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Wolfgang?”

“I- We have to stop.”

They glanced at each other, almost shyly, and broke out in laughter. They were happy, so deliriously happy for the first time in what felt like years, that it all felt too good to be true.

If someone had entered the room they would have found them there, laughing on the bed side by side, her shirt barely covering her legs and his hair in disarray, and if they had taken one look at their swollen lips, they would understand exactly what was bound to happen.

 

Kala and Wolfgang turned on their sides to look at each other, smiling like a couple of children that were caught in mischief, and lost themselves in her each other’s eyes.

Everything was right in that moment, nothing else mattered but them and if they could have, they would have given everything to stop the time.

 

“Kala, I-“ 

Wolfgang was interrupted by the ringing of her phone coming from her purse and she closed her eyes in resignation. She didn’t need to get up to know who was calling her.

 

And just like that, with a call from Sanyam Dandekar, their little bubble burst in front of their eyes and they were brought back to reality. Their moment of pure, carefree joy ending just as soon as it had started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... thoughts? Once again, I'm sorry for the delay. I will try to update both my stories more frequently now! For ED readers: the final chapter is on its way!  
> Thank you for staying!


End file.
